Is it difficult for an aspie to go abroad alone?

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Highly_Autistic
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16 Dec 2022, 1:33 pm

Have you done that before ?

Flying to a different country, staying there for a week or so, traveling?

I wonder your opinions.



Joe90
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16 Dec 2022, 1:39 pm

I could never go abroad on my own.


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16 Dec 2022, 1:50 pm

yes. And how difficult it is depends entirely on you and what is difficult for you. For me, it would not be particularly difficult but for other people it might be extremely difficult.


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16 Dec 2022, 1:59 pm

I have a friend who goes abroad by herself and she loves it. The furthest I've been on my own is an Island off the coast of Britain and I really enjoyed just pottering around by myself.

Where would you like to go?



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16 Dec 2022, 2:04 pm

I have Asperger's Syndrome. I flew to the other side of the Earth and stayed with a girl that I had corresponded with for a year to meet her in person. We did not speak the same language. I stayed with her for 5 weeks and then proposed to her. She agreed provided I could get her out of her country (the Iron Curtain). It took me a year but I succeeded. We have been married for almost 50 years. It was the best decision I ever made.


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16 Dec 2022, 2:07 pm

jimmy m wrote:
I have Asperger's Syndrome. I flew to the other side of the Earth and stayed with a girl that I had corresponded with for a year to meet her in person. We did not speak the same language. I stayed with her for 5 weeks and then proposed to her. She agreed provided I could get her out of her country (the Iron Curtain). It took me a year but I succeeded. We have been married for almost 50 years. It was the best decision I ever made.
What a beautiful story. They should make a movie about your relationship!


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16 Dec 2022, 3:37 pm

These days, with the PTSD, I can seldom sleep enough to enjoy travel even the first day. However, I had travelled with others before, and done a solo flight at 14 with many stopovers and re-bookings to dodge weather on the way home within the country. So, it did not seem strange to fly with a bicycle to Los Angeles to attend an event and commence a bike tour. Having met some people in the US, I returned many times by car, sometimes solo. Especially on the bike tour, I was probably blundering into risky situations unawares, but nothing ever happened. However, there are no two aspies alike. YMMV.



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16 Dec 2022, 5:31 pm

I've travelled between the USA and the UK several times, always successfully, but with a great deal of difficulty, even now when I have quite a lot of experience with the procedures. There are new unexpected curveballs to deal with every damn time, and I always dread the process. Luckily I'm not prone to meltdowns or the stress of the thing would have reduced me to a basket case, but as it is, I've never been any the worse for my experiences, and tend to be quite proud of my achievement when I'm at the journey's end. But one of these days I may end up stranded. I wouldn't do it if my wife wasn't stuck in the USA, but then if it wasn't so important for me to make the trip, I might not get so stressed about it. After all, if it's just an optional tourist visit, it doesn't matter so much if it fails.



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16 Dec 2022, 5:53 pm

My head is stuck in the past. These days, I won't even approach the US border. I have a tendency to make jokes when stressed, and the TSA people are the kind who hate all humour, having been made fun of in school for not getting jokes.
On the bright side, I once drove a friend to the airport and we were delayed en route, arriving a few minutes too late. She had a major meltdown, and in just a few minutes, staff had gotten her a new ticket to restore her hotel reservations.



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16 Dec 2022, 6:33 pm

I enjoy traveling alone and have been to many places solo.

People are more forgiving of quirks when traveling and in different cultures. In some ways, I feel more at ease abroad than at home.


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16 Dec 2022, 7:42 pm

I may not be on the spectrum but I will share a few things anyway because I do have some issues. I think it helps to know yourself and possibly make baby steps.

I usually go places where my needs are easily met. For Example: If someone goes to a casino with a food court, all their needs are met right there. If someone had never been to a casino there is some entertainment in that at least for me.

Lots of destinations have tourist areas. Big cities can be the same. I kinda enjoy figuring out how things work like transportation and figuring them out. I like to master a destination. Sometimes it helps to be a simpleton.

Personally, I would never go on a cruise because that would be torture to me. I also wouldn’t like regimented guided tours of long duration filled with couples or families. I do like short excursions from a safe central location that meets my needs for food, shelter and entertainment.

It boils down to whether I think I am going to miserable or not. Plenty of things would make me miserable. People ask me don’t I feel lonely doing things alone on vacation but I do things alone in my home country so I don’t see the difference.

People are different. I basically gradually went to different places starting with a flight with family. Then, I picked a place where I wanted to go myself and planned it out. I enjoy planning out personal things that involve myself. It is what I do. There are many instances where I would hate travel. Work can definitely ruin it for me.

I think maybe it helps to be easily entertained with something like a beach, a casino, trains, buses, cabs, brothels, bums, etc… I also like foreign languages. Just hearing other languages is entertainment to me. I also enjoy the sense of escaping whatever matrix I am trapped in by seeing a different matrix. I especially like going places where I blend in. I don’t like to stand out. All I need sometimes is a park bench with some pigeons.

I like water sports and adventure activities so that allows me to be easily entertained also. That is how it works out for me. I can easily see how it would not work out for other people and even myself. I purposely limit the duration of my trips because I would go crazy after a while. I actually wonder if I would eventually go insane because there is something to be said about being grounded and having connections with people.

I like geography, different cultures, nature, adventure on my own terms, etc… so it is a nobrainer for me.



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16 Dec 2022, 8:00 pm

It's different for everyone.

I took two big trips by myself: one to eastern Australia and New Zealand back in January of 2011 and a tour from Calgary and Banff/Jasper through British Columbia into Victoria and Vancouver in summer of 2019.

Admittedly I don't have major sensory issues, seizure risks, or risk of meltdowns or any publicly significant challenges. At worst I just end up living more like an introverted NT but with some extra baggage in the (lack of) conformity department and what kinds of things are weighing on me.

I will say this - if you set something up with a tour agency there are pros, such as the whole thing largely be on autopilot, but there are also cons in that if you'd like to stay in a particular place longer you're kind of SOL - so with that in mind it doesn't hurt to try a place out with a travel agency and then come back again independently to spend more time in the places that meant more to you. Since it's not insanely far I'd love to talk some friends into camping in Alberta near Banff because we did go to some of the camp grounds and it's amazing.


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16 Dec 2022, 9:53 pm

i only once went abroad on my own when i had an interview for coach driving english tourists in spain

as i had been abroad many times when i was doing my tours with the country music band i belonged to i still didnt be very competent when i had to go on my own for the first time

i was waiting in the wrong bit and missed my flight

cut a long story short i didnt go for the job in the end because i found the job im in now


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17 Dec 2022, 1:58 am

I was in the military and was stationed in England (yes, it was easy to blend in for me in the military as I had years of unpleasant practice in a private school). It was my special interest growing up and living there was a dream come true. I did some sightseeing on my own which was fun. I have always been quite determined and independent, so it didn’t bother me. I guess maybe I am a bit different in the fact that I never felt lonely, as I am a lone wolf Aspie. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was about 50, so I kind of knew I was different, I just didn’t know why.



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17 Dec 2022, 2:03 am

It used to be hard for me, especially when I was feeling depressed or burnt out. There were times when I would obsessively check all the time tables of the buses, trains, planes etc. that would take me to my destination, fearing anything from a delayed departure to anxiety over using public toilets.

It got easier as the years went by because I learnt with every step on the way. Now I sometimes go abroad alone to present projects to our clients overseas. That's something I couldn't have imagined ten years ago when I got panic attacks just from a 2 hour flight to London.



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17 Dec 2022, 2:05 am

It is actually easier for me to travel alone.  The more travelling companions I have, the more sudden changes have to be made, and the more difficult the travel becomes.


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