What Am I Even Supposed To Do To?

Page 5 of 26 [ 402 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 ... 26  Next

rse92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Oct 2021
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,076
Location: Buffalo, NY

24 Jan 2023, 3:48 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Mona Pereth wrote:
Your new job might improve your luck on dating apps too, at least a little bit. In any case, it's great to hear that you got that job!

Thanks!

Mona Pereth wrote:
Yes, a casino job will give you lots and lots of opportunities to meet people. But be careful. Does the casino have a code of conduct regarding social interactions between employees and customers? If so, read it carefully.... Make sure you don't end up getting in trouble for failing to maintain professional boundaries.

I didn't see anything about that in the code of conduct. I'll probably reread it just to make sure.

In any case, I don't expect that getting flirty with a customer at the blackjack table would be a good idea. If that customer does a lot of winning, eyebrows will probably be raised in my direction. That said, it's not impossible for something to evolve with a staff member or regular customer. I'm not expecting anything, but at least there's a greater opportunity for it to happen than there is currently.


You really should avoid dipping your pen in the company ink. If it goes wrong it could really wrong really fast.



The Grand Inquisitor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,753

24 Jan 2023, 6:19 pm

rse92 wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Mona Pereth wrote:
Your new job might improve your luck on dating apps too, at least a little bit. In any case, it's great to hear that you got that job!

Thanks!

Mona Pereth wrote:
Yes, a casino job will give you lots and lots of opportunities to meet people. But be careful. Does the casino have a code of conduct regarding social interactions between employees and customers? If so, read it carefully.... Make sure you don't end up getting in trouble for failing to maintain professional boundaries.

I didn't see anything about that in the code of conduct. I'll probably reread it just to make sure.

In any case, I don't expect that getting flirty with a customer at the blackjack table would be a good idea. If that customer does a lot of winning, eyebrows will probably be raised in my direction. That said, it's not impossible for something to evolve with a staff member or regular customer. I'm not expecting anything, but at least there's a greater opportunity for it to happen than there is currently.


You really should avoid dipping your pen in the company ink. If it goes wrong it could really wrong really fast.

It's possible, or perhaps likely, that nothing will happen in the first place. I don't intend to make advances on anyone, but if I happen to finally meet someone who seems interested and compatible, I'm going to explore it if I can.

If I was flushed with opportunities outside of work then I'd take those instead, but that's not my reality.



Mona Pereth
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,810
Location: New York City (Queens)

24 Jan 2023, 6:39 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
If I was flushed with opportunities outside of work then I'd take those instead, but that's not my reality.

Your new career has likely improved your overall social status at least a little bit, hence might improve your prospects outside of work, at least so some extent.


_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter / "X" (new as of 2021)


The Grand Inquisitor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,753

28 Jan 2023, 4:31 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
If I was flushed with opportunities outside of work then I'd take those instead, but that's not my reality.

Your new career has likely improved your overall social status at least a little bit, hence might improve your prospects outside of work, at least so some extent.

Yes, that's true, but only if I'm actually able to meet people in the first place.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

28 Jan 2023, 9:54 pm

At least you can support yourself….that’s very important.

Glad you got the job!



The Grand Inquisitor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,753

01 Feb 2023, 2:42 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
At least you can support yourself….that’s very important.

Glad you got the job!

Thanks



The Grand Inquisitor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,753

08 Feb 2023, 3:03 am

Well I was misled. I was told that my facial hair would not be a problem for the job but on my first day of training, I was told I'd be required to cut my beard short to work there, which was never an option for me.

So now not only did the job I was excited about fall through, but I've quit my old job (which I wanted to leave anyway) and ended up unemployed.

I think this might be the last straw for me. I'm done with this crap.



rse92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Oct 2021
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,076
Location: Buffalo, NY

08 Feb 2023, 8:08 am

May I ask why trimming your beard was "not an option" for you such that you would choose to be unemployed, and among other things lose the opportunity to meet people, rather than trim it?



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

08 Feb 2023, 8:42 am

You will not meet nice people in a casino anyway.



The Grand Inquisitor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,753

08 Feb 2023, 9:21 am

rse92 wrote:
May I ask why trimming your beard was "not an option" for you such that you would choose to be unemployed, and among other things lose the opportunity to meet people, rather than trim it?

Because it is a part of my appearance that I feel very strongly about keeping. Taking a job that condemns me to lose that for the foreseeable future isn't worth it.

If that doesn't suffiently convey where I'm coming from then I don't think I can make you understand.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

08 Feb 2023, 9:30 am

You would still be "you," even if you've shaved off your beard.



The Grand Inquisitor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,753

08 Feb 2023, 10:22 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
You would still be "you," even if you've shaved off your beard.

Again, if you don't get it, you're probably not going to get it



Where_am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,392
Location: London

08 Feb 2023, 10:37 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Well I was misled. I was told that my facial hair would not be a problem for the job but on my first day of training, I was told I'd be required to cut my beard short to work there, which was never an option for me.

So now not only did the job I was excited about fall through, but I've quit my old job (which I wanted to leave anyway) and ended up unemployed.

I think this might be the last straw for me. I'm done with this crap.

Sorry it didn't work out. :|

The issue is them misleading you by saying it was ok. You wouldn't have taken the job if they said it needs to be cut short.

I would challenge them about that.


_________________
"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis


The Grand Inquisitor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,753

08 Feb 2023, 1:03 pm

Where_am_I wrote:
Sorry it didn't work out. :|

Thank you

Where_am_I wrote:
The issue is them misleading you by saying it was ok. You wouldn't have taken the job if they said it needs to be cut short.

I would challenge them about that.

I agree. That's exactly what I said to them, and I showed them the email correspondence I had with the HR guy who said I'd be fine. Unfortunately he was mistaken. The supervisors unanimously agreed that my beard was not suitable. The trainee coordinator pretty much used whatever angle they could think of to tell me that it wasn't going to work unless I cut my beard, including implying that an unwillingness to cut my beard could be an indication of an unwillingness to comply with other regulations, which is unfair for what should be obvious reasons.

They originally tried to say that the guy wouldn't remember how long my beard was but I told them I'd included that in the email. In the end they basically used the part of their policy that dictated that management gets to determine what is suitable.

The training coordinator seemed to feel bad for me. They said I could do a couple more days training while the decision was finalised but I felt that if there's no prospect of me being a dealer, all going there for a couple more days will do is taunt me.

I really wish this hadn't happened. I wish I'd known outright and got to reject the application of my own terms. I got really excited about being a dealer. I told everybody. Finally, something I could see myself being happy doing. I was always a bit sceptical of it actually happening up until I was told I'd be fine with my facial hair, at which point I finally allowed myself to get excited.

Now I just feel deflated. I'm depressed enough. I don't need more things to be depressed about.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

08 Feb 2023, 1:22 pm

Of course I “get it!”

Sorry this happened….but no reason to get testy.

Is there some religious reason you don’t want to mess with your beard? Personally, I have nothing against it.

Your beard can grow again once you’ve trimmed it. How much did they want you to trim it?

I can’t help it. I understand “principles”—but if the loss of this opportunity would lead to you feeling hopeless, why not bend a bit when it comes to the beard? It’ll grow back. I don’t like that you might be back to “square one.”

Maybe I don’t understand. What does the beard symbolize for you?

It’s not “selling out” if you trim the beard, I don’t believe.

I wish you could get in a trade union or something like that.



Where_am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,392
Location: London

08 Feb 2023, 1:50 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Where_am_I wrote:
Sorry it didn't work out. :|

Thank you

Where_am_I wrote:
The issue is them misleading you by saying it was ok. You wouldn't have taken the job if they said it needs to be cut short.

I would challenge them about that.

I agree. That's exactly what I said to them, and I showed them the email correspondence I had with the HR guy who said I'd be fine. Unfortunately he was mistaken. The supervisors unanimously agreed that my beard was not suitable. The trainee coordinator pretty much used whatever angle they could think of to tell me that it wasn't going to work unless I cut my beard, including implying that an unwillingness to cut my beard could be an indication of an unwillingness to comply with other regulations, which is unfair for what should be obvious reasons.

They originally tried to say that the guy wouldn't remember how long my beard was but I told them I'd included that in the email. In the end they basically used the part of their policy that dictated that management gets to determine what is suitable.

The training coordinator seemed to feel bad for me. They said I could do a couple more days training while the decision was finalised but I felt that if there's no prospect of me being a dealer, all going there for a couple more days will do is taunt me.

I really wish this hadn't happened. I wish I'd known outright and got to reject the application of my own terms. I got really excited about being a dealer. I told everybody. Finally, something I could see myself being happy doing. I was always a bit sceptical of it actually happening up until I was told I'd be fine with my facial hair, at which point I finally allowed myself to get excited.

Now I just feel deflated. I'm depressed enough. I don't need more things to be depressed about.

The bolded bit :x . That's a sign of a s**t employer.

You have evidence that they agreed it was fine. They are in the wrong.

Do you have anything like a Citizens Advice charity in your country? Services like this will be able to advise you on your rights, and what steps to take next - that is if you want to take it further.


_________________
"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis