What do people talk about on first dates?

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I have a 'Is this a date or are we casually hanging out?' situation coming up, which has made me wonder - what do people talk about on dates?

Not that you can exactly script it, since that would come across as clunky. Hmm.

Although I suppose a better question is - how do I not feel nervous about it? I'm sure it will be fine, it's just coffee. I can do coffee. Yeah, this is fine. Ugh I don't know what to wear.

No. Don't overthink this. Just coffee. Only a couple of days now.

Really…..just “be yourself.”

Talking about your family is always an ice breaker.

Never talk about dating as a concept, or about relationships in the abstract.

Trains of course!

When I first met my boyfriend it wasn't the stereotypical first date where you're eating at a fancy restaurant trying not to say anything dumb and talking like you're speaking to the Queen. We just arranged to meet in the bus-station while he was at work and because he was a bus-driver back then I just had a ride around the city in his bus, then when he finished he drove me back to his apartment and cooked me dinner, and we just exchanged facts about each other's family and other casual stuff like that. We had spoken on the phone before then, getting to know each other like our birthdays and what we liked, disliked, that sort of thing.

It's no big deal really. You just get to know each other on the first date, and with me and my boyfriend there was no "oh God, what's he/she thinking?" sort of thing. It was just like meeting a friend for the first time, except we both knew it was already the start of a beautiful relationship that is still going strong 8 years later.

I never go on dates with strangers, so they are usually someone who knows vaguely what I'm like and what I usually talk about. So I don't feel pressured to put on a show, so to speak. If they asked me a question about trains I could tell them about a Jago Hazard video I watched.

Aye, but a normal girl would probably prefer if you asked her how her family is, how's work going, have you seen any good films lately, are you reading a good book right now, where did you go on holiday last year? Etc

I wouldn't say we're strangers. However, this is the first time that we're meeting IRL so I'm a bit nervous. We've been online friends for a couple of months. I know a couple of things about her. We've mainly been talking about books. I know that her favourite type of plant is a cactus. Which might be an odd conversation starter.

She likes to bake and she draws, but she struggles with drawing animals - I'm the exact opposite, I can draw animals but struggle with anything else (except flowers - I'm good at drawing flowers). Mainly sticks with creating small prints. Not much of a gamer from what I've gathered. Likes hipster fashion. I don't know about her family or if she enjoys her job.

At least I have a couple of potential topics to start the conversation. I've no idea if it's going to be awkward or not.

Honestly, any guy who asks to go somewhere with you alone is most likely asking you out on a date.

If a guy around your age that you know is like "hey we should grab a bite to eat sometime" then there's probably romantic intentions involved.

Has she expressed any sort of romantic feelings for you?

When will you two meet?

The point of first dates is to get a sense of whether or not you and your date are potentially compatible, and to look for any signs of potential deal-breakers. I like to think of first dates as like a job interview; you are interviewing the person and seeing whether or not you two are potentially a good fit for one another.


With that said, I think a good strategy when you're on a first date is to try and ask questions based on your interests and values, and see if you can find some common ground with your date. An example might be if you're very religious and want a deeply Christian man, something you could ask your date is "Do you consider yourself to be religious?" Or if you're very sporty, ask your date a question that is related to sports and pay attention to how they respond.


I also think a really good question to ask someone on a date is "What are your hobbies and interests?" because how they answer can also indicate whether or not you two may have similar hobbies and lifestyle.