Service Animal

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How do I convince my mom that I do need a service or emotional support animal especially since my therapist told me I needed one. Because right now I have a cat but she's 8 years old and my mom said after my cat passes away she doesn't want anymore animals. And she doesn't like dogs and wouldn't ever let one inside, but right now I live with my parents so I can't just automatically start looking for a service animal on my own. And she has said I don't even like dogs but I do I just like calm dogs that don't bark or jump on me because when i was 4 I was almost bitten by a neighbors dog and that has affected me ever since then and i'm 31 now.

Although I don't know your mom, and don't have a good answer about how to convince her, I sure do hope you do manage to do so.

Would you agree she does have your best interests at heart, that is, we're not addressing a narcissist parent kind of situation in this case?

Have you gotten across the service dog info on Nathan Selove's YouTube channel? It's pretty good.

I could make the abstract point that seeking a service animal really ought to be your choice alone, but while you continue living there, it does somewhat deal your mom into the conversation, for right or wrong.

It might be that you end up telling her something like, "I've considered carefully, and decided to get a service animal. I hope I can count on your support in this."

You've got about ten years. Why not make friends with your local wildlife that the cat can't get to?

I imagine a service animal is an animal that you take with you so you do not have panic attacks.otherwise it makes no sense unless you are blind, have seizures or are allergic to something like peanuts.

I imagine part of convincing your mom would be s explaining why you need one. What is your explanation? I’m not saying you don’t have one. I’m just following a normal course of logic.

Cats are no good for travel as they run away. I don’t know why someone would want to carry a dog around with them everywhere. I imagine the burden and responsibility of taking care of an animal distracts people from their problems. Do you want burden and responsibility? The whole service animal thing in general is rather crazy without a further explanation.

You know people get addicted to animals by caring for them? People fall in love with things they take care of. I have animals. People get addicted to animal related things. It can replace religion. Social media also promotes it with addictions to virtue signaling. I think you have to ask what you are signing up for, or being signed up for by your therapist.

In the past I volunteered at a local animal rescue. Most have volunteers for dog walking. While this is not the same as a service animal, you should be able to go over most times that they are open if you want some time with a dog.

I find music helpful for dealing with stress. Maybe there is another answer besides having a service animal. At least while you keep your current living situation.

If you are seeking emotional support from a pet (ie. The animal's presence, petting, interacting calms you), you can probably get a similar benefit from a rabbit or Guinea pig (since they are rodents and can sleep in a cage, your mom may view them as less burdensome).

If you need to train the animal to perform tasks to assist you, then you probably need a dog, as they will learn quickly and be able to perform more tasks than a small animal. They also live longer, giving you longer benefit from the training invested.

It's a very individual choice. Many disabled people have service animals, and many do not. If you view pet ownership as a burden, then I definitely wouldn't recommend a service animal, as they will require all the care of a pet, in addition to specialized training.

You made good points.

I just want to point out that there are only so many tasks a dog can perform that are helpful and sometimes that is because of their unique abilities like scent detection or a person’s inabilities.

The chances of someone with no training buying a working breed puppy and training it to perform commonly accepted useful tasks is slim.

An ordinary person can not successfully own a Malinios. I would think most people cannot even own a sheep dog. Some people can own a lab, but it is not like someone can buy a lab puppy and turn it into a seeing eye dog without going through many dogs.

If you watch a YouTube video of the smartest dog in the world remembering names of toys and retrieving them, that is a task a human can do themselves unless they are handicapped. And if you are a first time dog owner, good luck training a dog to do that. Most people wouldn’t even be able to own that dog which is a sheep dog much less train it to reliably retrieve objects by name.

Last edited by JimJohn on 22 Dec 2022, 12:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This is an interesting question. First off I would not describe the dog as an emotional support animal. Dogs can grow to be almost a friend. They have some human qualities. I had a dog and a cat for many years. When one passed away I would replace it with another and then train these two animals to become friends. I did this for over 40 years. My animals are outside animals because I live in the country and there is plenty of space for them.

Now the important question is to find the best breed of dog to become your dog. You might find a way to borrow a dog so you can show your parents that you can act responsibly and take care of them. There is work involved in raising a dog and you need to do this work, not your parents, but YOU.

In other words prove to your parents that you can act responsibly and are willing to perform the task. Tell them it is a good learning experience for you. You need to grow and taking care of a dog will help you mature.

If I were you I would ask my therapist to write a letter explain why he/she is recommending a service animal for you. Explain that you would like to show this letter to your mother, and explain about the conversation with your mother that you already had and what you understand her concerns to be. You could also ask your therapist to meet with both you and your mother to discuss both the animal and the therapist’s concern for you and how the service animal would help you.

Let's consider the animal's needs too. Perhaps the mother has noticed that the cat is not really happy there. Many animals are treated like brainless automatons, and develop "behaviour problems." Only a small minority of pet owners appreciate them for their own intelligence and unique abilities and needs. Our homes are an alien environment to them.
A dog can teach itself if it wants to help. If your pet wants to go out, don't ask it to confirm it a dozen times ever more emphatically, as if you can barely understand - just let it out. A dog is usually very aware of the owner, and really responds well to be seen as itself. If the mother in this story is just never sympatico with animals, and only sees them as a chore. the animal won't be feeling welcome or secure.

Thanks guys, I had my therapist talk with my mom about me getting a service dog and the one concern is what do I do with it when I go to work. Because I work at one of the local schools as an instructional aide and I leave at 7:15 a.m. and usually don't get back until 2:30 p.m.

That's a common concern, when I wanted lizards, I had to be clear with my parents that I would be caring for them, that it wouldn't become their responsibility.

And yeah, dogs are quiet social, you'd probably need somebody to interact with one during the rest of the day. Depending on what exactly you need the animal for, a different type might be better in this case.

If the service dog is a genuine need it can go to school with you. That would kind of be the point. The school is not allowed to say no.

Agreed. In at least one of Nathan Selove's YouTube videos you can see this exact thing playing out. He's up front, and so is his service dog. e.g. Here