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Aet1985
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24 Dec 2022, 4:14 pm

I really have been scaring myself lately, is it a Aspie issue that we can't handle a lot of stress or being irritated for long periods? for example my father can at times be ''high strung'' ''nervous'' and get angry easily verbally, and along with everything else bothering me in my life I get irritable and need to ''relax'' for hours, yet NT's seem to be able to handle a lot easier, but I need a ''quiet'' life, I actually make myself physically sick



kitesandtrainsandcats
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24 Dec 2022, 4:17 pm

While that can exist independent of Aspergers/Autism, yes, it is a known part of having this stuff.


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Aet1985
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24 Dec 2022, 4:20 pm

I don't consider myself a ''weak'' or ''fragile'' person but it does seem I have a strong yet sensitive or intricate nervous system. I can only be pushed so far then I either get upset or yell, I usually leave the room and have ''crying episodes'' instead of losing my temper. The other issue I worry about as far as stress is not wanting to ''take on'' a lot, for example my senior year everybody was in a hurry to ''take on the world'' and I wasn't ready and am still not



kitesandtrainsandcats
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24 Dec 2022, 4:24 pm

Aet1985 wrote:
The other issue I worry about as far as stress is not wanting to ''take on'' a lot, for example my senior year everybody was in a hurry to ''take on the world'' and I wasn't ready and am still not


That also is a thing.

You are the one person who is living in your body and doing your being & therefore you are the only person who can truly know what you are ready to do and how much of it you are up to doing before going in to overload.


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kitesandtrainsandcats
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24 Dec 2022, 4:28 pm

Perhaps useful information in there?

https://www.autism360.com/news/managing ... condition/

Quote:
For Adults
Managing Stress with Autism Spectrum Disorder
By Ash Bhattacharya May 12, 2017

By the end of this post, you will have a better understanding of what stress is and how the stress response works. You will be able to describe factors which influence responses to stress by individuals with ASD, identify challenges related to stress, and identify types of interventions and support that may be available for teaching coping skills.​


...

Quote:
Studies indicate that those with autism spectrum disorder do indeed experience heightened responses to stress. This is understandable considering the following studies.


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Aet1985
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24 Dec 2022, 4:35 pm

kitesandtrainsandcats wrote:
Aet1985 wrote:
The other issue I worry about as far as stress is not wanting to ''take on'' a lot, for example my senior year everybody was in a hurry to ''take on the world'' and I wasn't ready and am still not


That also is a thing.

You are the one person who is living in your body and doing your being & therefore you are the only person who can truly know what you are ready to do and how much of it you are up to doing before going in to overload.


A good example is I don't consider myself a ''immature'' person but intelligent and professional, yet at the same time I don't want a high stress job, wife, and many children, as I feel all at once would be ''too much'' yet I am just fine with taking care of my dog and the responsibility, when I was in High School and even now if you are not interested in the so called ''NT Dream'' people look at me like something is wrong with me



kitesandtrainsandcats
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24 Dec 2022, 5:01 pm

Aet1985 wrote:
if you are not interested in the so called ''NT Dream'' people look at me like something is wrong with me


I attribute that 'looking at' to a fantasy, a myth, our society/culture has adopted, has bought in to; perhaps it can even be justifiably be called The Lie of Being "Successful".

This society has been sold a belief about what "Success" is and they have bought it without reading the fine print.

And because of the inherent tribalism of human beings, those who bought the lie look down upon the "renegades" who are not buying the lie, are not living the lie.

You be you.

If that You is at heart a conformist, then you be you & if that You is a renegade non-conformist, then you be you.

You are not living society's life and society is not living your life.


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Aet1985
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24 Dec 2022, 5:20 pm

kitesandtrainsandcats I sent you a private message and I apologize for getting way off topic but, do you happen to know a woman named Pearl? I know Missouri is a big state but it's worth a shot to ask



kitesandtrainsandcats
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24 Dec 2022, 5:23 pm

Aet1985 wrote:
kitesandtrainsandcats I sent you a private message and I apologize for getting way off topic but, do you happen to know a woman named Pearl? I know Missouri is a big state but it's worth a shot to ask


At the moment that private message hasn't appeared but I do see this.

Pearl is not a name used by anyone I know here.


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Aet1985
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24 Dec 2022, 5:24 pm

you don't know any Asian Woman in person by that name? she is a Phillipina woman I met online years ago



kitesandtrainsandcats
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24 Dec 2022, 5:32 pm

Aet1985 wrote:
you don't know any Asian Woman in person by that name? she is a Phillipina woman I met online years ago


Nope. Only women I directly know who have Asian ethnicity are my 2 nephews' wives who each have names with several more syllables than Pearl does.


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ToughDiamond
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24 Dec 2022, 5:44 pm

kitesandtrainsandcats wrote:
You are the one person who is living in your body and doing your being & therefore you are the only person who can truly know what you are ready to do and how much of it you are up to doing before going in to overload.

Amen to that. Whenever I've been pushed into something I don't feel ready for, it's usually gone wrong. Often I have no clear idea why I'm not ready, but my instinct seems to know. When I've had time to consider a requirement, to figure out that I'd better give it a try, and to psych myself up to it, I'm often surprised how well I can do. But it has to come from me.



kitesandtrainsandcats
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24 Dec 2022, 6:20 pm

ToughDiamond wrote:
Whenever I've been pushed into something I don't feel ready for, it's usually gone wrong.


BINGO! :star: :hail:


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Dengashinobi
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25 Dec 2022, 7:17 am

kitesandtrainsandcats wrote:
Aet1985 wrote:
if you are not interested in the so called ''NT Dream'' people look at me like something is wrong with me


I attribute that 'looking at' to a fantasy, a myth, our society/culture has adopted, has bought in to; perhaps it can even be justifiably be called The Lie of Being "Successful".

This society has been sold a belief about what "Success" is and they have bought it without reading the fine print.

And because of the inherent tribalism of human beings, those who bought the lie look down upon the "renegades" who are not buying the lie, are not living the lie.

You be you.

If that You is at heart a conformist, then you be you & if that You is a renegade non-conformist, then you be you.

You are not living society's life and society is not living your life.


So true, everyone is chasing a predetermined set of goals. It's like they are competing with each other about who achieves those goals faster and better. That could explain partly why people are hostile to autistics. I can now recollect instances where people where either laughing at me or even being enraged by me not perusing what they belive is a universally accepted mode of operation. It's as if they are projecting their own frustration at the exhaustion they feel after a lifetime of chasing those milestones. They get upset about how can I be content at a moment where I haven't even tried to persue those goals.



ToughDiamond
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28 Dec 2022, 10:07 am

Aet1985 wrote:
The other issue I worry about as far as stress is not wanting to ''take on'' a lot, for example my senior year everybody was in a hurry to ''take on the world'' and I wasn't ready and am still not

I sometimes feel a bit uneasy about not wanting to take on much, but it's comforting to remember that the average American spends 4 hours a day watching TV and quite a lot of time piddling around on a smartphone. Not exactly busting a gut are they?