increasing disorganization as we aspies age

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how many of you struggle more with organization as you age?
YES ME! :bounce: 50%  50%  [ 19 ]
NO! i'm still with it! :bounce: 16%  16%  [ 6 ]
i'm not so sure anymore. :shrug: 18%  18%  [ 7 ]
where's my soft serve? :chef: 16%  16%  [ 6 ]
Total votes : 38

auntblabby
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28 Dec 2022, 2:58 am

as i have aged in place and grayed here and sagged there, i find i have a notably harder time staying on top of things. case in point, i just can't pick up after meself anymore, the place is a mess and i can't summon the frontal lobe energy to fix it. anybody else here in similar straits? :|



IsabellaLinton
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28 Dec 2022, 3:06 am

My home was beautiful for Christmas but it took painstaking hours / weeks / sprees of energy.
Now it looks like a bomb hit it.
This is more or less my normal state of being.

I have ADHD but I'm sure the strokes didn't help.
I can't focus on squat anymore.
I can't start, do, or finish anything without months of thinking about it.

It's a miracle I've survived such a bass-ackwards life.


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auntblabby
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28 Dec 2022, 3:44 am

^^^sounds like you still had enough gumption to get 'er done.



Edna3362
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28 Dec 2022, 4:45 am

I seem to be.

I might as well just lost most of the usefulness of my frontal lobe since the age of 25... Despite working full time and still get things done.

... Or, is actually suppressed for some reason. I'm not giving up on it yet.
Chances are somewhere I'm sick or coping with something else that do not allow me to fully access my abilities. I feel layers of fog and subtle sense of tiredness that do cause disorganization.

There should be a treatment for this particular issue because executive functions matters in independence.

I value any sense of independence I have above else. I would hate myself if I couldn't able to keep up trying to at least take care of myself.


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auntblabby
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28 Dec 2022, 4:59 am

my worry is that i'll end up in a nursing home / ruled "incompetent." that is a fate worse than anything else.



ToughDiamond
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28 Dec 2022, 10:17 am

I was worse when I was younger.



Rossall
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28 Dec 2022, 10:37 am

All hail the expanding A-Z box file.. My saviour.


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Fenn
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28 Dec 2022, 11:47 am

Decreasing EF (executive function that old frontal lobe energy) is part of “normal aging”. ADHD is also associated EF issues. So is Autism. I find it harder and harder to force the “distracting” thoughts out and the “focusing” thoughts into the spotlight of my working memory and EF. Caffeine can help with the “stick to it” but not the “chose the ‘it’ well”. Will power can help but sometimes I cannot find my inner willpower jar or the jar seems utterly empty.


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DanielW
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28 Dec 2022, 11:54 am

Its a difficult question for me to answer. I seem to have less trouble with organization as I have gotten older - BUT that's not because I've learned to be better at it, its because I've lowered the bar and the expectations about what organized is.

I live alone, so there is no one else either to make a mess or to complain about one. I naturally like things reasonably tidy/organised so Its never very far off, but if there are times when I am less than usually organised, so be it.



auntblabby
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28 Dec 2022, 6:34 pm

ToughDiamond wrote:
I was worse when I was younger.

can you tell me your technique for improving as you aged?



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28 Dec 2022, 7:29 pm

I know in my case I was extremely rigid and needed lots of structure in my life.

Over time, I realized that this rigidity was not exactly helping my mental health. As a result I became much less of a slave to structure and learned to let things slide if I started to feel overwhelmed.

All of this happened before I knew I was on the spectrum.

Now I'm trying to find the perfect balance. At least now I understand why I am the way I am.



ToughDiamond
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28 Dec 2022, 7:58 pm

auntblabby wrote:
ToughDiamond wrote:
I was worse when I was younger.

can you tell me your technique for improving as you aged?

I'm not sure how it happened. I think I just learned from experience. One step was when I realised that if I was going to bring a new item into the house then I first needed to know whereabouts it was going to live. Another step was looking at the mess I was living in and noticing that I'd be engulfed if I didn't mend my ways to a degree, that the elves weren't going to do the job for me. Another thing was gradually understanding what tidying up and organising was (it was originally a very blurred concept to me). And I figured out that getting everything organised in one big swoop was never going to happen but that micro-chores didn't hurt as much as I'd expected them to do.

Accepting that some of my rooms were going to be "rooms of shame" where I'd just keep the doors shut until one day I might pluck up the courage to make a start in there, and just keeping the most-used parts of the house fairly ordered. It was surprising to find that the contents of rooms that humans rarely set foot in don't get covered in dust anything like so readily as they do in rooms that are lived in (I gather most house dust is actually dead skin).

Building shelves was helpful. And I discovered the concept of purgatory for stuff I thought I should probably throw away - I can rarely bring myself to immediately trash anything but if I put it in a labelled box and leave it for a good long time, then somehow it gets easier to finally discard it or decide I'm going to keep it after all. There are important decisions to be made when tidying up, and they shouldn't be rushed. It was also useful to become conscious of certain arrangements of possessions that attract a lot of dust and create a laborious task (e.g. cleaning the dust of a great big collection of small items on open surfaces), and that sometimes containers are worth the effort of having to open and close them to get access to the contents.

Not that my stuff is laudably well-organised even now. Just that it's better than it was.



auntblabby
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28 Dec 2022, 8:02 pm

^^^sounds like you did it nearly as well as any professional could have done.



ToughDiamond
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28 Dec 2022, 9:58 pm

auntblabby wrote:
^^^sounds like you did it nearly as well as any professional could have done.

Well, if you mean those professional lifestyle and self-help people, I've long thought that many of them don't know that much, though I'm not saying there aren't exceptions. I think we often learn best when we find out for ourselves, even if it can take decades. I did get the idea about using containers from a book, though I had to "hold my nose" to read it because the author kept showing admiration for "professionally successful" people. That book also might have been responsible for telling me that a lot of things don't get sorted out simply because they're in a physical space that's hard to work in. I've got a cupboard under the stairs like that. Its roof slopes downwards towards the back, which causes problems. There also isn't enough room in front of its door to swing a cat because there's a wall in the way. I'd always wondered why I never got that cupboard properly organised.

Pretty stupid of me to take so long to realise how useful boxes can be. One of those totally obvious things that I'd somehow missed. And the awareness of the architecture's effect on my poor performance with sorting out that damn cupboard, it's odd that I missed that for so many years, and blamed myself.



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29 Dec 2022, 4:48 am

Fenn wrote:
Decreasing EF (executive function that old frontal lobe energy) is part of “normal aging”. ADHD is also associated EF issues. So is Autism. I find it harder and harder to force the “distracting” thoughts out and the “focusing” thoughts into the spotlight of my working memory and EF. Caffeine can help with the “stick to it” but not the “chose the ‘it’ well”. Will power can help but sometimes I cannot find my inner willpower jar or the jar seems utterly empty.

That has been my experience, probably for the reason you cite. Not that I had much organization skills as a younger person.


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auntblabby
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29 Dec 2022, 4:48 am

i collect boxes but tend to collect too many of them. my energy drinks come in flimsy boxes that i store CDRs and DVD-Rs in.