Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

JustFoundHere
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Jan 2018
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,140
Location: California

29 Dec 2022, 7:18 pm

I sense friendships and/or acquaintances with people familliar with High Functioning Autism (HFA) are short of mandatory - that is HFA adults who are pretty-much NT like.

Personally, I imagine freindships stemming for recreational activities (arts & culture are top choices).

Any beneficial experiences?



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

29 Dec 2022, 7:41 pm

Friendships are basically where people want to spend time with you and do things with you and enjoy your company. It also involves an invisible telepathic connection, in other words a bond, where they couldn't explain in words why you're friends, it just is.

No matter how good your social skills are (mine aren't that bad really), if you fail to connect that telepathic bond then friendships won't really last or even form in the first place. It's like having a slow WiFi connection where everything is plugged in correctly and everything is working correctly but for some reason the connection to devices is just slow or hazy.


_________________
Female


Mona Pereth
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,810
Location: New York City (Queens)

01 Jan 2023, 12:53 am

Joe90 wrote:
Friendships are basically where people want to spend time with you and do things with you and enjoy your company.

The above is what I call companionship, which is one of what I call the foundations of friendship.

Joe90 wrote:
It also involves an invisible telepathic connection, in other words a bond, where they couldn't explain in words why you're friends, it just is.

No matter how good your social skills are (mine aren't that bad really), if you fail to connect that telepathic bond then friendships won't really last or even form in the first place.

Do you literally mean "telepathic" here?

I would say that the essence of friendship is mutual caring about each other's well-being, and that it tends to arise, gradually, when most of what I call the foundations of friendship have been in place for a while. Besides (1) companionship, the other three foundations of friendship are:

(2) Emotional intimacy: Mutual trust and acceptance of each other's real selves.
(3) Comradeship: Facing common challenges together.
(4) Doing favors for each other.

A friendship doesn't necessarily have to have all four of these foundations, but I am under the impression that nearly all friendships, or at least nearly all close friendships, have at least three out of the four.


_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter / "X" (new as of 2021)


Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,364
Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔

03 Jan 2023, 4:00 am

No.

Well, I don't.
To me it's just individual progressions of human social dynamics. I do not need to imagine dynamics, I just let it happen.
Emotions can follow, unspoken things can follow through time and experience, transactional nature of relationships would follow...

But that's because, to me, friendships are more like bonuses than something mandatory.

I don't have to find and base it all with something in common (unless it's a platform itself -- as basic as time, space and medium, then that only makes the initial stuff easy).

Friendships are just the more pleasing ones, with some give and takes, with some tolerance or compromise or full acceptance of a trait depending on the individuals involved.


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.


JustFoundHere
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Jan 2018
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,140
Location: California

03 Jan 2023, 6:07 pm

Thank-you for your responses.

By the very nature of Autism Spectrum - including 'High Functioning Autism' (HFA), reading about, and even imagining freindships remains abstract-concepts.

Here in the 'Social Skills & Making Freinds Forum,' the discussion-thread, 'Need Video-Clips On Boosting Social-Skills' might offer helpful resources in "breaking the ice so to speak."



JustFoundHere
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Jan 2018
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,140
Location: California

17 Jan 2023, 11:42 pm

JustFoundHere wrote:
Thank-you for your responses.

By the very nature of Autism Spectrum - including 'High Functioning Autism' (HFA), reading about, and even imagining freindships remains abstract-concepts.

Here in the 'Social Skills & Making Freinds Forum,' the discussion-thread, 'Need Video-Clips On Boosting Social-Skills' might offer helpful resources in "breaking the ice so to speak."


Anybody view the 'Need Video-Clips On Boosting Social-Skills' here in the 'Social Skills and Making Friends Forum?' The latest post (as of this writing) mentions the need for videos from a 'first person perspective.'

Video content applying 'first person perspectives' tend to be more memorable than the all to common video content containing 'third person perspectives.' 'First person perspective' videos on social situations are hard to find!

A recent PBS Show 'POV -I Didn't See You There' often applied 'third person perspectives' on a developmentally disabled adult venturing-out into the world at large.

After viewing 'POV,' and reassessing my own personal challenges with social skills, I strongly felt that video content applying 'first person perspectives' on such challenges as breaking the acquaintence barrier might very well be encouraging.

After all, putting experiences/challenges to words begins to feel like increasingly futile exercises of "stretching the English language to it's limits" - "spinning our wheels" and just plain discouragment so to speak.

Might video content applying 'first person perspectives' stand-out and enourage people on the Autism Spectrum to progress their social-skills beyond small talk?