Procrastination/lack of focus.

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goldfish21
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30 Dec 2022, 3:15 am

Has been terrible today. :/

I did go make a run to the local transfer station and get rid of a bunch of garbage that I'd stashed on the side of the house for a couple weeks, so it's something.

The materials supplier I wanted to grab stuff at was closed an hour early w/o updating google so I didn't get anything I wanted to grab tdy. :/ Might have to go there first thing tmw just in case I run out of anything critical tmw.

I SHOULD HAVE spent the evening doing school work but I mostly pissed around online and now it's midnight and I'm just looking at the school work now. Fortunately these assignments don't have a firm scheduled due date over the holidays just a note to "submit by end of week," on the schedule so it'll be fine tmw or so as instructors are off this week, too. And I just noticed in an overview login page that I've missed doing a couple micro assignments (that are super simple just to make sure you read stuff) and really should catch all of that up to date 100% over the next few days vs. slip behind.

HOPEFULLY I get caught up and then ahead on the next assignment over the next week. Can't afford to slip behind and have consequences for it. Muuuust complete everything in order to advance through this training course and other certifications done on weekends etc so that I can earn my spot in the in person training/assessments in February.

At least my diet hasn't been horrendous over the holidays. Just gotta do a few little things like cardio, UV light, sleep/water etc to keep up my focus I think. Also been a good thing I've been smoking next to zero herb lately as I can't read and do school work stoned. Probably could could back further on the alcohol - even though I only drink maybe 2-3 drinks on a day I drink a lot, that couple drinks ruins any chance of productive studies. Zero drinks today, just wasn't focused/disciplined so now I'm reading a bit quickly and giving myself s**t in this thread in order to get this off my mind and onto "paper," so I can get better sleep having put it other there vs. just thinking about it and dwelling on it all night instead of sleeping. Stupid, I know, but now I pretty much need to quickly read some stuff and wrap things up for the night and get some rest then read in the morning vs. listen to trump news or whatever other bs, get outta here and grab material, go do work and get out of there early enough to study.. while hoping a potential client doesn't call back and want me to quote his job tmw eve lol. So, of course he will lolol I can schedule it for another day tho.


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goldfish21
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30 Dec 2022, 4:12 am

After 1am now. I at least accomplished some homework. But had I been on it earlier this eve I could have done a Lot.

Ah well, sleep now. A bit more in the AM before work. Then more tmw eve until my brain is mush and I sleeeep I think. Maybe more the next morning etc before any NYE gathering - and if my friend bails and doesn’t wanna come hang with me on NYE for any reason, I’ll just plug away at my assignments.


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goldfish21
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01 Jan 2023, 1:43 am

A bunch more of that today so I haven't finished my homework. :/ I really should do some of the reading now and watch/listen to videos. Even if I don't do the assignments until tmw morning I really should get through the material. It's not difficult stuff, just procrastinating/being distracted. When I get down to reading/watching/typing I tend to bang it off pretty quick and wonder why I let myself get sidetracked for hours accomplishing not much of anything, really. Dumb.

But w/e, not the end of the world if I don't complete it Today. I can read/watch and then do tmw still w/o dropping behind. Just dumb that that was a goal for today and today is almost over and I haven't worked on it at all. Part of the issue with online classes and how easy it is to tab over to Facebook/wp/news etc vs. stay focused on tabs w/ school material only. This I know about myself.

I guess part of it is the distracted thoughts about the beginnings of a relationship that isn't meant to be more than just friends and I know it. But still, life happens, still have studies to complete so I'm annoyed with myself that I haven't done any of it tdy even though I've been home all day not doing much of anything but reading useless crap, eating and drinking etc.


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goldfish21
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01 Jan 2023, 3:59 am

Nope, got zero done and it's almost 1am now soooo gonna go to sleep soon and do homework tmw morning I guess.

I Did at least get into a productive argument/discussion with my friend that clearly doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. (In the grand scheme I'll be dodging serious bullets if I'm being honest with myself) Cleared the air on a few things, got him to admit some things, realize others about his inconsistency in thoughts/actions/behaviours etc and that much of it is related to his drug use/lifestyle. Gets a lot of distractions off my mind at once and forces him to learn some things. I let him know I truly hope he gets back to sobriety and health and that we can be friends and in each others lives - we just both know a relationship isn't going to work between us.

Some things are still clear as mud as to how they came about and why polar opposite things have been said and done.. but really, looking to make sense of what someone says when they've been on drugs for so long is probably stupid on my part. Bottom line remains the bottom line: They know they don't want to date me and I accept that even IF their words and actions have indicated otherwise in the very recent past.

Blah blah blah, hopefully having those conversations tonight (text and phone call and more text) will result in me being more focused on things I need to get done vs. having these back burner thoughts nagging at me.


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kraftiekortie
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01 Jan 2023, 5:06 am

I feel like you dodged a bullet, actually……especially if you stick to your guns.

As for procrastination: it’s my middle name.



goldfish21
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01 Jan 2023, 12:20 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I feel like you dodged a bullet, actually……especially if you stick to your guns.

As for procrastination: it’s my middle name.

I know I did, even if I'm very attracted to him. His flip flopping on pretty major (potential relationship) issues is just way too much to deal with, never mind the other 98347493874 bullets. After things he's said, I can only be a caring supportive friend to him and wish him well getting healthier and back on track with life, but I can't date him even if he changed his mind and said something else. Definitive closure like that is a good thing, IMO.

I'd Like to get to the beach this afternoon for NYD stuff as is tradition + there's likely going to be some LOL drama
I've been informed about, but I dunno if I'll be able to get nearly enough homework done in a few hours or so to be able to justify going. :/ Might just stick around home and tackle my assignments.


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goldfish21
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01 Jan 2023, 3:14 pm

Finished an assignment!

But strangely it shows I haven’t done 3 points worth of work for that module, but doesn’t indicate what’s missing. Same for a few past module assignments - says I’m missing some marks worth of work that’s incomplete but doesn’t say what.

I’m gonna zip off to the beach for New Year’s Day traditional visits and get back to homework this eve. After I complete everything I can I’ll email some tech support lady for the course and ask how I can find out what’s missing so I can catch it all up. Seems odd that things are extremely well organized but it can say you’re missing 3 marks out of X worth of assignment submissions for a module and not tell you what’s not been completed fully..


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goldfish21
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02 Jan 2023, 8:32 pm

Completed one assignment yesterday then went to the beach for NYD traditional visit and potluck and massive bonfire. Ended up staying until after 10pm, had a few beers, didn't smoke anything, had a bunch of good visits, listened to music, the fires were super hot, had a good chat with one of the guys who's literally lived at the beach and in the forest for the last 7 years etc. Told myself I'd do school work all day today.. so far I have not and it's 5:30pm. BUT, there's still time to read, watch vids, and bang off another assignment or two+ before I go to sleep tonight if I'm able to just dive into it and focus on getting it done.

Then there are a few confusing things on the course overview portal page.. showing that some things are incomplete, like 98% complete on one module 59/60 things complete - but no indication of what one mark thing is missing ?? Same for other modules saying 3 marks incomplete - but doesn't say what ?? I'm gonna have to complete what I Can and then email the tech people this week that admin the course and online portal and ask if they're able to tell me what's incomplete so I can complete it. Doesn't make sense that they display Something is missing but don't say what ?? Odd for something that is otherwise extremely well organized.


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goldfish21
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03 Jan 2023, 12:21 pm

Managed to get through the reading and videos for another module last night. Read over the assignment but didn’t do it yet. It’s really not that complicated. If I focus this early eve I can probably finish it in an hour and move on to reading the next module etc.

That’s the plan, anyways. Biggest thing is being so easily distracted by clicking over to Facebook or wp or messenger messages - none of which matter much to anything in my life; they’re just addictions/distractions I need to break the automatic habit of burning time on for no good reason.


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kraftiekortie
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03 Jan 2023, 12:26 pm

You’re taking up business or something?



goldfish21
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03 Jan 2023, 1:52 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
You’re taking up business or something?

I already have a business school education.

I work for myself as a tradesman/contractor if that’s what you mean.

I’m taking a course & a bunch of certifications along with it as an entry into film set construction because for a clock punching job building things it’s about the best paying gig in the city. Overtime daily, catered meals etc.


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kraftiekortie
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03 Jan 2023, 2:19 pm

I actually should have figured that.



Jakki
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03 Jan 2023, 3:23 pm

Think your doing pretty well for the not being able to focus issue, sounds
like you are aware of all the issues to address your studies ..Sometimes if you have a partner it can be assumed when your trying to get educated on a particular trade or line of study , there will be sacrifices that have to be addressed . :| ... (Might offer) if you decide to stop use of any substance that provides the relief you might get from
medibles , or from use as entertainment value , Often have found there is almost always a period of recovery.
For me it can take up to several days even with clean living and lots of water .
To allow the brain to change into abject focus on a task mode, especially in the education arena . Personally took a break during my entire Nursing refresher course. .. But certainly there maybe a age and ability to recover thing going on for you . (That was not my situation at the time i went back to school.) :roll:
[[Best Wishes on your upcoming Interveiw for that job]]]And the catered food on the sets is of VERY Good quality !
Based on Disney Outdoor set for "The North and South" civil War movie , i worked on . North of the San Fernando Valley in the Aqua Dulce canyon area. Lovely scenic area . CHEERS.


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goldfish21
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05 Jan 2023, 12:52 am

Went to a tanning place this early eve for the wintertime vitamin D that helps with focus. Didn't really end up getting actually into school work until like an hour ago, but, in that hour I banged off all the assignments for another module - so that's good.

2 more to complete before tmw night at Midnight. Gonna do the reading now, maybe some video watching, and probably assignments tmw.

Then I gotta go back over the previous ones and complete anything that's obviously missing and then email the tech admin lady to find out what else is missing.. super well organized Except for that - says 59/60 98% complete but doesn't say what 1 mark thing isn't complete sooo ?? Whatever; there's still time to do it but life IS busy.

Didn't help any that I've had a sore lower back and some crap I did yesterday made it worse - oops. Ah well - did some things to hopefully fix that and move forward.

I have some actual work to do tmw, but if I go in the Morning and Focus on it (physical work) I think I can finish it in 4 hours. 5 if I'm slow af/other people are in my way etc but really the only work I Have To complete tmw for that job side will take an hour or so I just don't wanna drive an hour each way to do stuff when I can get 4h or so work done and then maybe don't go there the next day kind of thing.


blah blah blah adhd but when I Do get down to work I get things done pretty quickly And my assignments are likely to get good grades. It's an interesting thing doing online classes.. I've never done something like this before and wondered if focus and things would be an issue. Kinda. But I know they are so I'm coping. Makes me wonder if I can force myself to just close all apps/tabs that have nothing to do with school and focus only on school stuff and get things done faster. I mean, probably.. but as it is I end up re-opening tabs and checking stupid useless thread convos or scrolling memes for a bit/chatting with a friend. Dumb, I know, but I'm being honest that that's what I've been doing. Just writing it might make me more accountable to myself and try to be more disciplined.


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goldfish21
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05 Jan 2023, 2:26 am

Damn, there's a lot of 5-10 min audio or video clips in this module.. wish I started listening to this stuff hours ago. I mean, at least I am now.. but still - it's getting late now. Stupid.


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goldfish21
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05 Jan 2023, 3:19 am

lol I thought I had 2 more full modules to do before tmw night so just blasted through one.. it had a lot of audio/vids to listen to, so I opened another tab and did the reading while the audio was playing - cutting the info absorption time way down. (This is simple stuff about tools & materials on a film set construction area, not exactly rocket surgery.)

Anyways, blasted through the module, completed the quiz and assignment and submitted it.. checked for the next module annnnd since they're not assigned in sequential order, I'd already completed the next one a couple weeks back.

So I'm pretty well all caught up now with the exception of a few really minor things I can go click through tmw or whenever, and then I've gotta email to find out about some marks that say they're missing - could be glitches like a 0.5/1 mark that was assigned on this module because there's a glitch in the online quiz that doesn't show the last drop down menu to select from for this matching exercise.. maybe the only things missing are glitches - that'd be Ok.

Also, even though no one is reading this and no one cares lolol I thought it was interesting that one of the sample documents, a "start pack," document, was from a show that my cousin was the production manager for while it ran on Netflix. Just kinda neat to see that when I opened the pdf.


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