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I Need My Friends

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Kitty4670
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31 Dec 2022, 8:24 pm

I want to quit life, it’s TOOOOO HARD. Right now, I’m overwhelmed, really hating myself & feeling like I’m a very immature teenager that is sooooo scared. I feel so alone with no help, my friend been helping me clean my apartment & other stuff,she couldn’t help me for two weeks cuz of the holidays, she can’t come next week cuz her birthday. I feel sooo emotional, crying, wishing I was dead. I feel NOT responsible enough, I’m sooo overwhelmed, I feel like I have nobody, I know I have friends & family, but my family don’t understand, my cousin don’t want to believe me, she thinks I’m letting my Aspergers take over my life. I feel soooo low, I feel SO STUPID. All I want to do is die.



UncannyDanny
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31 Dec 2022, 8:28 pm

Welcome to MY world. :roll:

Looks like you REALLY need someone to talk to. :o



Rossall
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05 Jan 2023, 10:24 pm

Hope you're feeling better now kitty.


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Interests: music (especially 80s), computers, electronics, amateur radio, soccer (Liverpool).


playgroundlover22695
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11 Jan 2023, 11:16 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
I want to quit life, it’s TOOOOO HARD. Right now, I’m overwhelmed, really hating myself & feeling like I’m a very immature teenager that is sooooo scared. I feel so alone with no help, my friend been helping me clean my apartment & other stuff,she couldn’t help me for two weeks cuz of the holidays, she can’t come next week cuz her birthday. I feel sooo emotional, crying, wishing I was dead. I feel NOT responsible enough, I’m sooo overwhelmed, I feel like I have nobody, I know I have friends & family, but my family don’t understand, my cousin don’t want to believe me, she thinks I’m letting my Aspergers take over my life. I feel soooo low, I feel SO STUPID. All I want to do is die.


I know exactly what you're going through. Almost everyday I have at least one suicidal ideation. My friends don't want me anymore except for one. I don't date anyone because I'm so afraid of rejection and the pain of a future breakup. I told a supposed close friend about my problems and then she said a few days later that nobody is my friend. She also said that my family is all going to die soon if I act weak and cry. Knowing that I have no one who loves me intimately beyond my parents and my memmere is devastating. I keep talking myself out of suicide both because I'm scared of death and my parents would be crushed by it. I don't know what to do. One thing I do know though is that we aspies have to stick together and help each other. Feel free to PM me if you want someone to talk to.



Kitty4670
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17 Jan 2023, 2:53 am

I’m not doing good. When someone help me with my apartment cleaning, taking out the trash, or helping me change my light bulb, helping me with other stuff, I can be happy that people care, but not the people I paid to clean my apartment or my caregiver when I broke my ankle, she said she cares & love me, right! :lol: She only cared about me because I was paying her. When people leave that are doing things for free, I get so upset at myself, I get sooooo overwhelmed, I want to die, cuz I have to do everything myself, that is toooooo much, I become sooo emotional & cry ALOT. Last week, I got soooo upset at myself, I got very very bad pain in my lower abdominal. Today, I got so upset, I was crying toooo much, I was coughing, I was choking, I threw up. I really hate how I’m feeling now, I’m depressed, good thing it’s bedtime.



playgroundlover22695
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17 Jan 2023, 9:43 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
I’m not doing good. When someone help me with my apartment cleaning, taking out the trash, or helping me change my light bulb, helping me with other stuff, I can be happy that people care, but not the people I paid to clean my apartment or my caregiver when I broke my ankle, she said she cares & love me, right! :lol: She only cared about me because I was paying her. When people leave that are doing things for free, I get so upset at myself, I get sooooo overwhelmed, I want to die, cuz I have to do everything myself, that is toooooo much, I become sooo emotional & cry ALOT. Last week, I got soooo upset at myself, I got very very bad pain in my lower abdominal. Today, I got so upset, I was crying toooo much, I was coughing, I was choking, I threw up. I really hate how I’m feeling now, I’m depressed, good thing it’s bedtime.


I'm really sorry you're going through all of this. When I get really upset, I get stomach pains as well. I don't vomit though. I just cough while I'm crying and then the next day, I wake up early with cramping and a lot of anxiety. I don't have any housekeepers that I pay to do anything, but my dad has to hold down the fort while I'm at work all day. This included doing laundry, vacuuming, mowing the lawn, raking leaves, and fixing things around the house. I often wonder how I'm going to manage all of this after he's gone. Sometimes these thoughts make me feel very overwhelmed, so in some ways, I understand exactly how you feel. :(