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Rocket123
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05 Jan 2023, 1:02 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:
I have been a regular on this site for almost a decade now. Doubting ones own professional diagnosis is fairly common.

You always have a right to seek a second opinion. You should discuss your doubts clinician who diagnosed you.


I was diagnosed at 50 with Asperger's. I am married with 2 kids and work in the tech industry. I too doubted my professional diagnosis. At the time, I posted a bit on WP, writing about these doubts. After about a year, I decided to get a second opinion. After several months of therapy, the psychologist confirmed that I qualified for the diagnostic criteria for Asperger's (per DSM-IV).



ToughDiamond
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05 Jan 2023, 1:43 am

My GP warned me that even after a DX I still wouldn't know for sure. But the balance of probabilities shifted quite a lot, and even more so when my past and present behaviour started to make more sense in the light of ASD. So I still don't know, but the doubt feels negligible. It'll certainly do for a strong working theory. Like the working theory that I'm not dreaming right now.



Hawthorn
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05 Jan 2023, 3:50 am

Thanks for all the replies, it’s definitely reassuring to hear other people’s experiences following diagnosis.

I also think I didn’t express myself particularly well and came off like I was saying that you couldn’t be successful with ASD. That’s definitely not what I was trying to convey, I was trying to express the lack of representation of people with ASD in positions like mine in the literature that I’ve read; however, it’s clear that is unfounded and the responses here help to prove that.

Certainly the discussion about masking behaviours has been helpful too. The move to much more home working since Covid has been particularly beneficial for me, and when I’m not presented with situations I find challenging as regularly because I’m at home in my study, I think my doubts about my diagnosis come to the fore.

During the process of diagnosis I expressed my concerns about fixing the system to the assessors and deliberately avoided reading about the condition for the 2 years before my assessment for that reason. So I know I’m being irrational… not that that stops the thoughts!



skibum
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05 Jan 2023, 9:57 am

What is your profession?


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kraftiekortie
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05 Jan 2023, 10:09 am

Imagine if Autism Spectrum Disorder had more objective criteria?

It doesn't----so the diagnosis will always be imperfect. There's nothing we could do about that until the criteria become more objective.



Hawthorn
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05 Jan 2023, 1:47 pm

skibum wrote:
What is your profession?


Data Science, I work in financial services.



SharonB
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06 Jan 2023, 10:29 pm

Interesting.

I recently moved into Financial Services. I data mine, which also provides SME-dom. I am successful (although I remain wracked by insecurity as are many "achievers"). Wholistically I am as successful as my peers, although intersectionality lessened my professional ... everything.

In my old company I masked heavily as that was the culture - toxic as all. In my new company, I a more often explain in advance (I am the gatherer of extraordinary amounts of information) or make light fun of/repair a misunderstanding or mistake (when I introduce myself to you the fourth time...). To a few close coworkers, I have mentioned that I am neurodivergent (but not what type... yet).

Welcome on this part of the journey with yet another perspective...



Elgee
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08 Jan 2023, 7:08 pm

To the OP:

I've felt the same way, though I referred to it as "not feeling autistic enough."

I got my dx 10 months ago. I've had only one meltdown: preschool age in response to noise. I've never had a shutdown. I've never had a burnout (because apparently, risk of burnout has a linear association to extent of masking -- and I've never masked beyond just slightly).

I also keep thinking that some of my traits were developed in response to the environment I grew up in.

But I have to keep reassuring myself that I AM autistic -- by using some tricks up my sleeve -- and perhaps they will help you.

1) What traits or features do you have that ONLY autism can explain? In my case it's stimming (a LOT including rocking), hyperfixated interests, avoidance of small-talk, tendency towards literal thinking, extensive (and I' mean EXTENSIVE) rehearsing in my head of anticipated interactions with people, which include the use of imaginary or "sample" people), preference for sameness, need to always plan, odd AF sensory issues. No other diagnosis explains all of these. Neither does being picked on by teachers in high school or made fun of by classmates in grade school and high school.

2) Invest in insight therapy. Have a list of questions ready. I had teleconferences with a psych who was with the clinic I got my dx from. I asked her straight out what about me, as we interacted, might indicate autism. She said that whenever we began our sessions, I never engaged in small-talk, and instead I dove right in. She also said that I was pretty matter-of-fact with everything and almost had a flat affect.



Mona Pereth
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08 Jan 2023, 7:44 pm

Autism is not one single condition. It is a broad category. Autism is just a modern label for a set of particular kinds of traits. The exact definition is arbitrary and somewhat subjective.

So I would suggest not worrying too much about the technicalities. The important question is whether it helps you make sense of your life.


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skibum
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08 Jan 2023, 8:33 pm

Hawthorn wrote:
skibum wrote:
What is your profession?


Data Science, I work in financial services.
I think that kind of profession is full of Autistic people. I can't think of people who would be better suited for it.


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keengkong
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24 Feb 2023, 6:42 pm

I can't comment on whether your diagnosis is accurate or not. But I do believe that it's normal for a person who doesn't have severe symptoms to feel a little out of place saying that he or she has autism, knowing that it's so much more severe in many cases. But that's true of many disorders. I have cancer. Yet my chances of dying of it are minimal, according to my doctors. I suspect you have a real disorder simply because you were so diagnosed.


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25 Feb 2023, 9:38 am

When one's life is structured in such a way they may not feel or appear Autistic. Take away those supports and ah-ha - Autistic!! !! ! For example a person working with their special interest (e.g. data) without children or with another person as primary caregiver for their children versus a person in a profession with multiple or social demands or the primary caregiver for their children. I am "not" Autistic when I am at the Bank doing my spreadsheets, but I am Autistic taking my two children to the city with their friends for outdoor ice skating. :twisted:



skibum
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25 Feb 2023, 1:37 pm

SharonB wrote:
When one's life is structured in such a way they may not feel or appear Autistic. Take away those supports and ah-ha - Autistic!! ! ! ! For example a person working with their special interest (e.g. data) without children or with another person as primary caregiver for their children versus a person in a profession with multiple or social demands or the primary caregiver for their children. I am "not" Autistic when I am at the Bank doing my spreadsheets, but I am Autistic taking my two children to the city with their friends for outdoor ice skating. :twisted:
Exactly. My Autism doesn't show when I am out kayaking on the lake or teaching kayaking. Nor does it show when I am skiing on an empty, quiet mountain. But if you put me in an environment that is even the least bit stressful for my brain, it's like Jekyll and Hyde. My Autism will show like nobody's business.


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26 Feb 2023, 1:41 pm

When you received your diagnosis, did you think, wow, that explains everything?

That was my experience and the experience of many people who receive a diagnosis of ASD as an adult.



skibum
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26 Feb 2023, 1:48 pm

rse92 wrote:
When you received your diagnosis, did you think, wow, that explains everything?

That was my experience and the experience of many people who receive a diagnosis of ASD as an adult.
I felt that way as well. It is a sense of validation and finally having everything in your life make sense. When I discovered that I was Autistic, it was the very first time I ever felt those feelings.


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