I want to die so badly right now.

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lostonearth35
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10 Jan 2023, 2:44 pm

I just want to take a nice long hot bath and then cut open my wrists and bleed to death. The whole world had driven me insane. I can't take it anymore. I've turned into a demented sociopath and since being forced back into a home or the hospital is worse than dying I have no reason to go on living. But what am I going to tell my mother? She'll be devastated and suffer as a result. If only she and could die as well, then she wouldn't have to suffer. But I could never harm my mother, I only need to harm myself. If there's a heaven she'll go there, but I'll go to hell. But I'm already in hell so I'm not afraid of that. I'm afraid of there being nothing. Like you've never existed at all. You're nothing but worm food.

If I hear the phrase "thoughts and prayers" one more time I will... I already spent the whole night screaming. Maybe I'll pray to die peacefully in my sleep. Of course I won't be driving a car with other people in it since I'm a complete failure.



Misslizard
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10 Jan 2023, 5:33 pm

Sorry.
I won’t give you useless platitudes like “ Hang in there, it’ll get better,”
Because I have no idea if it will and I hate it when people do that.
Just hope your ok.


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Where_am_I
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11 Jan 2023, 4:40 pm

Hope you're doing ok, lostonearth35. Please keep chatting to us here on WP, if it helps.

*Hugs*


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AprilR
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12 Jan 2023, 10:39 am

I hope you are okay also. And feel free to chat with me too.



ThisTimelessMoment
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12 Jan 2023, 12:25 pm

Hi. Just seen this.

I hope you are still with us.
There is no way to end your life without passing your pain on to those who love you.
I know how f@#king terrible things can be. But passing it on is worse.
If you just manage to keep breathing, things will change. They always do. Nothing can last forever. I know that sounds trite. And you've probably heard it before. But it's true.

I hope you feel better soon. I know this community values your existence. That is worth something.


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Kitty4670
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20 Jan 2023, 4:25 am

I know how you feel. There no reason I should live, I have a cat, she needs me & I need her, but I don’t know how to go on, my mom in heaven & my grandma too, in June, my mom would be gone for 10 years, life is not same without her.



klanka
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21 Jan 2023, 2:00 pm

Sorry to hear you are feeling like that



Mountain Goat
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21 Jan 2023, 2:28 pm

Remember that you are loved and are a lovely person.


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