Is it common for aspies to smile when nervous?

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catpiecakebutter
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10 Jan 2023, 4:00 pm

I smile when I'm nervous and I guess I do it to feel better but I know it looks strange.



Joe90
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10 Jan 2023, 4:22 pm

I used to wear a grin when nervous. I don't do it so much now. Now I just mumble or stutter when nervous (I don't stutter too noticeably but enough to know I do it sometimes).


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rse92
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10 Jan 2023, 4:26 pm

It's called inappropriate affect, and I am guilty of it, at least when my wife tells me something she thinks is sad or horrible and then says "that's not funny!" I have to tell her no its not funny, and I feel terrible, but I just cannot help it.



arrec63
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10 Jan 2023, 6:13 pm

I don't know if it's common or not, but I definitely have this problem. I'm also cursed with the tendency to laugh when I feel uncomfortable or want to cry. It's made quite a few awkward situations in my life



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10 Jan 2023, 6:38 pm

I know someone (an NT) who had uncontrollable laughter at a funeral once. It was a very awkward and embarrassing situation, and some people didn't take too kindly to it. But she wasn't being heartless, she just got a mixture of grieving and nerves.

So I suppose it can happen to NTs too.


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10 Jan 2023, 6:46 pm

It's not just an Asperger's thing.


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arrec63
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10 Jan 2023, 7:31 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I know someone (an NT) who had uncontrollable laughter at a funeral once. It was a very awkward and embarrassing situation, and some people didn't take too kindly to it. But she wasn't being heartless, she just got a mixture of grieving and nerves.

So I suppose it can happen to NTs too.


Yeah, it's unfortunately a regular occurrence for me. I promise I don't find pain or suffering funny, there's just something about my brain that makes me default to laughter in the face of strong emotion.

One time I was breaking up with a girl, and she started grabbing at me, crying and begging me not to leave. I felt so uncomfortable and confused, so of course the second I tried to speak I broke out into uncontrollable laughter. Luckily she knew me pretty well at that point and understood what was going on when I explained, but it was still beyond awkward.

Another time I called a crisis hotline because I was in a bad headspace. The lady on the phone assumed I was on something because I couldn't explain what was happening without cackling like the joker. The police came because I was a danger to myself, and it took me a solid ten minutes or so to reassure them that despite what the lady on the phone said, that no, I haven't taken any mind altering substances, and that yes, I am taking this seriously.



Joe90
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10 Jan 2023, 7:48 pm

^ Reminds me of a time when I was at school in English class. We all had to read out our paper in front of the class, and I was pretty nervous about it. When it was my turn I started to read but then I broke out in fits of laughter and the teacher made me sit down before I'd finished reading my paper - but she wasn't mad or anything, I think she understood that it was just nerves, but the other kids didn't, although they didn't make fun of me for it, they just thought it was funny.


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11 Jan 2023, 2:52 am

Joe90 wrote:
I know someone (an NT) who had uncontrollable laughter at a funeral once. It was a very awkward and embarrassing situation, and some people didn't take too kindly to it. But she wasn't being heartless, she just got a mixture of grieving and nerves.

So I suppose it can happen to NTs too.


It happens often to my sister who is very much an NT.

It happens to me as well. Once I accidentally spilled coffee all over my boss's white shirt. 8O After a moment of shock I burst into laughter. She said that I would have fired you for laughing but I understand that you felt awkward and that's how you reacted. So, I guess NT's understand such behaviour too.



Garthilium
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11 Jan 2023, 4:45 pm

when I was younger I would smile when in trouble due to being nervous and that would lead to further trouble.



dragonsanddemons
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11 Jan 2023, 5:20 pm

In my experience, a fair number of NTs are prone to smiling/laughing when nervous or uncomfortable as well. Not something that really happens to me, but something I’ve noticed in others.


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12 Jan 2023, 1:12 am

I don't think I smile when I'm nervous but I've often laughed. It seems to discharge some of the anxiety and I use it as a coping strategy to help me stay sane. I guess it gives me courage. I don't usually laugh when other people are anxious, but I suspect I learned to adopt a more appropriate demeanour for that a long time ago. I've occasionally laughed when somebody or other has showed anger towards me, which is OK if the anger is somewhat unjustified and maybe serves to fob them off with what they deserve for failing to have a bit more patience, but not so OK if it's a friend who has just cause for their anger. In such a case as that, again I think I've learned to curb my response.

It's somewhat complicated because I was subjected to a ridiculous amount of anger when I was a child (a certain parent who would blow up into a rage at the drop of a hat), so during my early adulthood it would put my back up whenever anybody got angry with me, and it took me a long time to learn to act more appropriately instead of trying to carry on the unfinished business of my childhood.

Personally I dislike it when another person smiles when they're not happy - I guess it's because they're sending a confusing message when I need simple clarity to deal with a serious and often difficult situation, and it kind of smacks of dishonesty, although it's not necessarily that at all.



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12 Jan 2023, 4:43 am

Sometimes smile when being told off and I did not even know I was until the person gets really angry because I smiled, but that is not quite the same.
Yes, sometimes smile when nurvous or I say silly things which I think "Why did I say that?" after the event...
But what do "Normal" people do? I mean... When an average person gets nurvous. Do they do the same?
This is the question to ask, as some aspects may be related to the spectrum, but others may be related to just being human, and still some other aspects may relate to each and every individual! We don't know what is normal and what is not. We may know that those on the spectrum may be far more likely to be nurvous, but this in itself does not mean the person will smile. Some may look terrified! Some may show no emotion at all! (And I am not just talking about those on the spectrum!)

Never forget someone ask me on a really stressed day in work why I wasn't stressed? Why it did not effect me. I told them I was highly stressed and I was puzzled why they said it. Aparently there were no outward signs! And yet I was having partial shutdowns and while I managed to hide the full shutdowns as when I was on the floor pulling out of one and someone saw me I said I was looking for a washer I had dropped (As the last thing one would want is someone to call an ambulance or something!) and the person just thought I was doing that! (Phew!) But seriously, it came as a shock to find that I showed no outward signs! Yet my family who really know me know when I am stressed. But I wonder if I act differently because they are family and I am not masking? Maybe the masking hides the emotions? (Actually masking does hide my emotions as I remember times when outwardly I put on a happy jolly person while inside I can be the complete opposite, and putting on this mask hides vunerability).


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Joe90
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12 Jan 2023, 6:06 am

Nervous, not nurvous.


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rse92
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12 Jan 2023, 11:40 am



Caz72
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12 Jan 2023, 4:31 pm

i dont smile much

and i dont get nervous socially


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