Finding it tough to deal with an unreliable friend

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I have known this person for many years - probably 25 years now - and she has never been so tough to deal with until lately. Along the way, throughout our friendship, there have been red flags about how selfish and harsh she can be, but generally, these have been few and far between.
Being diagnosed with ASD, I find that sometimes 'red flags' take a while for me to pick up on, think about and then act on.
But lately, the red flags have been there and massively obvious. I was her lodger a few years ago after being made homeless, and to start with me and her had a blast. Then, two months in, she went cold on me. Went up to her room most days and avoided me. Then, after three months, she told me she didn't want to live with anyone. Obviously, I had it out with her, stayed a while longer and then left.
Recently, she text me out of the blue to say she was moving in with her boyfriend, and would me and my family like to rent her house. My partner and me both know that we couldn't entirely trust this and not to put our eggs in the one basket, but we said yes in the hopes she would come through for us.
Nope. When I text her a couple of times (finally getting a response), she changed her mind. Said she didn't want to live with anyone. Her message was tailored to try and extract sympathy from me.
Despite the disappointment, my family and me are now looking around for other houses. However, for some reason, I feel guilty for not texting my 'friend' back. I just wonder, though - if I hadn't persevered texting her, how long would it have taken her to say anything?
A bit more background on this 'friend': she has derogatory nicknames for her friends behind their backs (including me). She is selfish and relies heavily still on her mum and dad (she's nearly 40). She has never lived with anyone except her parents and then for a brief time, me. If you tell her a problem, she laughs in your face. Her friend once told her that her dad had cancer, and she laughed.
I think I am holding on to this friend for nostalgia's sake, but I just want to know what you think about it. How do I let go - ghosting or something?

Firstly I think this is in the wrong section and should be under social skills and making friends. Although they should just call it friends. But that's not the issue there.

I would honestly just be blunt to her and tell the truth as I would rather have that than just being ghosted. Then I would block her. But at least she has closure if she needed it.

No need to block her immediately. I would suggest gently but clearly confronting her with your issues, then have a little back and forth about them if she wants, and then just let things fizzle out naturally. Or maybe block her later if she persists in pestering you.

Some red flags there.
Q. Is your friend on the spectrum?
Q. Is her nicknames mean't in jest or malice?

It's quite common for autists to ghost people (I've had contact with a few autists, and it was quite confusing at the beginning). Though it's not necessarily done on purpose. So yea, just ghost her and if she asks why tell her you're autistic.

Your friend sounds mentally ill btw. Or maybe a sort of personality disorder. But if it causes stress to you, then you can't help her.

I also had to ghost a once very good friend because he is a notorious liar. While I was more tolerant of his lies as a young adult, the older I got the more annoying and stressful I found it. Also kinda sucks when you have to assume every word your friend says is a lie. Or when he tries to invite you to have sex with his favorite escort ladies, while he's married and has children. Poor woman who has to deal with him.

She honestly sounds like she can be a difficult person to deal with if not wishy-washy. She also sounds like she is quite immature for her age in regards to her laughing and derogatory names like that and especially to her friends. She reminds me of a friend who I used to have a crush on during middle and high school. From what I understand, he would gossip about everyone, including his friends and his girlfriend. He would also blurt out inappropriate comments and then laugh about it. For example, he would laugh about throwing up earlier.

She also reminds me of another friend who I met through a young adult autism program we were on good terms in the beginning but we started having problems later on when she left me at the bottom of her list but jerked me around about being her "Best friend." Anyway, she made several promises to me and then broke them as there was always an excuse.

As for what to say to her, I would be assertive with her in telling her how you feeling and what you didn't like. Te;; jer that you feel like you may need a break from her or maybe feel that it isn't working out to be friends anymore.

Laughing about your friends dad having cancer sounds like more than just being immature. I think there may be a severe mental illness or personality disorder behind that laugh. Maybe it's a way to protect herself from emotions or something.

I think it's not unusual that autists attract such people (people with mental illness, disorders, etc.). Or that autists feel more comfortable around such people, rather than around normies.