Am I missing out on life if I don't lots of friends ?

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chris1989
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14 Jan 2023, 1:04 pm

One of the things I've probably touched upon is that I seem to think I should have a large group of friends that I seem to think everyone else has and gone out with them a lot, had parties with them deep into the night, gone on holiday with them somewhere, etc and that if you don't have those types of people in your life then its as though you are considered to be ''dull'' and ''boring'' and haven't got a ''great life'' and that you missing out on life by not having those people your life.



kraftiekortie
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14 Jan 2023, 1:07 pm

I don’t have a large group of friends.

I’m not “missing out” on life.

Quality trumps quantity any day.



autisticelders
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14 Jan 2023, 4:40 pm

I have only a couple who live very far away and almost no contact with 'family" I have to say most of the time I don't mind and I don't miss them. You don't "have to" have lots of friends, an "important relationship" or other social standards of interaction in order to live a good and healthy life.


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AprilR
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15 Jan 2023, 12:12 pm

I also feel the same, but there is no helping not having many friends.



Summer_Twilight
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15 Jan 2023, 7:11 pm

chris1989 wrote:
One of the things I've probably touched upon is that I seem to think I should have a large group of friends that I seem to think everyone else has and gone out with them a lot, had parties with them deep into the night, gone on holiday with them somewhere, etc and that if you don't have those types of people in your life then its as though you are considered to be ''dull'' and ''boring'' and haven't got a ''great life'' and that you missing out on life by not having those people your life.



I don’t think you are missing anything because a lot of those people are superficial and phony. Also, just because one has a large group of people doesn’t mean things are rosy. In fact, there are people within those groups who are outsiders because there can be others within the group who don’t like them or want them around.



Silence23
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16 Jan 2023, 1:29 pm

Well, you will have less opportunities for social activities. So you are missing out on social activities. These became increasingly stressful with age, so I'm not really missing them. There's many solitary activities you can fill your life with. Even solitary travelling, if you don't have the need to be in a familiar environment all the time.

I believe generally it's best to make sure to have at least 1-2 good friends. It could have beneficial effects on your mental health. Though I'm not sure. Still trying to figure it out after not having (online) contact to friends for over a year.

Having offline friends wouldn't be of any use in my case, as I don't want to meet them or participate in any social activity. I also don't want anyone to visit me. So I didn't see them for over 10 years. And my mental health actually got better in the past 10 years. E.g. I'm much less stressed and depression (other than the dysthymia) occurs only rarely. Though the reason for that may be that I stopped working over 10 years ago, so I'm not forced to interact with people anymore.

Though I wouldn't recommend to become a hermit like me :) Humans are "social animals". You too have a "social animal" part in your brain. It's probably best to keep the "visiting friends" activity as a part of your weekly or monthly routine.


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