Do we want ''bad men'' as role models ?

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chris1989
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14 Jan 2023, 2:38 pm

For a while now until these human trafficking allegations were revealed about the social media personality Andrew Tate, I heard about some of the offensive things he has said about women and boasting about young men ''should'' be as strong, proud and work hard and not to be offended by being that type of man who aspires to have this kind of playboy-lifestyle who earns lots of money and gets lots of sex and as a result got a large following on social media and even now still defend and support him even though now.

The thing is, I was brought up to be polite and respectful and taught the difference between right and wrong and good and bad. I always respect a person whether its a man, a woman, or whoever. I always open a door for a lady or let them go first before me. I tend to like to think of myself as gentlemanly. But I seem to think for some other men, that comes across as too soft and too nice and that a woman prefers a man who sometimes ruthless and will use force if necessary and that has made out as though that is what a man ''should'' sometimes be like.



lostonearth35
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14 Jan 2023, 2:54 pm

I think it's stupid and ludicrous that other women are attracted to bad men. At first it used to be just girls crushing on the "rebel" of their school, now they're lusting for literal serial killers.

They "think" that they can either change the bad man, or that the bad man will never harm them, both of which is absolute bull excrement, and then they can't understand get horribly abused or killed. I guess this is victim-blaming, but being stupid and having no logic is the reason too many people become victims.

Lately I've been hearing that being a friendly, kind, polite person is bad, the real world only works for people who are rude, nasty, cruel or just plain violent. And while that may be true, all it's done is gotten me into all kinds of trouble. I'm a woman, so go figure, people still think women have to be the other extreme, all weak and submissive.



Nades
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14 Jan 2023, 3:05 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
I think it's stupid and ludicrous that other women are attracted to bad men. At first it used to be just girls crushing on the "rebel" of their school, now they're lusting for literal serial killers.

They "think" that they can either change the bad man, or that the bad man will never harm them, both of which is absolute bull excrement, and then they can't understand get horribly abused or killed. I guess this is victim-blaming, but being stupid and having no logic is the reason too many people become victims.

Lately I've been hearing that being a friendly, kind, polite person is bad, the real world only works for people who are rude, nasty, cruel or just plain violent. And while that may be true, all it's done is gotten me into all kinds of trouble. I'm a woman, so go figure, people still think women have to be the other extreme, all weak and submissive.


This is not new behaviour. Women lusting over serial killers and sending them fan mail has been going on for as long as serial killers began being sent to prison instead of being executed.

Even Ian Watkins had plenty of female fans after his conviction with some of them having their own kids taken away from them after the prison service and authorities tracked down their fan mail.

Dunno why so many women like "bad boys" but I have no sympathy for any of them.

As for the subject of Tate, I think he was resected because he was so edgy. We live in a day and age where people are afraid to speak for fear of serious social justice being unleashed on them. When someone like Tate comes along and not only pushes everyone's buttons but revels in doing so, he starts to get a lot of respect and what he's saying, even if horrible becomes secondary.



Quantum duck
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14 Jan 2023, 3:16 pm

Everybody wants a pet lion, nobody thinks they are going to get mauled….

I see nothing wrong with aspiring to be rich and have a playboy lifestyle and get lots of sex. That is one choice. As a person who is not naturally monogamous, I see no problem with letting a guy spend a lot of money on you and enjoying having sex with him (I don’t think you should have sex you don’t want in exchange for the money ymmv)

But you are stupid if you think he’s going to settle down and be yours. Or not get tired of you.

I am functionally monogamous because I wanted kids and a stable home and a lifelong partnership and I found a man who I love who also wanted those things and is naturally monogamous and inexplicably fell in love with me and wanted to marry me, and 8 am not stupid enough to f*ck that up.

As for “strong” and “tough” and hardworking - yes. That is not the same as hard and violent. I pinned a raccoon to the side of the barn with a pitchfork. My Dh went to get the shotgun. I want somebody who is capable of calmly and efficiently dispatching the raccoon without experiencing trauma, but not someone who is excited by the idea of getting to kill a raccoon. And I’d like to believe that if I was the one being pinned by the pitchfork he’d be capable of using the shotgun on whomever was holding it. And I’m fine if he throws up and cries afterward. I would.



chris1989
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07 Feb 2023, 4:50 pm

I seem to think some good role models that should be looked into are not just sports-people or business-people but also artists (e.g. Da Vinci, Van Gogh), people who developed cures to save lives (e.g. Edward Jenner), people who were behind computers and the internet (e.g. Alan Turing, Tim Berners-Lee, Steve Jobs), scientists (e.g. Einstein, Stephen Hawking) and writers (e.g. Tolkien, Stephen King, Edgar Allan Poe).