Is it okay to just not have friends?
Can you consisely describe, in words, the specific kinds of "common ground" you most strongly desire?
If so, perhaps you might want to edit your profile to put some of them in your signature, to help you in finding potential friends here on Wrong Planet. Ditto for other online venues you frequent, if you have not done so already.
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Can you consisely describe, in words, the specific kinds of "common ground" you most strongly desire?
If so, perhaps you might want to edit your profile to put some of them in your signature, to help you in finding potential friends here on Wrong Planet. Ditto for other online venues you frequent, if you have not done so already.
Interesting you might ask , see above title:
" Is it okay to just not to have friends" Yes , but Thank you for the suggestion .And yes. it is nice to have a friend
aswell .
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Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
That's a good idea, but how would it help us in real life?
I decided to create the above-mentioned new thread and answer your question there, to avoid taking this current thread further off-topic.
You are full of such good ideas
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FleaOfTheChill
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Age: 309
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Posts: 2,933
Location: I'm stuck in the dryer
Agreed and agreed. I know that I'm fortunate and I'm thankful for it.
I used to figure that people craved interaction more than security for help should it be needed. I mean, things like a shoulder to cry on or a ready ear v/s someone to get them from point a to point b or make them food should they get sick or injured. Seemed to me that the connection aspect was more important to people than the more practical and mundane things. As I get older, I understand now why more mundane things can be just as important to people.
I'm half awake and feel a bit disjointed in thoughts. Short of it, agreed...a support system in place is a good idea and for some people friends would be a good way to have that.
It is ok for some people. It works for some people.
The only thing that matters is, for you, is it worth the cost benefit analysis, or risk versus reward?
For me, "friends" are just not worth the energy they require. Because I am bad at friendships, friendships take a lot more energy, than for some other people. Because I am always exhausted, I don't have enough energy either.
I recently lost a friend after she said something that I didn't believe. She said she had told me many times before, but nope. She hadn't. This was just the last straw, though, in a series of disagreements. When texting her, I would ask a question and if she didn't want to answer it, she'd just change the subject like I hadn't even asked anything. So irritating. Yeah, so that's done.
I have a lovely friend at the Salvos where I volunteer. She's a New Zealander Maori who has a very caring attitude with everyone. I'm only there twice a week but I'm always happy to be there.
So I guess that's it for my friends. I do have a housemate that I'm close to. She used to be my husband!
I had a few friends in elementary school. By the end of elementary school, however, all but one of my friends had moved away. In middle school, the friendship with the one remaining friend fizzled out.
During high school, I would sometimes hang out with neighbor kids. However, they'd likely want nothing to do with me if it weren't for geographic proximity.
Then there were high school classmates I was on friendly terms with at school. However, once again, it's a stretch to say these classmates were friends of mine. During all of high school, I only recall 2 occasions where I got together with a classmate outside of school (same classmate both times). I was largely known as "the kid with no friends" during high school (Which was largely true. When a classmate only cares enough to hang out with you outside of school twice in 4 years, it's pretty safe to say you essentially had no friends in high school)
Freshman year of college, I finally had a friend group. After freshman year, however, the group drifted apart.
For sophomore through senior year of college, I essentially had only one friend.
Ever since graduating college (10 years ago), I haven't had friends.
I have lots of experience with having little to no friends. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with being friendless. I just don't like how society judges us for being friendless.
The only thing that matters is, for you, is it worth the cost benefit analysis, or risk versus reward?
For me, "friends" are just not worth the energy they require. Because I am bad at friendships, friendships take a lot more energy, than for some other people. Because I am always exhausted, I don't have enough energy either.
i get this^^^^ the juice ain't worth the squeeze am afraid .
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Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
I don't have any friends irl. Only some internet friends. Sometimes I feel like I should get more friends and become more sociable but then I just enjoy so much being alone that I don't know what to do.
And anyway sometimes feels like nobody is not interested to be my friend and everyone have other life and friends that they don't have even time to be with me. Idk, what I should do.
My boyfriend has been my only social contact irl and residential coachs which I get 2 times in a week from autism foundation. But then I've been fine with this life and situation but now I've been lonely and wanted to get more friends and someone to talk to.
So my social life is always been quite nonexistent. Only had internet friends. And one reason is that I'm introvert so I've always enjoyed to be more alone but still needed some connection to other people.
It's certainly more peaceful and less stressful. It can have downsides, like lowering connections which can help find work, and running into problems when various jobs or other things (like rentals in tight markets) ask for personal references.
Personally, I think it'd be useful to have a few people - or a group - who can act as each other's 'personal references' for when that kind of thing is demanded.
That does not mean you need a ton of friends, but social isolation is linked to depression.
Do you not have friends because you lack social skills or experienced rejection in the past?
What is that balance between being drained by friends and benefitting from social connections?
That's mostly on NT test subjects, i don't know that we can automatically extend that to ND folks that may not have any interest in friends or are actively stressed by social interaction. There's also the issue of selection bias as those with friends are probably already healthier at they're it and about
Really, as long as we've got somebody to look in on us in our old she and you can get the house fixed and yourself fed, I fail to see why anybody has to have friends.
That does not mean you need a ton of friends, but social isolation is linked to depression.
Do you not have friends because you lack social skills or experienced rejection in the past?
What is that balance between being drained by friends and benefitting from social connections?
That's mostly on NT test subjects, i don't know that we can automatically extend that to ND folks that may not have any interest in friends or are actively stressed by social interaction. There's also the issue of selection bias as those with friends are probably already healthier at they're it and about
Really, as long as we've got somebody to look in on us in our old she and you can get the house fixed and yourself fed, I fail to see why anybody has to have friends.
That's a big fat "as long as".
Personally, I think it'd be useful to have a few people - or a group - who can act as each other's 'personal references' for when that kind of thing is demanded.
Good point when you say being friendless is more peaceful/less stressful.
There's a misconception that people on the spectrum are annoying (and that's why a lot of us are friendless). In many cases, however, it's the other way around: We find the outside world annoying.
Come to think of it, the outside world might find us annoying too. But if we're not interested in being their friend anyway, what does it matter?
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