How To Get A Girlfriend If You're An Autistic Man

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You could as well claim that body composition is determined in early childhood and nothing can be done once you're an adult...

The best thing to do, really.....is not to determine "why."

It's better to determine "how."

You need poor communication skills to be diagnosed with autism, it's that simple.

How many times have you said social skills too?

Many people with autism have the cognitive ability to improve from what they have been "given" by nature.

If I didn't set out to "improve," I probably would be in an institution at this point.

I think most people who are aware of their own autism have mostly ironed out as many creases as they can by the time they reach their mid 20s.

You'd be surprised.
I had a personal breakthrought in my early 30s. My mother developed a lot personally in her 50s and early 60s.

Even if that were 100% true, despite likely being more common than not, that still doesn't preclude the possibility that said social skills can in fact be improved with overt intentional action on the part of the individual.

As I said, many people on here have rather good social skills. Are they not autistic?



I love the way you keep starting statements with "I think", but treating them like facts, as members roll in to disagree with personal experiences.

Tell me again how I'm invalidating, while you continue to argue with actual people's actual experiences, based on what "you think".

My brother didn't have poor communication skills as a kid at all, but he's somehow gotten a diagnosis of Asperger's recently. He was shy and lacked self-esteem, yes, but he still managed to fit in with the popular kids at school from a young age, and they were good friends as well. And he wasn't even into sports, but still somehow fitted in. There was always friends of my brother's at our house, and he was always out, doing normal kid things (building dens when they were younger, playing imaginary games, riding their bikes, etc), then as a teenager he was always out with a large group of friends. He didn't exhibit other autism symptoms either, like sensory issues or dislike change of routine or have restricted interests. I'd know, because I was close to him growing up, and being so I got a diagnosis so young I probably would have known if he had it too, or my parents would have.

So I suppose anything goes these days, the most popular extroverted NT you know could be autistic but is so excellent at masking that they've succeeded socially from like 3 years old.

I know autism shouldn't be measured by how many friends one has, but being so autism is a communication disorder it will inevitably affect one's social life in some sort of way. My social skills aren't bad at all, even as a kid I wasn't terrible at social things but I've still been unable to make friends with my NT peers.

I had very few friends, didn't really want more than one friend, had lots of trouble socially all through high school. Was bullied, the whole nine yards.

But, slowly, I improved myself to the point where I'm pretty "passable" most of the time, though I sometimes have to reflect upon how I come across.

You only interact with the people here via the internet. You can't make much in a way of interpreting how they interact face to face. Also, many here have not been diagnosed.

The issue I have is you seemed to have appeared on here and immediately made a snide jab to all the males on this thread belittling them for coming up with suggestions like working out (which makes people better looking obviously and gives them a hobby) while also telling them to improve their social skills knowing full well that autisitcs struggle with social skills and by nature of their lifelong developmental disorder, can't really do much to improve them. Certainly not the level of improvement that you're implying at by how *stubborn* you are with your comments.

It's blindingly obvious this isn't much of an option for many autistics so stop being so insulting about it when people bring up this obvious flaw in logic.

I say "I think" a lot too. You should get into the habit of saying it too. So what if I think that most people make most social progress by their 20? How is that controversial? I also wasn't even insisting this was the case, hence why I said I think.

Last edited by Nades on 30 Jan 2023, 12:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm having a bit of a breakout now. This was mostly due to factors outside of socialising though.

First of all, not once have I made a single claim about my own social skills. At most, I said OTHER members here have good social skills. I have gone out of my way to avoid mention of my own level of social aptitude, one way or the other. It wouldn't matter if I did, you'd just claim I'm wrong, and don't actually have any. Lo and behold...

Second of all, even if I have them, I'm not obligated to use them. I ain't trying to be ya f*ckin friend here. Nor am I trying to win people over or be popular, at this particular moment in time. If I was, then I might turn the charm on. But for the time being, that is not my objective. Besides, while YOU might not like what I have to say, other members seem to agree to some extent, if not actually like what I have to say.

Third, EVEN IF I have bad social skills, at least I WOULD ACKNOWLEDGE that my lack of success is due to poor social skills, and don't feel compelled to blame "women" or "society" or even "muh autism" for it.

Also, surely you see the irony in calling someone else "stubborn", while desperately clinging to the idea that "autistic people just CAN'T have social skills!! !"

And...



This is basically how you're reacting right now. Except instead of "women", you're aimed at me. Call it a "snide jab" all you want, but the shoe seems to fit. I say "personality", you say "looks!", I say "personality", you say "nothing can be done!", I say "PERSONALITY!", you say "how dare you!" - you're literally following the script I wrote.

If YOU have bad social skills, and YOU can't improve them, no matter what YOU do, that's YOUR situation, and YOUR problem. You don't need to drag ALL autistics down into the pit(y) of despair along with you.

Furthermore:



And yet you feel confident determining that I don't, or can't, have social skills, under these same circumstances? C'mon now...

'Scuse me if men treating women like "things" pisses me off and makes me act less "social". Especially when these same men are trying to f*ck "date" the very women they talk so much s**t about.

"PLEASE AND KINDLY, good sirs and fine gentlemen, I cordially request that you do attempt to refrain from treating women like sex-meat."

Is that better?

I hear these sad sob stories all day long from guys who have tried nothing, and are "all out of ideas". Just look at the crap being said. One guy says it's impossible to appeal to women cos "every woman is different!" and "its impossible to know what they want", until someone mentions "hypergamy" in which case "all women are the same!" and "its obvious what they all want" - and in either case, it's the WOMEN's fault! For being so different, and similar, and for wanting all kinds of unknowable mystery things, or wanting specific things you're totally certain of like looks and cars and muscles! Meanwhile...

"Ill try anything to date a girl!"

Personality!

"EXCEPT THAT!! ! F**K YOU!! ! WHY DOESN'T ANYONE LIKE ME?!"

Excuses excuses excuses...

It's a mystery!

Ten stars for uncommondenominator.



I like your personality.

Are you single?

What is “SM” account?

Don't start encouraging him with he's needless attacks now. All I mentioned was working out is a decent start for someone with autism and questioned why some people were against making such changes and why someone who worked out wasn't better looking than someone who didn't.

He then proceeded to accuse me of "making excuses" and telling everyone I have better social skills.

WTF!! !!

Two shoes make a pair.