How To Get A Girlfriend If You're An Autistic Man

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kraftiekortie
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29 Jan 2023, 6:12 am

A single man of 80 should continue to seek out love.



The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Jan 2023, 12:41 pm

MaxE wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
MaxE wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
MaxE, life is not a porn film. lol

Some peoples' lives might not be too different from a porn film.


Perhaps, but I have a feeling that your proposition is not gonna ever happen.


Like, think of it, for example the app Tinder was created at first as an offshoot of a precedent very successful app called “Grinder” which was a hook-up app geared for gay men.

Tinder was simply meant to be a “Grinder for straights”; an app for hookup, this how it was first marketed, but unlike Grinder, it didn’t work out this way at all. Why? Because most women can’t function sexually this way. Most women there ended up saying in their bio along the lines “not here for hookup” or “looking for serious relationship only”.

The original intention for Tinder (as a hookup app) failed and it simply turned into a serious dating app; women globally imposed that reality by sheer numbers and the guys have to deal with it.

Your proposition is based on a very male thinking, it won’t and can’t work for most women.

When I was single I was approached a handful of times by women seeking sex for its own sake so I know it can happen even if most women reading this can't imagine themselves doing that.


When they do it, they would do it discreetly, they won't be open about it in a public dating profile, and your proposition is too exposing, no woman (even an 'unattractive' one) would publicly annouce that she is willing to have sex just for the sake of trying it while they can do it discreetly.

You know, fearing slut-chaming is still a thing.

Besides the fear of slut-chaming, most women seek sex with an emotional bond and, unlike us men (yet some men claim they need emotional bond too), are not capable to seperate the two. Evolutionarily speaking it make sense, a female would avoid risking it to have sex with someone who wouldn't care about for her and for their offspring.



magz
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29 Jan 2023, 12:54 pm

Where I live, the very fact that you have a public dating profile strongly suggests you're potentially interested in sex for the sake of itself...

It's probably cultural - but here, dating apps are used either for quick marriages or for promiscuity, no in-between.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Jan 2023, 12:55 pm

magz wrote:
Where I live, the very fact that you have a public dating profile strongly suggests you're potentially interested in sex for the sake of itself...

It's probably cultural - but here, dating apps are used either for quick marriages or for promiscuity, no in-between.


And I bet it's sausage fest even where you live, prove me wrong. :P



Bataar
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29 Jan 2023, 1:06 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
A single man of 80 should continue to seek out love.

He should definitely not reject it if he stumbles across it or if by some fluke it finds him. But continuing to search for something that you have no hope in finding seems pointless and will leave you feeling worse than you did originally.



magz
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29 Jan 2023, 1:12 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
And I bet it's sausage fest even where you live, prove me wrong. :P
You mean mostly guys?
Some quick google search gives a study from 2017 that claims about 60% male users
https://pbi.org.pl/wp-content/uploads/2 ... Randki.pdf
The most popular dating app is used by around 1% of Internet users. The most popular dating site - less than 4% and declining.
It's pretty niche here.


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MaxE
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29 Jan 2023, 1:32 pm

magz wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
And I bet it's sausage fest even where you live, prove me wrong. :P
You mean mostly guys?
Some quick google search gives a study from 2017 that claims about 60% male users
https://pbi.org.pl/wp-content/uploads/2 ... Randki.pdf
The most popular dating app is used by around 1% of Internet users. The most popular dating site - less than 4% and declining.
It's pretty niche here.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14315542/? ... _sr_srsg_0

Interesting tidbit: Under trivia, the IMDb page says "Main character (Natalia) is high functioning autistic." No attribution of course.


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Last edited by MaxE on 29 Jan 2023, 1:49 pm, edited 2 times in total.

MaxE
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29 Jan 2023, 1:47 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
When they do it, they would do it discreetly, they won't be open about it in a public dating profile, and your proposition is too exposing, no woman (even an 'unattractive' one) would publicly annouce that she is willing to have sex just for the sake of trying it while they can do it discreetly.

You know, fearing slut-chaming is still a thing.

Besides the fear of slut-chaming, most women seek sex with an emotional bond and, unlike us men (yet some men claim they need emotional bond too), are not capable to seperate the two. Evolutionarily speaking it make sense, a female would avoid risking it to have sex with someone who wouldn't care about for her and for their offspring.

Not sure how much effort I need to make to explain what I previously wrote, however it was specifically about women with no sex life whatsoever (please re-read so I don't need to re-state all of it here) and my "proposition" was merely a rhetorical statement to get a point across about the futility of a.) a woman assuming any guy who hits on her simply wants to user her for sex and b.) insisting on a committed relationship, leading to the likelihood that the woman will never have a sex partner. In fact I have no serious solution for this, it's like if in the 1920's somebody had criticized Walt Disney for trying to make people believe a mouse can pilot a tugboat, sing, and whistle. Anyway I entirely understand there are many women, especially on the autism spectrum, with little or no interest in sex but I also think there are women who've been told they can't have sex outside a relationship by family and caregivers who simply wanted to protect them by keeping them single (and out of trouble) their whole lives, which in some situations might be the right thing to do but in other situations maybe not.

As for whether a woman might seek sex without an emotional bond, I wouldn't know the percentage that are capable of doing so but I have personally experienced this multiple times, and would even suggest that there were times when the woman basically told herself there was a bond because they couldn't bring themselves to admit they were basically horny having not had any for a while.


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uncommondenominator
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29 Jan 2023, 6:25 pm

Men in this thread: Someone please tell me how to get a girlfriend! I'll try anything!! !

Women in this thread: We like personality and humor! Have you tried working on those?

Men: *sigh* I guess there's nothing I can do...

Women: No but really, have you tried those?

Men: Looks like I better hit the gym and book a ticket to Thailand...

Women: P E R S O N A L I T Y...! !!

Men: Are you saying I'm not "good enough"? How dare you! See? Women are all...



Where_am_I
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29 Jan 2023, 6:35 pm

^ :lmao: :lmao: :wtg:


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IsabellaLinton
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29 Jan 2023, 7:22 pm

Image



TwilightPrincess
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29 Jan 2023, 7:27 pm

:lol:


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IsabellaLinton
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29 Jan 2023, 7:35 pm

Every time men say "get a girlfriend" I picture them fishing with a pole, just waiting for the catch-of-the-day.
It's as if women are an acquisition they can pick up at the seaside, or perhaps in Walmart Aisle 4.
Maybe those claw game machines have a good selection too.



TwilightPrincess
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29 Jan 2023, 7:36 pm

In all seriousness, here’s some sensible advice. It may have been given already, but I don’t feel like sifting through 17 pages.

One should approach getting a girlfriend the same way one would approach catching a mouse. Buy some brie cheese (my first choice) or a nice camembert and put it in a conspicuous place where women tend to be found. A sensible choice would be on the floor outside of a women’s restroom.


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IsabellaLinton
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29 Jan 2023, 7:37 pm

Trumpets help, too.


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Highlander852456
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29 Jan 2023, 7:41 pm

uncommondenominator wrote:
Men in this thread: Someone please tell me how to get a girlfriend! I'll try anything!! !

Women in this thread: We like personality and humor! Have you tried working on those?

Men: *sigh* I guess there's nothing I can do...

Women: No but really, have you tried those?

Men: Looks like I better hit the gym and book a ticket to Thailand...

Women: P E R S O N A L I T Y...! ! !

Men: Are you saying I'm not "good enough"? How dare you! See? Women are all...


I agree humor and personality can be improved, but unless someone tells me what that is, well....
Also, its not like males can rewire their brains each time with new female.
Personality is exactly that, a person-hood of person. It cannot be changed to fit every criteria.
Humor might work, but what I find funny, is not something other people find funny.

It does not help that many aspies have idiosyncratic type of humor, that is more natural to themselves, and makes others oblivious as to what is so funny.

Also females like different personalities.
So each time you change something you also change your chances with other females.
Not like you can actually aim to please specific type of female.