How To Get A Girlfriend If You're An Autistic Man

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No one is expecting you to become a perfect diplomat or the center of every party - but not going around snapping at people and offending them is comparable to not stinking.

That means you can't try? You won't know how far you can improve unless you do it. But why go to all that work when you can just make another excuse.

Besides, I'm not sure that's as true as you'd like it to be, as a defense. But again, it makes a handy excuse.

I just don’t see very many 300 lb autistic people around. Saying this is a prominent part of autism is just wrong.

People cam have “passable” social skills—like I do—and still be successful.

There are many aspects of me which would lead to lack of success—according to statistics.

Just taking showers every day, wearing clean clothes, don’t get upset about everything people say, and treat women like people—will get you a long way.

I’m no Chad….trust me!

Lol what? Where in earth did you interpret that about me?

That was the generic "you". As in "just cos (they / autistics) are severely limited doesn't mean they cant still try. They wont know unless they do". You offered an excuse, I offered a rebuttal to it, equally applicable to the "autistics in general" (whom you were making the excuse for) as to you personally, should the case apply. But since you've decided to take it so very personally, why would you offer it as an excuse unless it applied to you, as well?

But you're right - I forgot that you're already so very confident in your OWN social skills that you think better looks is all it will take to finally be successful. So I guess that's just OTHER autistics, BESIDES you, that are socially limited. Your confidence in them is inspiring.



So, are we. or are we not, talking about yourself here? Cos you start out talking about you, but then you delve into being cursed with poor social skills.

Last edited by uncommondenominator on 30 Jan 2023, 8:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

Why do you think people become obese? Do you think people want to struggle with their weight?

Generally people struggle with weight either because they've had poor eating habits all their lives, or they're struggling with mental health issues or sugar addiction.

Restricted and repetitive interests and behaviour are part of the diagnostic criteria for autism. As such, there's probably a propensity towards addictive personalities for people on the spectrum. If you struggle socially and spend most of your free time at home, especially if you're depressed, food may be one of the few pleasures available to you.

If you don't have cooking skills or you're not motivated to cook and have difficulty meal prepping, food delivery apps have made it easier than ever to satisfy sugar cravings without needing to do anything other than press a button.

Once one is embroiled in poor eating habits, they're difficult to get out of until you get out of them. Once you're used to not consuming much sugar anymore, maintaining those habits becomes significantly easier. I speak as someone who lost 40kg and gained 30kg back.

Personally, I need strict guidelines to govern my sugar intake, and if I fail to adhere to those guidelines and maintain those habits, they continue to unravel until all bets are off and I end up consuming sugary foods and drinks whenever I feel like it, which is often.

Lol shut it.

What's so controversial about what I said? An autistic can try all they like to improve their social skills but they'll still be below par. They'll only improve by a limited extent.

You're so invalidating.

I'm sorry for not assuming all autistics will always have sub-par social skills?

Are we including you in this assumption? Or not?

How terrible of me for assuming people have potential. Bad Llama!

I'm sure the rest of the forum is pleased to know what you think of their social skills.

If the thing I'm "invalidating" is "autistics can't have personality" or "women only care about looks", then you're damn right I am.

Last edited by uncommondenominator on 30 Jan 2023, 8:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

Weight issues seem very common in people with autism. It's just one of the factors that hold a lot of autistics back with dating. Poor employment is another and overall lack of competence as a typical adult is a third.

I think these problems are the for the most part possible for an autistic to alleviate against.

Social skills like have been suggested......well, autism is autism. I can think of a some people here who spent a lot of time on social environments and seem to make no improvements.

My mom thinks autistic people can't be fat.

For Christ sake, we have autism. Being socially inept is part of the diagnosis for autism.

What do you not understand about the basics of autism?

Obvious troll is obvious.

Most autistic people will probably never be social butterflies, but I doubt it's impossible for an autistic person to improve their social skills in a meaningful way. Practice would only be part of the equation, though. I'd imagine learning optimal ways to conduct oneself in social situations, and learning why that conduct produces more favourable results would be the best way to go. I doubt most autistic people will get as good as extroverted NTs, but I don't doubt there's plenty of room for improvement for those willing to learn and put in the time and practice.

He's practically saying autistics can cure autism by going to places like pubs, and we all know how well that seems to work....

Social skills can be improved for sure, but they're really not going to improve by much. It's probably better to focus on other areas of life first, like gaining or losing weight, working out, learning to drive, trying to get a job.

All the basics that partners look at and the basics that we not only fall short on but also the ones we have the most control over. Might as well go for the low hanging fruit before focusing on anything else.

I think these skills develop (or not) at a young age. A limited amount can be done about it but not much. Even if an autistic learns to no longer offending everyone in the room, they still probably lack the ability to communicate well and nothing can be done about it.

Poor social skills are a symptom, not a requirement. There's like 2 dozen diagnostic criteria. Plenty of members here have quite lovely social skills. Are they not autistic? You're denying the notion that autistic people can develop social skills, but I'M the one that's "invalidating"?

Also at what point did I say "go to pubs"? I said "develop personality".

Yes, I'm such a troll for suggesting that autistic people can in fact develop a personality. A good one, even! How provocative!

Last edited by uncommondenominator on 30 Jan 2023, 8:42 am, edited 3 times in total.