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How To Get A Girlfriend If You're An Autistic Man

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MaxE
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28 Jan 2023, 8:42 am

In an attempt to level-set, in my last substantial post I made the claim that there is a certain per cent of people in any gender who are simply not considered physically attractive by anybody's standards. If you're one of those people, then I can understand why you wouldn't want to date somebody "in your league". Ideally, if there was some way to get past that, I would be all for it. With a few exceptions, those people have functioning sex organs and it would be theoretically possible to engage in sexual relations with such a person. Maybe we can get people like that to have sex with each other on a dare? I know this thread is supposed to be about getting into a relationship not finding someone to get you off, but sex can sometimes lead to a relationship so why not give it a chance?

Anyway, I believe I also had said something about women who don't consider themselves to be attractive. First I'd like to say that a large number of women are way more attractive than they believe. But additionally, when a woman doesn't consider herself attractive then she assumes any man approaching her (either blatantly for sex or showing interest in an actual relationship) just wants to use her then dispose of her, and so she ends by not dating anyone, effectively taking herself out of the dating pool. Which is a shame. And what's wrong with being used for sex anyway? I mean if a woman already don't like herself anyway is that going to make things any worse? Why doesn't she just use that guy for sex herself, at least that would give her some agency.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Jan 2023, 11:21 am

MaxE, life is not a porn film. lol



Joe90
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28 Jan 2023, 11:23 am

I've often said on this site that I get men attracted to me which makes me feel flattered, but then people here have said "probably because you look vulnerable", which is insulting because the people who have said that might as well have just said, "you're likely not attractive, you just come across as stupid so that's why they chat you up". That's not an appropriate assumption to make to someone.
Nobody in this thread has said that, but a few people on WP (probably members who aren't here any more) said that.

Quote:
Because your posts make sense; logical.

Nothing to argue about.

Why thank you. :)


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IsabellaLinton
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28 Jan 2023, 11:29 am

Nades wrote:
It's a familiar look but I can't really figure out what the style would be called exactly.


I don't have a "type" really, so I'm not sure what they have in common.
It was 5 a.m. and I was too tired to find or post more.
They were just an example of men who look casual or grungey with no particular style.

I could do another post of men with bellies.
Another of bald men, or nerdy men.
Another of men in glasses.

I'm just sayin' none of them look like conventional movie stars.
They all have their own vibe or their own character, and they all look chill imo.
No one looks like they're preoccupied with their own looks.


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IsabellaLinton
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28 Jan 2023, 11:43 am

r00tb33r wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Isabella digs rugged, regular men, I feel.

Men who are good around the house, and are strong emotionally.

Who don’t take crap from people, yet treat her with respect.

Does that also include not taking crap from her? :wink: :tongue:



Ha!

Rugged:
To the extent that they're not manicured. Stubble and facial hair. Confidence.


Regular men:
Yes. Not the type who'd copy others, or check online to see how they should look.


Good around the house:
Housework? Meh. Depends if they're working full-time or not.
I'm home all day so I could do that as an equitable division of labour.
If we were both working, then we could figure something out.
I'd rather they can fix stuff outside (not sexist, but I'm agoraphobic.)


Strong emotionally:
I'm not sure what that means.
Humble and sincere are important to me. I don't do big egos.
Talking about emotions? Not so much.
I would need him to be a bit assertive overall because I'm not.

Don't take crap from others:
Yes.
Also defend others from crap.


Respect:
Yes


Not taking crap from me:
I'd expect them to call me out if I was being a dick.
I'd hope they would be honest if I upset them.
I'm not pushy or demanding.
I don't want their money, gifts, or fancy dates.
I just want to feel safe, and laugh a lot.


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funeralxempire
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28 Jan 2023, 11:53 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
MaxE, life is not a porn film. lol


Damn, that sure will make delivering pizzas a lot less interesting. :(


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IsabellaLinton
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28 Jan 2023, 12:26 pm

I forgot my very favourite grunger.
Gotta love the tatts.

Mmmmm the things I could do. :twisted:

Image
Image

But he has a nice personality too ...



I guess I like guitar rockers but they don't have to be rich and famous.
It's more about their attitude and talent.
It's important to me that we would like the same music.


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MaxE
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28 Jan 2023, 1:09 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
MaxE, life is not a porn film. lol

Some peoples' lives might not be too different from a porn film.


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Bataar
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28 Jan 2023, 2:22 pm

A key thing and the part that I struggle with most is putting yourself in a position where single females would be. No matter what I do or where I go, only other guys show up. Occasionally some will bring their girlfriends, but that's it. If there are no single women, you're not going to meet any. At this point in my life, I no longer hope for it. Is it possible I'll meet someone someday? Of course it's possible. It's also possible I'll be walking over to get my mail and I'll find a large envelope containing $100,000 in unmarked, untracable bills.



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28 Jan 2023, 2:51 pm

MaxE wrote:
In an attempt to level-set, in my last substantial post I made the claim that there is a certain per cent of people in any gender who are simply not considered physically attractive by anybody's standards. If you're one of those people, then I can understand why you wouldn't want to date somebody "in your league". Ideally, if there was some way to get past that, I would be all for it. With a few exceptions, those people have functioning sex organs and it would be theoretically possible to engage in sexual relations with such a person. Maybe we can get people like that to have sex with each other on a dare? I know this thread is supposed to be about getting into a relationship not finding someone to get you off, but sex can sometimes lead to a relationship so why not give it a chance?

Anyway, I believe I also had said something about women who don't consider themselves to be attractive. First I'd like to say that a large number of women are way more attractive than they believe. But additionally, when a woman doesn't consider herself attractive then she assumes any man approaching her (either blatantly for sex or showing interest in an actual relationship) just wants to use her then dispose of her, and so she ends by not dating anyone, effectively taking herself out of the dating pool. Which is a shame. And what's wrong with being used for sex anyway? I mean if a woman already don't like herself anyway is that going to make things any worse? Why doesn't she just use that guy for sex herself, at least that would give her some agency.


Alternatively, they could change their approach and be less willing to have sex right away. Idk I went a month without dating at all because well had too many bad experiences of jumping into intimacy just for them to not want anything serious. So instead of entirely removing myself, just changed the approach I was using and decided no sex till I get to know the guy and determine we are on the same page. That way it could weed out those who just want some casual sex encounters.

I don't like casual sex, I like it with a close partner...so I can't really wrap my head around using someone just for sex. I think if both parties agree that's fine, but seems a lot of times one person is kinda leading the other on. So like doesn't really give agency if one person sees the other as disposable once they get bored...you can't lead them on back if they aren't even interested.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Jan 2023, 3:37 pm

MaxE wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
MaxE, life is not a porn film. lol

Some peoples' lives might not be too different from a porn film.


Perhaps, but I have a feeling that your proposition is not gonna ever happen.



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28 Jan 2023, 3:48 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
MaxE wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
MaxE, life is not a porn film. lol

Some peoples' lives might not be too different from a porn film.


Perhaps, but I have a feeling that your proposition is not gonna ever happen.


Like, think of it, for example the app Tinder was created at first as an offshoot of a precedent very successful app called “Grinder” which was a hook-up app geared for gay men.

Tinder was simply meant to be a “Grinder for straights”; an app for hookup, this how it was first marketed, but unlike Grinder, it didn’t work out this way at all. Why? Because most women can’t function sexually this way. Most women there ended up saying in their bio along the lines “not here for hookup” or “looking for serious relationship only”.

The original intention for Tinder (as a hookup app) failed and it simply turned into a serious dating app; women globally imposed that reality by sheer numbers and the guys have to deal with it.

Your proposition is based on a very male thinking, it won’t and can’t work for most women.



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28 Jan 2023, 4:14 pm

Bataar wrote:
A key thing and the part that I struggle with most is putting yourself in a position where single females would be. No matter what I do or where I go, only other guys show up. Occasionally some will bring their girlfriends, but that's it. If there are no single women, you're not going to meet any. At this point in my life, I no longer hope for it. Is it possible I'll meet someone someday? Of course it's possible. It's also possible I'll be walking over to get my mail and I'll find a large envelope containing $100,000 in unmarked, untracable bills.


Are you saying you are too old to meet single women nowadays?



MaxE
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28 Jan 2023, 5:34 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
MaxE wrote:
In an attempt to level-set, in my last substantial post I made the claim that there is a certain per cent of people in any gender who are simply not considered physically attractive by anybody's standards. If you're one of those people, then I can understand why you wouldn't want to date somebody "in your league". Ideally, if there was some way to get past that, I would be all for it. With a few exceptions, those people have functioning sex organs and it would be theoretically possible to engage in sexual relations with such a person. Maybe we can get people like that to have sex with each other on a dare? I know this thread is supposed to be about getting into a relationship not finding someone to get you off, but sex can sometimes lead to a relationship so why not give it a chance?

Anyway, I believe I also had said something about women who don't consider themselves to be attractive. First I'd like to say that a large number of women are way more attractive than they believe. But additionally, when a woman doesn't consider herself attractive then she assumes any man approaching her (either blatantly for sex or showing interest in an actual relationship) just wants to use her then dispose of her, and so she ends by not dating anyone, effectively taking herself out of the dating pool. Which is a shame. And what's wrong with being used for sex anyway? I mean if a woman already don't like herself anyway is that going to make things any worse? Why doesn't she just use that guy for sex herself, at least that would give her some agency.


Alternatively, they could change their approach and be less willing to have sex right away. Idk I went a month without dating at all because well had too many bad experiences of jumping into intimacy just for them to not want anything serious. So instead of entirely removing myself, just changed the approach I was using and decided no sex till I get to know the guy and determine we are on the same page. That way it could weed out those who just want some casual sex encounters.

I don't like casual sex, I like it with a close partner...so I can't really wrap my head around using someone just for sex. I think if both parties agree that's fine, but seems a lot of times one person is kinda leading the other on. So like doesn't really give agency if one person sees the other as disposable once they get bored...you can't lead them on back if they aren't even interested.

Please understand my comment was about people with basically no physical attractiveness at least to most people. I don't think women in that category get used for sex very often except sometimes when they are underage. I doubt there's any intersection with your personal experience. I also mentioned there are women who believe themselves unattractive but really aren't, and how this limits their prospects for companionship. What I said about having sex on a dare was mostly tongue in cheek but I still think I have a point.


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MaxE
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28 Jan 2023, 5:37 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
MaxE wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
MaxE, life is not a porn film. lol

Some peoples' lives might not be too different from a porn film.


Perhaps, but I have a feeling that your proposition is not gonna ever happen.


Like, think of it, for example the app Tinder was created at first as an offshoot of a precedent very successful app called “Grinder” which was a hook-up app geared for gay men.

Tinder was simply meant to be a “Grinder for straights”; an app for hookup, this how it was first marketed, but unlike Grinder, it didn’t work out this way at all. Why? Because most women can’t function sexually this way. Most women there ended up saying in their bio along the lines “not here for hookup” or “looking for serious relationship only”.

The original intention for Tinder (as a hookup app) failed and it simply turned into a serious dating app; women globally imposed that reality by sheer numbers and the guys have to deal with it.

Your proposition is based on a very male thinking, it won’t and can’t work for most women.

When I was single I was approached a handful of times by women seeking sex for its own sake so I know it can happen even if most women reading this can't imagine themselves doing that.


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28 Jan 2023, 8:40 pm

ironpony wrote:
Bataar wrote:
A key thing and the part that I struggle with most is putting yourself in a position where single females would be. No matter what I do or where I go, only other guys show up. Occasionally some will bring their girlfriends, but that's it. If there are no single women, you're not going to meet any. At this point in my life, I no longer hope for it. Is it possible I'll meet someone someday? Of course it's possible. It's also possible I'll be walking over to get my mail and I'll find a large envelope containing $100,000 in unmarked, untracable bills.


Are you saying you are too old to meet single women nowadays?

No, just that after 25 years of not be able to, I no longer waste effort hoping for it. If some fluke happens at some point,that would be great. I just don't have expectations for it.