Venting- Failing to coexist

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I used to live with my partner and my best friend. We are all Aut Adults in our late 20s. I am currently residing between my family home and my partners family home due to lack of rental properties and a job change.

It is not going well.

I feel like there is no "inside", no safety, no home. I can't do what I need to to recover from the exhaustion of being "outside me". I'm incredibly beyond frustrated by people's expectations. I'm so angry when people simply talk to me or expect me to talk. At home I could not talk for 3 days straight and it'd be okay, The guys just silently communicated with me. We communicate perfectly well silently and we can eat together, cook together, watch movies, play games or even just share space without having to say a word to the person who wants to be silent. We know one of us needs that. It was never discussed, it is just natural.

People also throw their emotions around and they infect the air like smoke. Its gross. I have plenty of emotions but I have the decency to keep them private and deal with them outside of the shared sphere. I understand when you crack, you've been trying to regulate but it slips and you have a big emotion explosion but some people just let every emotional whim out into the air. It's suffocating.

People are also so damn loud. I am uncoordinated and clumsy and yet I can exist quieter than most people. How on earth can someone make so much noise just 'Being'. Its like their bodies just move in ways that stir up airwaves that beat my eardrums like a bass drum.

I need desperately to go somewhere silent and where I can be silent and where there is nothing unexpected and there are no big lights on or weird emotional secondhand smoke. I am honestly extremely worn and stretched thin by existence and I cannot explain how physically ill life is making me feel. I am beyond depressed. I have cried several times which is not usual for me and I keep not being able to breathe. I have vomited numerous times from sheer overload. I'm getting migraines near constantly.

I don't expect much engagement but I am posting so I can imagine that at least someone here might understand my distress.

Thanks
Clara