What do you talk about?

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I've just been thinking about what can put me off a guy and it's often down to what they talk about, how they present themselves verbally and how they talk about other people?

Being on the spectrum I like in depth conversations about topics, so I don't give advice on what NT women think about that. Not a clue.

What I'm getting at is tone. Are you critical of other people? I had a huge, "I'm not like other girls" issue when I was younger and I think it came over as unappealing and unkind. I thought I was Daria, but I was actually the new Velma.

Does your conversation put others down? Do you constantly drift into how unfair things are?

It's ok to open up and mention something that you're struggling with that is unfair when you're close to someone. I had a female friend tell me about a problem she was having recently and she apologized for bringing the mood down. I told her that it's important to tell someone how she feels and not keep it bottled up.

But this isn't dating conversation when you're getting to know someone. That balance can be tricky for us on the spectrum.

I was talking to a guy who told me that he got so angry that he smashed his iPad up. This was our first conversation and it really put me off him.

People don't want to invite more negativity into their already difficult lives. What can you bring to the table to brighten their life up and lift them up?

Not sure. I have been accused of being to happy and joyful when others are not, or the complete opposite. Prefer in depth conversations myself. Ones I can explore as I speak. I am not one for everyday speak that some people do as I need to talk about things I can relate to to talk.

My girlfriend has those types of negative off-putting conversations alot with me. That's one of the many reasons I love her I find happy-go-lucky people very off-putting. They tend to be very dismissive of my various issues & problems. They insisted that if I just changed my outlook, things would somehow suddenly improve for me. My experience contradicts that. IDK what drugs those people are on that make them live in that magical land but no psych or doc has ever prescribed them to me There's an expression that goes~ "misery loves company" & that's probably why I prefer negative people like goths & EMOs. I'm aLOT happier being in a relationship with someone who's negative than I ever was when I was single. She understands me, accepts me, & supports me better than anyone else ever has. I can be my real self with her & it's OK for me to be in a bad mood sometimes & say things out of frustration that are not very PC. Plus i like being supportive within a romantic relationship & that's one of my biggest relationship strengths.

There's a reason lots of members go to a support site like WP. They are struggling & want to talk about things. This site has helped LOTS of members including myself because of all the negative conversations. We can learn things from each other & feel understood & accepted. I wanted the same out of a romantic relationship except in-person & on much deeper level with physical affection mixed in.

Music
Pets
Human rights and philosophy stuff
Travel that we'll never do
Food
Childhood stuff
We laugh a lot and play board games
He's a closet nerd

He talks way more than I do, with much more interest in psychology (he's a counsellor).
He's into talking about feelings and I'm not.
I had to curb that one quickly.
I could easily dump all my trauma on him and treat him like a therapist if I'm not careful.

Objectively if the negative critical stuff has legitimate meaning to the person and I can relate to it or at least understand it, it would not bother me.

If that critical and negative stuff were directed at me or on people that might be a problem, but it depends what it is and the substance of it.

If the person has positive disposition its the same thing.

I mean its all about being authentic today and all that so why not be negative if you are negative.

You made him smash his ipad on first conversation?
Wow, you’re a such talented fella.