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Kitty4670
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22 Jan 2023, 10:00 pm

I really really hate having Aspergers. I have ALOT of pain in my feet & lower legs, it had to do with when I broke my ankle 4 & half years ago. I been stuck in my apartment, I have one step on my porch, I can have sooooo much trouble bending my legs. I can still walk, but I can’t stay on my feet too long, when I’m on my feet, I can have alot of anxiety & I can breathe too fast. I have a walker & a wheelchair, I been getting help with cleaning my apartment & other stuff too, some of them were cleaning people, I have a trust fund that my mom left. When I feel alone with nobody to help me, I get sooo overwhelmed, I get extremely extra anxiety even in my wheelchair. I really hate forgetting things too, for days, I been wanting to get a new trash bag for my bedroom, I keep forgetting, I’m sooooo bad at alot of things, I forget to check my emails, I had over 300 emails to delete, I still have to delete my emails, I can forget to read my regular mail, I hate reading my mail for alot of reasons, 1. I don’t have too much patience anymore 2. It toooo much 3. It can be soooooo hard for me to understand cuz of my Learning Disability 4. I can get anxiety if I can’t understand what I’m reading 5. I can cry too 6. I’m can get so overwhelmed. I have brain of a 5 year old. I been wanting to die cuz I CANNOT HANDLE things anymore, I get extremely very bad anxiety, breathing too fast, very very overwhelmed, I just want to die, I want to die in my sleep, I want my mommy, I want to go to heaven to be with my mom again. It will be 10 years in June without her.



UncannyDanny
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22 Jan 2023, 10:13 pm

Go see a therapist. You're having an extreme breakdown. :o



Rossall
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22 Jan 2023, 10:40 pm

Sorry you're feeling so bad Kitty. Have you tried deep breathing to calm you down and getting a diary to help you get organised?


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Ghulam Asadiq
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23 Jan 2023, 3:13 am

It's even worse for an ethnic minority person like myself. :(


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Where_am_I
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23 Jan 2023, 4:35 am

^ No offence intended, Ghulam, but it isn't very helpful for Kitty to say that it's worse for you. I can relate, and am sorry you're having a tough time because of the extra barriers you face as an ethnic minority.

Kitty: I hope you're doing ok. How are you today?


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Silence23
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23 Jan 2023, 12:18 pm

Did you try yoga? I found it's not so hard to start a yoga routine. Just get a yoga mat and start with a short duration. Like 2-3 minutes. Keep the yoga mat visible, so you don't "forget" you want to do yoga every day for at least 2-3 minutes. When you're used to it, increase the duration, try different poses etc.



FletcherArrow
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24 Jan 2023, 10:13 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
I really really hate having Aspergers. I have ALOT of pain in my feet & lower legs, it had to do with when I broke my ankle 4 & half years ago. I been stuck in my apartment, I have one step on my porch, I can have sooooo much trouble bending my legs. I can still walk, but I can’t stay on my feet too long, when I’m on my feet, I can have alot of anxiety & I can breathe too fast. I have a walker & a wheelchair, I been getting help with cleaning my apartment & other stuff too, some of them were cleaning people, I have a trust fund that my mom left. When I feel alone with nobody to help me, I get sooo overwhelmed, I get extremely extra anxiety even in my wheelchair. I really hate forgetting things too, for days, I been wanting to get a new trash bag for my bedroom, I keep forgetting, I’m sooooo bad at alot of things, I forget to check my emails, I had over 300 emails to delete, I still have to delete my emails, I can forget to read my regular mail, I hate reading my mail for alot of reasons, 1. I don’t have too much patience anymore 2. It toooo much 3. It can be soooooo hard for me to understand cuz of my Learning Disability 4. I can get anxiety if I can’t understand what I’m reading 5. I can cry too 6. I’m can get so overwhelmed. I have brain of a 5 year old. I been wanting to die cuz I CANNOT HANDLE things anymore, I get extremely very bad anxiety, breathing too fast, very very overwhelmed, I just want to die, I want to die in my sleep, I want my mommy, I want to go to heaven to be with my mom again. It will be 10 years in June without her.


I hate having Asperger's, too. Aspgerger's didn't didn't cause you to break your ankle.
Your brain is much more mature than that of a five year old. That is evident by how you write.



Kitty4670
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27 Jan 2023, 1:03 am

FletcherArrow wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
I really really hate having Aspergers. I have ALOT of pain in my feet & lower legs, it had to do with when I broke my ankle 4 & half years ago. I been stuck in my apartment, I have one step on my porch, I can have sooooo much trouble bending my legs. I can still walk, but I can’t stay on my feet too long, when I’m on my feet, I can have alot of anxiety & I can breathe too fast. I have a walker & a wheelchair, I been getting help with cleaning my apartment & other stuff too, some of them were cleaning people, I have a trust fund that my mom left. When I feel alone with nobody to help me, I get sooo overwhelmed, I get extremely extra anxiety even in my wheelchair. I really hate forgetting things too, for days, I been wanting to get a new trash bag for my bedroom, I keep forgetting, I’m sooooo bad at alot of things, I forget to check my emails, I had over 300 emails to delete, I still have to delete my emails, I can forget to read my regular mail, I hate reading my mail for alot of reasons, 1. I don’t have too much patience anymore 2. It toooo much 3. It can be soooooo hard for me to understand cuz of my Learning Disability 4. I can get anxiety if I can’t understand what I’m reading 5. I can cry too 6. I’m can get so overwhelmed. I have brain of a 5 year old. I been wanting to die cuz I CANNOT HANDLE things anymore, I get extremely very bad anxiety, breathing too fast, very very overwhelmed, I just want to die, I want to die in my sleep, I want my mommy, I want to go to heaven to be with my mom again. It will be 10 years in June without her.


I hate having Asperger's, too. Aspgerger's didn't didn't cause you to break your ankle.
Your brain is much more mature than that of a five year old. That is evident by how you write.


I know Aspergers didn’t cause to break my ankle, but aspergers does cause people to be clumsy.



autisticelders
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28 Jan 2023, 7:15 am

sending best wishes for physical comfort and rapid healing. ( I get that clumsy stuff, me too , completely exasperating!)


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Kitty4670
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28 Jan 2023, 10:27 pm

autisticelders wrote:
sending best wishes for physical comfort and rapid healing. ( I get that clumsy stuff, me too , completely exasperating!)


I broke my ankle over 4 years ago, unfortunately I got alot of pain from it.



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29 Jan 2023, 9:38 pm

I am sorry, i know what a mess life can be with aspergers. I often make lists everyday, to keep myself organized and to have a routine.
Routines and ticking things on my "to do" list helps me feel calmer.



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30 Jan 2023, 11:44 am

I hate autism more than words can say but apparently it's offensive to all autistics if we say we hate it. But I don't think it is, as I'm only speaking for myself and my own personal experiences s**t it causes.


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