My mother is starting to go downhill

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Oh yes I agree she seems to be NPD.
I was just wondering if Narc's can also have depression when something doesn't go as planned.

Either way she's a hot mess and I'm sorry you've had such little support.

She is and even though I kind of handled her in my teens and twenties, then I got my own life and didn't have the energy or time to deal with such a difficult, angry and spiteful woman. She is nice sometimes though, when I was young we had many fun times. It was just when I became an adult she got really nasty.

I'm used to dealing with things on my own tbh. It's always been 'just me' fighting along. At least I've had my husband helping for many years now.