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Rossall
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25 Jan 2023, 5:55 pm

Does anyone else feel like they're walking around in a fog? Everything seems vague and other worldly.

To connect with other people seems impossible most of the time. Voices seem like a vague buzzing noise. You are hypersensitive to noise. Any good contact with other people gives you a big lift in mood as it's so unusual.

Relationships seem impossible. I had lots of friends in my first school but seem to have gone downhill since apart from when I had a good electronics job and when I had lots of contacts through CB radio. I am going to stick with this post as I'm aware I have very little patience when posting and tend to keep things short and maybe don't think enough. The more contact I have with other people (especially family) the better I feel but lately that hasn't been much apart from occasional emails with my Dad and sister. In high school I tended to sit on my own and not have any contact with many others. I think I might have been depressed even then and it's continued until now. Electronics and radio have kept me occupied and seemed to help me mentally and relax me on my own. (Got a little AM transmitter getting delivered tomorrow which will keep me occupied for a while) used to love playing with electronics kits as a child.

My mother's dead but my dad is still around and I have 2 sisters (one has MS). Very dependent on alcohol now which may well kill me but I can't seem to stop it. My neighbours above are very noisy and this is making me feel like moving yet again. Hoping I can get a bungalow in a few years time.


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Interests: music (especially 80s), computers, electronics, amateur radio, soccer (Liverpool).


r00tb33r
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25 Jan 2023, 6:13 pm

Fog yes, no relationships yes.

Don't know where that's from but I've never been this dysfunctional before.


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ToughDiamond
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25 Jan 2023, 9:27 pm

I certainly go through phases where my thoughts seem worryingly blurred or "foggy." It's hard to say a lot of useful things about it because when my mind seems blurred isn't a good time to analyse what's wrong, so I don't know quite what it is.

It doesn't happen anything like as often as it used to. I suspect that's because I'm more free to think about what I want to think about - when I was at school I had to think about a lot of hard stuff such as advanced mathematics, and it was mostly pure rather than applied thinking. I'm much better when my thoughts are directed to a fairly direct, concrete purpose. But often I just get curious and then the purpose is to satisfy that innate specific curiosity.

One thing that helps when my thoughts about a thing are foggy is to break off and return to it later. Then I usually find that on the second pass I can see it more clearly. Sometimes I have to return to it more than once. I think a lot of the mental fog I get is just that I tend to think slowly and deliberately, and I have to wait for some unconscious process to adjust my brain to anything new. If the subject is complicated and rather involved, I can also easily forget chunks of it and lose my grasp of the matter if I leave it alone for too long, so I might have to take a while to re-familiarise myself with it.

I also think I have a kind of tunnel vision with my thinking, so if it's a complicated subject then I can't hold all the thoughts of it in my head at the same time, which often makes me feel that I don't understand it, though if I'm asked specific questions about small aspects of it then I can usually answer them quite well, which demonstrates that I understand the matter better than I feel I do.



timf
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26 Jan 2023, 7:40 am

You might try AA for the drinking, it could open some relationship doors.

You might see if there is an amateur radio club in your area (different from CB)

There are some Arduino clubs for those who experiment with programming microcontrollers. Your electronics background might put you in an advantageous position there.



And So It Goes
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26 Jan 2023, 9:04 am

Sorry to read about your sense of disconnection.

I feel primarily similar when depressed, as if reality itself is the dream and I'm about to wake up elsewhere. Ethereal.


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Edna3362
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26 Jan 2023, 7:22 pm

I do.

And the only remedy I knew (and had proven more than once) was to fix whatever sleep quality issues I have.
There's at least 3 physical sources of my sleep issues since as a child that had nothing to do with autism -- and on top of whatever autism is also doing and reacting to such. My current circumstances then never helped.


My relationships and how I interact with others are very different from the fog headed deadweight and the real me who don't have to deal with it.
Almost night and day difference -- the dysfunctional me is a spoiled brat who needs a fricking beating for being a liability, while the real me actually acts and thinks of the maturity of my chronological age or better.

The former does feel this frustrating egodystonic disconnect, and has a lot of ADD like traits.
The latter is simply being me to it's best and most consciously aware form, with anything I do aligns with myself, my experiences and my supposed developmental stages.


And somewhat I fear that the latter would disappear due to spending more time coping with the former... :x
I don't want that.


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Suicidal_Vampire
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31 Jan 2023, 7:42 pm

Sometimes I randomly become apathetic and disregard the people around me. Like someone could literally be talking to me, but I'd have to wait like a minute until I'd respond. It might just be tiredness or hyperfocus, but idk, it just feels different.


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