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SharonB
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01 Feb 2023, 8:12 am

ToughDiamond wrote:
SharonB wrote:
If I like them. I haven't regularly brushed my teeth since I started being bullied at work many years ago. The stress of the pandemic did not help with that. I'm not sure what it would take to start regularly brushing my teeth again. Self respect?

In my case it was a painful session or two of dental surgery that conditioned me into cleaning my teeth properly. The trouble with not bothering is that the punishment lags too far behind the crime.

Good point. I had my first painful deep cleaning. Took one month to recover. One more bout of natural consequences should do it?



Edna3362
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01 Feb 2023, 8:47 am

SharonB wrote:
If I like them. I haven't regularly brushed my teeth since I started being bullied at work many years ago. The stress of the pandemic did not help with that. I'm not sure what it would take to start regularly brushing my teeth again. Self respect?

To me, it's not 'self-respect'. Self-respect is more of an initiator than what maintains the routine.

In my own case, it's figuring out how to create a habit than a set of rules.

It's either having notable contrast of not-doing-it VS doing it and being motivated by it, or this weird autopilot -- which is trickier to reach and get it right but the effects are more permanent and more consistent.

Doing something several days in a row intentionally doesn't really work well with me.

I also need to be consistent in the inside -- this includes emotions and hormones. Unfortunately I'm an adult female dealing with a cycle.

Also to add I also need several more consistencies before another one can be created -- systems of conditional statements, which is not easy to "write" and "implement" from making my head make 'excuses' of not doing it.

Anyone can fight a battle and win on the first day and up to a week -- but that won't hold up as soon as the head clings into an excuse in every change.

It's like this; you wanna exercise lightly everyday.
First day, did it.
Second day, try.
Third day, there are whispers of excuses and resistance.
Forth day, those whispers becomes more convincing.
Fifth day? Depends on willpower.

Until eventually give in to the idea of 'resting your muscles'.


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SharonB
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09 Feb 2023, 10:22 pm

I love this topic. I love efficiencies. Lack of routines can ruin me. Happiness is having one tea spoon, one cereal bowl, etc. However, I have a husband with little patience for clutter (his mantra is "throw it out").

My vision is to eat my morning cereal, rinse my bowl and spoon, put them to the side and expect to find them there the next day - it is not his vision. He puts them in the sink water, or the dishwasher.
My vision to take my tea bag out, and put my tea spoon in its bowl and expect to find it there the next tea time - it is not his. He puts it in sink water, or the dishwasher.

The (greasy) sink water is a sensory nightmare for me; I have the option to check the dishwasher - is it dirty? clean? or get a new bowl(s) and spoon(s) --- already I am in the land of wasted energy.

2 bowls and 2 spoons to clutter the side of the sink every day vs 7-10 bowls and 10-20 spoons to wash every week. I just talked to him and reiterated I would like space for my "low energy" routines. His need for a spotless counter and my need for energy conservation. He pointed at this gross dirty spot and suggested I could put my bowls there (not on the counter). Really? Ah, negotiating needs. He's not Autistic, but he's Avoidant. He walked out. Back to try again...



Kitty4670
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10 Feb 2023, 12:37 am

I can have so much trouble brushing my teeth, brushing my hair, putting new underwear on every day (I use special underwear for leakage, I have a bladder problem, I take pills for it everyday & drink water, drinking water seems to control it, but if I’m upset, my bladder can be out of control & I can go to bathroom every hour or every 30 minutes, sometimes I go every 15 minutes 8O :oops: :cry: :cry: I have to bend my legs to get underwear on, I can’t bend legs when I want to, I can have so much trouble bending my legs. With brushing my teeth, I have to stand up to brush & the toothpaste can be strong for me even sensitive toothpaste, mouthwash is no problem but I have to brush my teeth first, my mouthwash I use is Listerine, I found a sensitive Listerine :D I have not doing exercises too, I been doing light exercises, leg lift & more leg exercises, I been doing inner thighs exercises (I have a thigh master I bought over 5 years ago, my thighs are very fat :oops: :roll: :skull:) I can brush my teeth, my hair & exercises, but not everyday, everyday seems overwhelming to me. When I was in my 20s, I did some work, I worked at a handicap workshop, I met my first boyfriend there, but I couldn’t commit to working everyday, I think they let me come in late, I worked at an art gallery workshop, I had trouble committing too & I worked at my mom preschool, I couldn’t commit either, I couldn’t commit to high school :lol:



Kitty4670
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10 Feb 2023, 12:57 am

Edna3362 wrote:
Doing something several days in a row intentionally doesn't really work well with me.


I’m like this, I really can’t do things every single day, it’s too much. I can get up,go to the bathroom, go to the kitchen to make coffee, make food for myself, I have to feed my cat can food, sometimes I skip her can food cuz I forgot, but I always leave dry food out for her.



SharonB
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11 Feb 2023, 10:28 am

@Kitty4670, at my new job they seem to be very understanding of my ... randomness. Lots of room for me to flit around doing different things and get back to something... or not for a bit. Good for the demand avoidant. There are still demands (it's a job), but they are... gentler.

Update: My husband and I found a spot on a counter by the fridge for my things. It meets my needs: a routine spot, and his needs: the cooking counter remains clear. Phew!



BreathlessJade
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24 Mar 2023, 12:08 am

I think many aspies, like myself, grew up in homes where our own routine wasn't tolerated. what i did have was a tendency to escape into my room or (the other room) and stim like no tomorrow. and when i was interrupted, it was like taking ice cream away. I had to switch to the "normal kid"



Gammeldans
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25 Mar 2023, 4:22 am

Routines are hard for me at times.
The require a lot of planning and my asd brain might find that difficult at times.
But not having routines require planning as well.

:?:

Let's solve this problem!