Playing in a band
I have had similar experiences ie people who want to do different things.
It's so bloody difficult to play with others when we have different goals but it is also difficult to stop playing and start talking about goals.
In the bands I was in, it wasn't really an issue at first when everything was growing. We'd get our first gig, then start getting paid a little bit, start acquiring fairly decent equipment, etc. It was usually when we'd peaked and stopped developing that differing views on what to do would start coming out. Not that we ever "went professional," or ever sounded all that marvellous, though sometimes we went down very well.
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,725
Location: the island of defective toy santas
I was in a band for several years. The main issues for me were just the sheer volume of the music (even with earplugs in) and that when we started playing in other towns all the travel and late nights really messed me up. I carried on doing solo stuff at the same time. We were a trio - I shared vocal duties with the guitarist, and I played bass. Actually rather enjoyed the bass, as it's an instrument where you're solid and reliable rather than flamboyant. I wasn't the one who broke the band up, but I was stressed enough by that point that I didn't try too hard to save it.
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I joined a punk band but only had one practice session with the group , I had a silent migraine just before practice , then had a breakdown/burnout days afterwards so never went back to the band (I don't believe the burnout had anything to do with the band as I had other life stressors which seemed more likely to have caused it).
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purplepuffin
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Joined: 26 Mar 2023
Gender: Female
Posts: 51
Location: Australia
It's probably not the same, but I am in an orchestra, and a casual music group, and a cello ensemble, and in all of these I LOVE making music with other people. I think it scratches a social itch without having to employ those skills that are harder for us. There's some kind of communication that goes on when you're playing, where you react to how someone else is playing, where are giving an invitation to play the music with a certain dynamic or tempo, and you can join them or try to play in an opposite way if you don't agree. In the casual music group, everyone might start to slow down as though it is the last time through that piece but someone could determinedly play up to tempo and then start playing again, and maybe someone who also wanted to play again but wasn't going against the majority decides to keep playing as well and support them, and then others relent and join in and everyone ends up playing it again. Or sometimes that bold person isn't able to convince the others and they falter off after two or three bars. It's interesting when they even get 2 or 3 others to join in but the others are stubborn and won't join in and they still end up faltering even with the support. It's like a huge conversation where everyone eventually gets convinced and plays one way. But one with no body language and no words, and usually no eye contact. All the communication is through your ears. It can be beautiful and I love it.