Feel bad for not being more adventurous ?

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chris1989
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31 Jan 2023, 3:31 pm

I seem to feel like like at times I'm bombarded by adverts and images of people doing things like hiking, parachute gliding, going to far away places etc and feel like those are things I SHOULD be doing before you get to old age as a way to show that you have ''lived''. The thing is I do like for example, going abroad but I find myself unwilling to go on my own and as a result it then leaves me feeling that even by not doing these things on my own, I am just wasting my life. I feel there are people out there who will still do these things on their own and then think to myself ''Well, why aren't I like them ?'' and think people go to more countries and do more adrenaline-running activities than I do. Its strange I as do go out and do things on my own but that is usually when I am going to town or somewhere a little further away from where I live but I can't seem to get into the mindset of wanting to get on a flight to somewhere by myself. I've always gone with the family and I have very few close friends and they are not really the ''going out type''.

The thing is want to live but I seem to think we get constantly shown these images on social media and on the TV doing things like becoming somewhat of a gym addict, or doing bungee jumping and stuff like that and implying that those are the things you HAVE to do in order to LIVE a life. I do remember going to the peak district on a trip with the Princes Trust and I couldn't get myself to want to do go over the edge of a bridge in the dark as I couldn't see the bottom even though I had a harness on and there were people at the bottom to catch me.



kraftiekortie
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31 Jan 2023, 4:43 pm

Nope. Don’t feel bad.



IsabellaLinton
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31 Jan 2023, 4:46 pm

Those adverts are designed to make you feel like you're missing out, so they can take your money.



chris1989
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01 Feb 2023, 8:26 am

I seem to think that some of those adverts make you want to enjoy everything and over-indulge. Maybe I am exaggerating a little bit but that is how it feels. I seem to find myself not feeling 100% happy or content when you are given a multitude of different choices to have. By choosing one of them, I still feel will miss out on the all the other choices. I remember a guy saying he was starving hungry and decided to order food on Deliveroo but was given a number of different choices which just left him feel more irritable and unable to decide because you are bombarded with loads of your favourite foods you'd like to eat but the point is probably not to over-indulge when your hungry when your stomach doesn't really tell you what food you'd like to eat when its rumbling.



kraftiekortie
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01 Feb 2023, 8:30 am

I would say just pick your favorite food.



Silence23
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01 Feb 2023, 3:12 pm

I was quite adventurous as a kid. Not really missing it today. I like watching travel vlogs of solo travellers. I enjoy them, but I wouldn't want to do what they do. Had a phase where I enjoyed photographing insects, so I also had some "adventures". E.g. with angry neurotypicals yelling at me because I'm not supposed to be there.



goldfish21
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04 Feb 2023, 9:36 am

Only that I've allowed mild depression & ptsd symptoms to distract me from continuing to be adventurous.. it's now been 3-4 years since I've been kiteboarding and I've Wanted to get back to it, just never prioritized buying a couple new pieces of gear and Going. Maybe this Summer I'll get out on the ocean again! Even if only a handful of times.

Hard, though.. it's hard to get geared up and head out on the longer drive to Squamish on a sunny Summer weekend morning when I like to sleep in and go chill at my regular beach. Also, the last few years Most free sunny days that I'm not at the beach I'm on my motorcycle. Definitely don't wanna miss any group rides with my dad.. a few of us only took lessons and bought bikes because he wanted to ride as a bucket list item in the first place, so it'd be a shame to skip out on riding with him when realistically if he lives long enough to get out this Summer this is likely his Last riding season before his soul journeys to the stars.

I suppose riding around on a motorcycle the last couple years or so counts as some adventure, though.

International travel: I've never gone overseas. There are some places I want to go, but, I'd want to go With someone. Possibility that in the not so distant future I might just pay to take a friend or family member along with me that I'd enjoy having there vs. not go ever because I don't want to go solo. Travelling partner problem can be solved for a mere couple thousand dollars or whatever.


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jimmyjazzuk
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04 Feb 2023, 5:00 pm

When you find your automatic pilot taking over and.your logging onto social media try to ask yourself is this really what I want to do?

Mindfulness and setting an intention for the day in the morning is a good start.



goldfish21
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04 Feb 2023, 6:18 pm

jimmyjazzuk wrote:
When you find your automatic pilot taking over and.your logging onto social media try to ask yourself is this really what I want to do?

Mindfulness and setting an intention for the day in the morning is a good start.


Totally!

That’s why work and making other scheduled commitments are so valuable.

Far too easy to waste daaaaays online. I know.. I do it.


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goldfish21
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05 Feb 2023, 1:10 pm

All those things are just marketing to sell the idea of a well lived life to people.. multiple prongs to this. They could be marketing those activities, promoting exercise/active lifestyle, selling retirement investments and the image of an "ideal," life, or perhaps more just generally making people feel less-than for not doing those things in order to put them in the mindset to part with their money for whatever they're selling, could be those things, could be beer. None of it is most poeples' reality, though.

PERSONALLY, I am attracted to some of these activities - marketing or no marketing. I ENJOY harnessing myself to a giant fkn kite and surfing on the ocean -> I will forgo sex to go do that instead. I LIKE hopping on my motorcycle and riding 700kms through the mountains and back home in a single day. I've snowboarded, mountain biked, hiked, paddleboarded etc. But not because some advertisement told me I ought to do those things, but because really truly I enjoy them and feel alive doing them. My only regret is not Making Time to do them more over the last few years. :/ I let depression/ptsd and possibly internet addiction steal my time instead.

But in general, a very low % of the population is drawn to participating in these things and the rest just think it makes a really neat beer commercial or bit of television to watch a Redbull event or something. My take is that each person should do the things that make THEM feel alive and have lived a life worth living. If that's travelling, then travel. Woodworking? Make furniture and picture frames! Writing? Write a book or screenplay or poems or whatever - the only takeaway you should really have from those adverts is that whatever Thing excites You you should make an effort to Do vs. regret not doing it while you can. IMO.


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