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Gammeldans
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05 Feb 2023, 5:05 am

Howdy folks!
What is good and bad about having groups with "aspies" doing activites or just going to a café together?

Do you think such groups are easier for us?

I never really understood why socializing with "aspies" would be easier than with other people.
I can say that it can even be more difficult at times. It all depends on the person. It can be easier and it can be harder.

What do you experts say about this?



cyberdad
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05 Feb 2023, 5:19 am

In my experience watching > 5 aspies in the same room is like watching a herd of cats.



Gammeldans
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05 Feb 2023, 6:03 am

cyberdad wrote:
In my experience watching > 5 aspies in the same room is like watching a herd of cats.

:?: :?: :?:



Mona Pereth
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06 Feb 2023, 2:15 pm

Gammeldans wrote:
Howdy folks!
What is good and bad about having groups with "aspies" doing activites or just going to a café together?

The term "aspies" is a bit dated, but apart from that issue....

Gammeldans wrote:
Do you think such groups are easier for us?

Depends on how the group is run. In my opinion, it can work well if there are people in charge who make a specific point of being friendly to newcomers. This is harder for autistic people than for NT's, for obvious reasons, but it can be done.

Gammeldans wrote:
I never really understood why socializing with "aspies" would be easier than with other people.

It's easier in some ways, harder in other ways. Easier because of the things we have in common, and because there's less pressure to conform to arbitrary social norms. Harder because many of us have difficulty initiating and sustaining conversations, and because it tends to be harder for autistic people than for NT's to be good, attentive host(esse)s.

(But many NT-oriented groups are led by people who aren't terribly good, attentive host(esse)s anyway, even though this would be much easier for them if they were to try. Groups of all kinds tend to become cliquish unless they make a specific effort not to be.)

Gammeldans wrote:
I can say that it can even be more difficult at times. It all depends on the person. It can be easier and it can be harder.

Agreed.


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Blue_Star
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06 Feb 2023, 2:22 pm

Herding Cats



It is an ad, but it's very illustrative of "herding cats" & what it'd look like.

Gammeldans wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
In my experience watching > 5 aspies in the same room is like watching a herd of cats.

:?: :?: :?:



Double Retired
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06 Feb 2023, 2:54 pm

Off Topic
Perhaps take a lesson from Mensa where the wisdom is:

Herding Mensans is like herding cats—all you need is food.

Aspies eat, too!


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Joe90
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06 Feb 2023, 4:43 pm

There are autism groups that exist that people go to, and I'm sure the people in those groups don't act like a herd of wild animals when they're together.

People on WP bicker but I don't feel it's to do with autism at all, because people on non-autism-specific sites bicker too, about the same sort of things, usually politics.


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dracblau
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06 Feb 2023, 10:21 pm

In my experience there are good and bad things about ASD groups that meet at public venues, but they are the same issues that affect all groups in which people socialize.

There was a Meetup group I tried hanging out with that would meet at local cafes and restaurants, but as with any group there were individuals who would monopolize the conversations, and others who were quiet and would end up being ignored and left out. I am one of the quiet ones. Eventually it was not worth it for me to go to these gatherings, but I did make enough acquaintances that I would end up asking a few of the people I got along with if we could meet outside of this particular group and that worked out much better. Without the individuals who monopolized conversations things were much more pleasant.