What motivates someone to have children?

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No, seriously. Ignoring the whole sex aspect for a moment here. I know people who are only a bit older than me having kids and I have to wonder, why? No judgement, just confusion. What drives it? I'm already bored of life, wondering what I even do with myself at this point to keep things interesting, what's motivating people to start families? Boredom? Love? Obligation?

Someone to get your stuff when you die.

My husband made me write an essay for him, to defend why I wanted children.

(Yeah, I know .... )


All I remember from it is that I said it was a natural next step or progression.
I think I was just following social norms.

I don't remember thinking for myself about anything back then.
I mean, I wanted children ... but I have / had no idea why.
Same reason I got married at 22.
I left Uni and didn't want to go back to my parents so I got married.
It didn't occur to me there were any other options.

I didn't stop to think how much work kids would be, or how it would fit with my (undx at the time) ASD.

I feel lust causes a lot of children to be unplanned.

Some people think it's romantic, like the union of them with another person.
I guess that's true, but it's not necessarily romantic.

The main elements, IMO, are:
-Instinct.
-Lack of rational thinking.
-Family and social brainwashing/expectations.
-Personal selfishness.
-Accidents.



I believe this is a phase you are going through.
I experienced the same when I was younger.

To be klear:
I consider procreation a very selfish act and does a disservice to the innocent child that is forced "kicking and skreaming" into this unfortunate life system.

<satire mode on>
Think back to when you were conceived.
Were you given a choice?
Something is not right, here.
</satire>

There are cultures where having a dozen children is a virtual guarantee that there is someone to look after you when you are old.
Why a dozen or more?
Because the procreators know that, in all probability, half will die early.

I believe this type of thinking adds value to my thinking that procreation is essentially a selfish act.
I believe most adolescents have thought so if not expressed this to their parents directly.

"Love makes ppl crazy".
"Love" is "nature's trick" to get the procreation process going in most situations, these days in western societies.

some people are spiritual and want to give other spirits a crack at this life thing.

I really wanted to have a baby. There was something primal about my longing for one.

Having my son was enough.

I still wish I could be around babies more - other people’s babies that wouldn’t keep me up at night.

Why?

love. a diluted form of agape.

Some of the reasons why I want to have kids is because I am Quiverfull and I want kids to leave my money to.I also want kids because I want to be a elder in the church and you have to have two kids to do that in the church of Christ.I have other reasons to like wanting someone to hunt,fish,camp, and shoot with.

^^^how much of that desire manifests as a genuine wish to enable others to experience life in itself?

I just want my kids to have a better life than I did but I have not really thought about in the way you were talking about.But I genuinly want my kids to enjoy the type of childhood in rural Texas and do things like killing their first buck with me like I did with my dad and my dad did with his dad.I want genuinly want to enable my kids to experience the life as church of Christ kids that I did.

Aside from Pepe's rather disturbing point of view, the reason why you would is because fruits of your labor can be rewarding, seeing the child's excitement of discovery, their progress, engaging with their developing mind, seeing them think and ask questions you do your best answering, passing your knowledge and experience (if your life was actually worth a damn), values, and the philosophy of them. And finally the peace of mind when you're old, knowing that you did it, or you tried your best, you can have that straight honesty with yourself that you didn't waste your time on this earth as opposed to have spent it mentally chasing gang-stalkers. Hopefully if you did everything right you won't be alone in your final years.

You would know this if you ever took care of someone and had seen thier life improve. Myself I've had the pleasure of contributing to someone in multiple instances in recent years. It made my bleak and pointless life have purpose, and gained some self-worth. It's appropriate for those who are able to focus on people dear to them, and able to tune out everyone else. If you hate each and every person... Then, yeah.

Ask yourself the question, do you have anything to give? I found "yes" to be the answer for myself.

It's a much better investment of energy in the long term than an animal, should you compare.

Last edited by Cornflake on 06 Feb 2023, 2:49 am, edited 2 times in total.: Removed a personal attack