i made a girl cry on the bus today

Page 3 of 5 [ 80 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 68,617
Location: Chez Quis

10 Feb 2023, 8:52 pm

We agree with Fairfield.

It's OK to be annoyed, but it's not OK to lose your cool when you're responsible for a large bus and all the passengers' lives on it. I know you pulled to the side of the road but imo this could be considered evidence that you aren't managing anger and frustration very well. You said you already have a history of being hospitalised because of public meltdowns. Driver conduct is important and should be beyond reproach. Even if you were angry or upset, imo you should have dealt with this differently instead of taking it out on one person.

Many teachers and doctors are autistic too and they don't get to humiliate or castigate students or patients. These days we won't even accept police singling someone out and yelling at them or being sarcastic. Cops are taught how to communicate calmly just like everyone else.

Your last post:
You never said you apologised.
What were you supposed to do?
.... I don't know - Follow your rulebook, I assume.
Can you post a photo of your rules for how to deal with litter?


_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.


Caz72
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,394
Location: England

10 Feb 2023, 8:59 pm

your always having a go at me like everything i do is wrong in your eyes

i never shouted or showed any aggression or sarcasm

i was nice to her when she was getting off

i wasnt just directing it at her personally when she picked the bottle up i was actually saying it to all the passengers which there was only about 8 on the bus at that time and all seemed to be college students and they are well known for making a mess on the buses

i always tell people to pick up their trash if i hear it being dropped on to the floor

im not gonna beat myself up over this like you want me to.im just me.


_________________
Have diagnosis of autism.
Have a neurotypical son.


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 68,617
Location: Chez Quis

10 Feb 2023, 9:05 pm

I don't have a go at you.
I find what you write to be confusing most of the time.
Many of your posts have contradictory ideas or feelings.
I'm very literal to I try to make sense of them by asking questions.

I've offered you all sorts of compassionate advice in the past on various topics.
I almost always respond to you because I think you want support.
Then it usually turns out you don't want support.

No matter what I say you think I'm attacking you.
I'd stop replying but you've said people don't respond to you enough.
You even said you thought people don't like you.
I'm trying to support you but I can't tell what you wanted in this thread.

If it's a news flash then great - Glad you had a nice day.


_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.


Caz72
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,394
Location: England

10 Feb 2023, 9:12 pm

i just mean you seem to moralise alot of stuff and give too much no you should do this you should do that
like in my thread about splitting up from my husband according to you it was very wrong to date my husbands friend

i know people can have opinions but you lecture your beliefs on to people iv seen u do it to others members too then they beat themselves up because they find your response too harsh

i dobt think i contradict i just dont always explain exactly how things happened in precise detail and
writing isnt my strong suit


_________________
Have diagnosis of autism.
Have a neurotypical son.


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 68,617
Location: Chez Quis

10 Feb 2023, 9:19 pm

I'm actually on a date right now and writing just to make sure you feel supported.
I'm sorry if you think I moralise.
That's far from my intention.
Based on the info you've given about your past abuse, I was looking out for your best interest.
I wanted you to be safe.

You said you didn't like that man.
You said your husband was hitting you, and trying to hook you up with the dude.
I gave the same advice I'd give any other vulnerable woman / person.
That advice is for your personal safety.
Other members said the exact same thing that I did.
Maybe mine seems more direct because I don't mince words.
It's still the same sentiment as everyone else, though.

I won't comment anymore on your posts.


_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.


Caz72
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,394
Location: England

10 Feb 2023, 9:31 pm

i didnt want support in this thread

but you do tell people off in your posts not just me but other members iv seen

just enjoy your date dont worry about me just think of yourself for once and enjoy


_________________
Have diagnosis of autism.
Have a neurotypical son.


Aprilviolets
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,070

10 Feb 2023, 11:06 pm

There was a bottle rolling around in the bus I was on yesterday, a passenger picked it up and put it in the little bin at the front.
Another time there was a woman that came on the bus swearing at someone on her phone the bus driver told her to stop swearing but she still kept on and throwing things on the floor, luckily she got off when she found she was on the wrong bus, the driver apologised to the rest of us and had to clean up her mess.



Where_am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,392
Location: London

13 Feb 2023, 1:40 pm

Caz72 wrote:
i didnt want support in this thread

but you do tell people off in your posts not just me but other members iv seen

just enjoy your date dont worry about me just think of yourself for once and enjoy

I strongly disagree with this.

I've only seen compassionate and logical posts from Issy (especially in 'bump if you're awake' :P ). There is no telling off in them. Even the problematic posts and personal attacks aimed at Issy are always responded to respectfully, no matter how much crap is thrown their way. You only need to take a look on L&D for proof of that.

Some people don't like to hear the truth of their situation, behaviour, nor be questioned around these things, and feel they are being told off.

There are some members on here who make an extremely valuable contribution on WP by supporting members and addressing problematic posts, and Issy is no doubt one of these members.

In response to your OP: like Fairfield said, stopping the bus and asking someone to pick it up is all that needed to be done and said. It would be dangerous for them to pick it up while the bus was moving. I very much doubt the passenger threw the bottle on the floor. Anyone that did that wouldn't bother picking it up, and would probably tell you to f**k off - not pick it and cry after being told off in front of all the other passengers.


_________________
"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis


Caz72
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,394
Location: England

13 Feb 2023, 9:28 pm

was just showing my authority


_________________
Have diagnosis of autism.
Have a neurotypical son.


Misslizard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,471
Location: Aux Arcs

14 Feb 2023, 11:45 am

My ex drove a school bus and they got filthy.He had to hose it out to clean it.
A bottle rolling around on the floor could break and cut someone.
I would have just asked someone to pick it up please.The person may have just set it down when the bus was stopped and it fell over when the bus started moving.


_________________
I am the dust that dances in the light. - Rumi


nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,125
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

17 Feb 2023, 7:07 am

I was on a bus a couple months ago & there was a big heavy metal bottle rolling around on the floor making a lot of noise, imagine a round brick rolling around. I'm suddenly wondering if someone got it to have as an inconspicuous self-defense weapon :chin: I picked it up & brought it next to the trash can. The driver thanked me for doing it because it was making a lot of noise earlier some time before I got on but then the bottle got stuck or something & quit rolling around for a while so the driver thought someone had taken care of it. I'm glad I picked it up cuz of how noisy it was.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

17 Feb 2023, 8:55 am

It is annoying and distracting when a bottle keeps rolling around the bus floor. From my experience of getting public transport, you are allowed to get out of your seat when picking something up.

Some bus drivers just have their own rules. I've been humiliated by a bus driver before and it made me cry. Some drivers just like to have that sense of power. I don't think the OP needs to be lectured about it.


_________________
Female


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

17 Feb 2023, 9:21 am

The reason why people are afraid to pick up a bottle on the bus----is because people are paranoid that the bottle might contain disease germs.

Yes...or sometimes they are just lazy.

I've picked up bottles before. Other times, I was sort of concerned about germs, so I didn't pick up the bottle.

Even in the best of times, there is a high degree of paranoia within public transport.

I don't litter on public transportation.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,125
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

17 Feb 2023, 9:38 am

Joe90 wrote:
It is annoying and distracting when a bottle keeps rolling around the bus floor. From my experience of getting public transport, you are allowed to get out of your seat when picking something up.

Some bus drivers just have their own rules. I've been humiliated by a bus driver before and it made me cry. Some drivers just like to have that sense of power. I don't think the OP needs to be lectured about it.
I find it confusing & frustrating when different drivers have different rules. I get that some things are dependent on the exact circumstances but it's a problem when different drivers expect passengers to just know. Like one driver wants passengers to enter on the front of the bus & get off in the back, & another driver wants passengers to enter on the back & get off in the front, & the drivers get upset because the passengers don't automatically know which door to use :wall: I can understand if your using two different bus systems but each system should have a standard policy for that. If the drivers don't care the enforce the policy that's fine but if the driver expects the passengers to do it differently for whatever reason the driver should tell them clearly & not get upset because they don't just somehow know.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,547
Location: Stalag 13

18 Feb 2023, 5:26 pm

Caz72 wrote:
if passenger is causing offense or disturbance on the bus the driver can contact the depot or the police if its that bad

im quite stern i mean there isnt a law to say we have to tell passengers to pick up their trash but we do have the right to if we think its going to cause a hazard

yes i do sometimes get carried away with authority thats why some call me hitler down at the depot


I know this is an old thread, but I'm going to add my 2 cents, anyways. I don't think you did anything wrong. You spoke your mind. I think the girl was just having a bad day. She might have been crying about other things as well. Here are some Sweet Pea hugs as well.


_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?


TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 21,606
Location: Hell

18 Feb 2023, 5:48 pm

IMO it wasn’t very nice to call her out on it.

There’s no need to show one’s authority. Just ask nicely for someone to pick it up if it’s causing a problem. It didn’t need to become a thing.


_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess