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Autism - "different" or "inferior" WRT relationships?

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Nades
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18 Feb 2023, 11:27 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Going the “mail order bride” route is a recipe for disaster.

Stop with this crap about people with autism being “inferior.” That we can’t find romance on our own.

This sort of thinking perpetuates the myth that people with autism can’t find love on our own.

And all this crap about blow-up dolls and all that.

This kind of talk makes us look bad.


Being inferior doesn't mean unable.

Let's be real here, a developmental disorder puts people at a disadvantage and makes them inferior when it comes to most things social in nature.

Denying it only makes people suffering from autism lack in self-awareness. If you have autism it's important to understand your strengths and weaknesses.


Moderator note - this thread was created from a long off-topic argument in "What Am I Even Supposed To Do To?" in Love and Dating, here: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=410633#p9195878



kraftiekortie
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18 Feb 2023, 11:30 am

I certainly don’t want abuse survivors to feel like they are targets.

And I believe we should seek ways to overcome the “inferiority” that we are allegedly born with.

We can compensate. We don’t have to give in to “nature.”



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18 Feb 2023, 11:36 am

Nades wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Going the “mail order bride” route is a recipe for disaster.

Stop with this crap about people with autism being “inferior.” That we can’t find romance on our own.

This sort of thinking perpetuates the myth that people with autism can’t find love on our own.

And all this crap about blow-up dolls and all that.

This kind of talk makes us look bad.


Being inferior doesn't mean unable.

Let's be real here, a developmental disorder puts people at a disadvantage and makes them inferior when it comes to most things social in nature.

I think that’s an awful attitude to have towards neurodiversity.

Quote:
Denying it only makes people suffering from autism lack in self-awareness. If you have autism it's important to understand your strengths and weaknesses.


Every person in the world has strengths and weaknesses - everyone except for me. I’m practically perfect in every way.


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Nades
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18 Feb 2023, 11:37 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I certainly don’t want abuse survivors to feel like they are targets.

And I believe we should seek ways to overcome the “inferiority” that we are allegedly born with.

We can compensate. We don’t have to give in to “nature.”


Yes indeed we should. This is best done (at least in my opinion) by focusing on other areas of life an autistic can control.



Nades
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18 Feb 2023, 11:41 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
Nades wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Going the “mail order bride” route is a recipe for disaster.

Stop with this crap about people with autism being “inferior.” That we can’t find romance on our own.

This sort of thinking perpetuates the myth that people with autism can’t find love on our own.

And all this crap about blow-up dolls and all that.

This kind of talk makes us look bad.


Being inferior doesn't mean unable.

Let's be real here, a developmental disorder puts people at a disadvantage and makes them inferior when it comes to most things social in nature.

I think that’s an awful attitude to have towards neurodiversity.

Quote:
Denying it only makes people suffering from autism lack in self-awareness. If you have autism it's important to understand your strengths and weaknesses.


Every person in the world has strengths and weaknesses - everyone except for me. I’m practically perfect in every way.


Hmmmm. Why is it that an autism website is full of people who don't know what autism is?

Neurodiversity isn't something that's always a good trait. Autism causes no end of problems for the sufferer and can't be cured. It puts them at a distinct disadvantage in any social situation, including dating and relationships.



kraftiekortie
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18 Feb 2023, 11:45 am

It’s better to concentrate on “other things” other than the pursuit of romance.

Concentrate on strengths to offset alleged weaknesses.

And that goes for everyone.



TwilightPrincess
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18 Feb 2023, 11:48 am

Nades wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Nades wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Going the “mail order bride” route is a recipe for disaster.

Stop with this crap about people with autism being “inferior.” That we can’t find romance on our own.

This sort of thinking perpetuates the myth that people with autism can’t find love on our own.

And all this crap about blow-up dolls and all that.

This kind of talk makes us look bad.


Being inferior doesn't mean unable.

Let's be real here, a developmental disorder puts people at a disadvantage and makes them inferior when it comes to most things social in nature.

I think that’s an awful attitude to have towards neurodiversity.

Quote:
Denying it only makes people suffering from autism lack in self-awareness. If you have autism it's important to understand your strengths and weaknesses.


Every person in the world has strengths and weaknesses - everyone except for me. I’m practically perfect in every way.


Hmmmm. Why is it that an autism website is full of people who don't know what autism is?

Neurodiversity isn't something that's always a good trait. Autism causes no end of problems for the sufferer and can't be cured. It puts them at a distinct disadvantage in any social situation, including dating and relationships.


Having autism usually comes with certain challenges, but it does NOT make one inferior!


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Nades
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18 Feb 2023, 11:51 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
It’s better to concentrate on “other things” other than the pursuit of romance.

Concentrate on strengths to offset alleged weaknesses.

And that goes for everyone.


Pretty much yeah. Romance often follows success in some way, shape or form.

An autistic is stacking the odds heavily against them if they're unemployed, on the heavier end and can't drive.

The odds in that case are not just against finding a significant other but also against themselves in general.

I'm strongly in favour of autistics doubling down on cars, jobs and bodies.



Nades
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18 Feb 2023, 11:52 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
Nades wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Nades wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Going the “mail order bride” route is a recipe for disaster.

Stop with this crap about people with autism being “inferior.” That we can’t find romance on our own.

This sort of thinking perpetuates the myth that people with autism can’t find love on our own.

And all this crap about blow-up dolls and all that.

This kind of talk makes us look bad.


Being inferior doesn't mean unable.

Let's be real here, a developmental disorder puts people at a disadvantage and makes them inferior when it comes to most things social in nature.

I think that’s an awful attitude to have towards neurodiversity.

Quote:
Denying it only makes people suffering from autism lack in self-awareness. If you have autism it's important to understand your strengths and weaknesses.


Every person in the world has strengths and weaknesses - everyone except for me. I’m practically perfect in every way.


Hmmmm. Why is it that an autism website is full of people who don't know what autism is?

Neurodiversity isn't something that's always a good trait. Autism causes no end of problems for the sufferer and can't be cured. It puts them at a distinct disadvantage in any social situation, including dating and relationships.


Having autism usually comes with certain challenges, but it does NOT make one inferior!


In social situations it more often than not does.



TwilightPrincess
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18 Feb 2023, 11:55 am

Different does not mean inferior.


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Nades
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18 Feb 2023, 12:01 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Different does not mean inferior.


To be diagnosed with autism, a psychologist needs to compare the social and communication skills of the person being assessed to that of the general public. If the psychologist notices they're not as good as the general public to an extent that they're a hindrance, that person gets a diagnosis for autism.

That, in a nutshell is what autism is. It means communication and social skills are inferior to the general public.

You're practically trying to deny autism even exists.



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18 Feb 2023, 12:15 pm

Nades wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Different does not mean inferior.


To be diagnosed with autism, a psychologist needs to compare the social and communication skills of the person being assessed to that of the general public. If the psychologist notices they're not as good as the general public to an extent that they're a hindrance, that person gets a diagnosis for autism.

That, in a nutshell is what autism is. It means communication and social skills are inferior to the general public.

You're practically trying to deny autism even exists.


No, I’m saying that being different doesn’t make one inferior.


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Nades
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18 Feb 2023, 12:31 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Nades wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Different does not mean inferior.


To be diagnosed with autism, a psychologist needs to compare the social and communication skills of the person being assessed to that of the general public. If the psychologist notices they're not as good as the general public to an extent that they're a hindrance, that person gets a diagnosis for autism.

That, in a nutshell is what autism is. It means communication and social skills are inferior to the general public.

You're practically trying to deny autism even exists.


No, I’m saying that being different doesn’t make one inferior.


Why are you taking everything out of context for? You knew I meant it from the perspective of communication and social skills in which case we are inferior.

What's up with all this mental gymnastics and obtuseness here? Literally half my posts now are telling people on a website predicated to the notion of autism existing that autism actually exists. I know you're going to try and respond saying you never said that.....but you did. You just call developmentally delayed social and communication skills a "difference" or "diverse" and trying your hardest to deny that people with autism have developmental communication and social skill problems at all. I've never seen so many people try harder to deny autism exists than here.

What's next? Water not being wet anymore?



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18 Feb 2023, 12:36 pm

“Social and communication skills” that deviate from the norm are not inferior.

Stating that does not mean that I think autism doesn’t exist.


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18 Feb 2023, 12:39 pm

Nades wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Different does not mean inferior.


To be diagnosed with autism, a psychologist needs to compare the social and communication skills of the person being assessed to that of the general public. If the psychologist notices they're not as good as the general public to an extent that they're a hindrance, that person gets a diagnosis for autism.

That, in a nutshell is what autism is. It means communication and social skills are inferior to the general public.

You're practically trying to deny autism even exists.


You're suggesting that neurotypical communication is better, just because it's more "typical".
I don't see it as better.

One distinguishing feature is that NTs are able to lie, where we are not (or we have difficulty).
NTs are known for saying one thing, but meaning another.
They don't mean what they say.
They are better at masking their intention, meaning they can deceive and mislead people.
They interpret other people's facial expressions to mean things they likely don't mean.
Nearly all narcissists and sociopaths / psychopaths are NT.

You're forgetting that Autistic people are loyal, honest, and focussed on details.
We are poets and writers and dreamers because of our sensory awareness.
We are hard working and tend to get highly-skilled jobs.
We usually have more empathy than the average bear.
We like being alone with one or two people instead of big parties.
That makes Autistics prime dating material, imo.

We can be just as good looking or sexual as anyone else, if that matters too.


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18 Feb 2023, 12:43 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
“Social and communication skills” that deviate from the norm are not inferior.

Stating that does not mean that I think autism doesn’t exist.


You keep saying that autism doesn't exist.

Underdeveloped social and communication skills too, stop taking what I say out of context. You knew what I said and you know what autism entails. Changing the words you use to refer to autism doesn't change the diagnostic criteria for autism.

It's underdevelopment of social and communication skills. Not a "difference".

I honestly need to ask Cornflake to sticky the DSM diagnostic manual criteria for autism here. The lack of understanding and intentional ignorance here about what autism entails is getting appalling. It makes any meaningful discussion here almost impossible.