Conversations vs Disagreements

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Pepe
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24 Feb 2023, 12:22 am

Joe90 wrote:
I meant it was an honest mistake on my part. I just need to stop being so paranoid. It doesn't matter now. I like this thread, it has some good points.


Of course, it does.
I am posting after all. 8)



IsabellaLinton
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24 Feb 2023, 12:31 am

I don't usually have a problem reading emojis.
I meant that when I use them people often get confused what they mean.
I'm referring to email and other places, not just here.

I give up with communication.
It seems no matter how hard I try, people accuse me of being cryptic.

From now on I'll just post music because it seems to do the trick.
In real life I guess I'll learn ASL or continue being monosyllabic.



Pepe
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24 Feb 2023, 1:10 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't usually have a problem reading emojis.


Some ppl do:
Quote:
MaxE wrote:
Somebody mentioned emojis. My impression is that those making liberal use of emojis do so with the intent to annoy. It feels as though they're mocking those with whom they disagree.



I enjoy using emojis.
I just do.
Is it an autistic thing?
Or is it simply a personal quirk?
Not sure, but as I have said, I think it is a benefit/aid for those on the spectrum who can use them as clues/hints about where ppl are coming from.

I find it satisfying to add them into a conversation, and, after all, they are on offer and I suspect ppl can turn them off in preference.



Where_am_I
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24 Feb 2023, 1:16 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't usually have a problem reading emojis.
I meant that when I use them people often get confused what they mean.
I'm referring to email and other places, not just here.

I give up with communication.
It seems no matter how hard I try, people accuse me of being cryptic.

From now on I'll just post music because it seems to do the trick.
In real life I guess I'll learn ASL or continue being monosyllabic.


You are not cryptic. You're straightforward.

WP would be insufferable if you stopped expressing yourself in writing.


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Pepe
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24 Feb 2023, 1:20 am

Where_am_I wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't usually have a problem reading emojis.
I meant that when I use them people often get confused what they mean.
I'm referring to email and other places, not just here.

I give up with communication.
It seems no matter how hard I try, people accuse me of being cryptic.

From now on I'll just post music because it seems to do the trick.
In real life I guess I'll learn ASL or continue being monosyllabic.


You are not cryptic. You're straightforward.

WP would be insufferable if you stopped expressing yourself in writing.


To be klear, I used the word "ambiguous", not "cryptic".
The CONTEXT was ambiguous.
I.E. It could have been taken a couple of ways.

I simply asked Isabella for klarification.
"No harm, no foul."



Joe90
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24 Feb 2023, 2:29 am

It was an easy mistake to make. I said I was sorry and that I should stop being so paranoid that people here are ganging up on me. But I have been a bit of an as*hole here lately so that's why I feel easily unforgivable. Anybody could have misinterpreted that, as I can't read people's minds.


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Pepe
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24 Feb 2023, 3:23 am

Joe90 wrote:
It was an easy mistake to make. I said I was sorry and that I should stop being so paranoid that people here are ganging up on me. But I have been a bit of an as*hole here lately so that's why I feel easily unforgivable. Anybody could have misinterpreted that, as I can't read people's minds.


Look ppl!
It's all Joe's fault!
The skunk has been vindicated. 8)

Joe, I am joking, OK? :mrgreen:



Joe90
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24 Feb 2023, 6:13 am

Pepe wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
It was an easy mistake to make. I said I was sorry and that I should stop being so paranoid that people here are ganging up on me. But I have been a bit of an as*hole here lately so that's why I feel easily unforgivable. Anybody could have misinterpreted that, as I can't read people's minds.


Look ppl!
It's all Joe's fault!
The skunk has been vindicated. 8)

Joe, I am joking, OK? :mrgreen:


I know. :lol:


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Cornflake
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24 Feb 2023, 7:52 am

Pepe wrote:
BTW, can't you turn off emojis somewhere?
Yes, but not totally.
My Account --> Board preferences --> Edit display options, then set Display smilies as images to No, then click the Submit button.

WP-sourced smilies will now display as their text equivalent: :lol: as ":lol:", :roll: as ":roll:" and so on.


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FleaOfTheChill
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24 Feb 2023, 8:15 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I give up with communication.
It seems no matter how hard I try, people accuse me of being cryptic.

From now on I'll just post music because it seems to do the trick.
In real life I guess I'll learn ASL or continue being monosyllabic.


I always like your posts and haven't found them to be cryptic or anything. From my perspective, you seem to be one of those posters here who simply say what they mean and mean what they say (and in coherent/articulate way/s at that). I do understand though, that some people can and will read more into words. That sort of thing has happened to me numerous times in life. It can be frustrating when you say and mean one thing yet others find meaning beyond that. I think in a lot of cases, it's just human nature when folks do that because of language has evolved. A lot of times it's the very things that people do not directly say that seem to hold the most weight in conversations for them. That's likely a huge part of why I'm such a crappy communicator. I rarely if ever see that extra stuff and rarely if ever insert all that into my words. Generally, I have no idea how to do all that stuff. It seems like a lot of work to me. Maybe I'm lazy. Or oblivious. Or both.

I ramble. I hope you keep on posting words. I mean, songs are good to, but I'd miss your words. My two cents.



Pepe
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25 Feb 2023, 2:15 am

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
A lot of times it's the very things that people do not directly say that seem to hold the most weight in conversations for them. That's likely a huge part of why I'm such a crappy communicator. I rarely if ever see that extra stuff and rarely if ever insert all that into my words. Generally, I have no idea how to do all that stuff. It seems like a lot of work to me. Maybe I'm lazy. Or oblivious. Or both.


I am not talking about posts in this thread, but there is sometimes an "entire world" of meaning "written between the lines", and is often due to the history of the ppl involved in the interaction.
To an unenlightened observer, the "secret" communication process is invisible. 8)



Joe90
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25 Feb 2023, 5:47 am

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
A lot of times it's the very things that people do not directly say that seem to hold the most weight in conversations for them


Yes, this is true for me. I tend to think that people here are doing that. And people here have done that before.
I remember a few years ago a member (they left ages ago) wrote a thread about how much they hated this site. I knew I had had a little disagreement with them because they'd criticised me in one of my threads about a personal problem of mine. So I said that I hoped I wasn't responsible for hating the site, and they exploded at me "YOU'RE THE EXACT REASON THIS SITE IS TOXIC" then hurled a load of verbal abuse at me, swearing and all. Ever since then I've always been paranoid that people are cryptically talking about me.


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FleaOfTheChill
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25 Feb 2023, 10:48 am

Pepe wrote:
I am not talking about posts in this thread, but there is sometimes an "entire world" of meaning "written between the lines", and is often due to the history of the ppl involved in the interaction.
To an unenlightened observer, the "secret" communication process is invisible. 8)


Yep. That sort of thing is, 99 out of 100 times, going to fly right past me. Other people seem to pick up on those subliminal messages, even if they don't get the meaning, but I won't even know it's happening unless someone tells me. The people talking in that 'secret code' have to be really obvious about it for me to catch it, sharing a laugh and passing what seems to be unrelated words out of nowhere might clue me in, but not much less than that. That makes sense to me though, people share history and develop those secret languages because of it. I've done that with people before...have those moments where the two of us are the only ones who understand a thing in a group of people. I've found interactions like those to be less damage causing though and more two people who have an established relationship sharing a harmless moment between themselves. On the rare occasions I do pick up on those things happening, I find it rather charming and my clueless self will be happy for them.



FleaOfTheChill
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25 Feb 2023, 11:10 am

Quote:
Yes, this is true for me. I tend to think that people here are doing that. And people here have done that before.
I remember a few years ago a member (they left ages ago) wrote a thread about how much they hated this site. I knew I had had a little disagreement with them because they'd criticised me in one of my threads about a personal problem of mine. So I said that I hoped I wasn't responsible for hating the site, and they exploded at me "YOU'RE THE EXACT REASON THIS SITE IS TOXIC" then hurled a load of verbal abuse at me, swearing and all. Ever since then I've always been paranoid that people are cryptically talking about me.


If I'm understanding correctly, and please correct me here if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you're saying you find yourself in a place where you're kinda on edge a lot and always wondering if the things you hear are a veiled attack. I think that sounds like an awful way to have to exist. It would drive me nuts. I'm not built for tension like that. I can't imagine that's doing you any favors for your overall mental health and well being. It also seems like it would create a lot of unnecessary problems for you in regards to interactions you have with others. I do understand how past experiences can make us all react and feel certain things, even things we'd rather not feel and ways we'd rather not react. Meh to past events living on in the present.

I'm trying to work out here how to say what I'm thinking. I'm wondering what it is that you do about having those thoughts when reading stuff here. What is the solution here? Is there one? I mean, from my perspective, if you are in fact never really sure how to take what people are saying, how do you work with that and not cause yourself hurt or cause others hurt? Or at least cause less hurt..oops moments can and will happen...that's life. But as much as I can think I'd dislike feeling that way when reading people's stuff, I also know what it's like to have people put meaning into my words when I didn't put them there myself. That sucks. A lot. I don't think you want to hurt others anymore than you want to feel your own hurt. Is there some kind of way to make that stuff happen less or get yourself to a place where that isn't your knee jerk reaction? I'm curious what kinds of stuff you do to deal with that kind of thing. I tend to be rather the opposite and take things at face value so I'm not really sure how you'd navigate all that.

I feel like I'm not making a ton of sense. I hope I am.



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25 Feb 2023, 12:18 pm

Joe90 wrote:
FleaOfTheChill wrote:
A lot of times it's the very things that people do not directly say that seem to hold the most weight in conversations for them


Yes, this is true for me. I tend to think that people here are doing that. And people here have done that before.
I remember a few years ago a member (they left ages ago) wrote a thread about how much they hated this site. I knew I had had a little disagreement with them because they'd criticised me in one of my threads about a personal problem of mine. So I said that I hoped I wasn't responsible for hating the site, and they exploded at me "YOU'RE THE EXACT REASON THIS SITE IS TOXIC" then hurled a load of verbal abuse at me, swearing and all. Ever since then I've always been paranoid that people are cryptically talking about me.


Yeah you seem to create a lot of negative attention for some reason. I've noticed this about you. I don't think you do purposely invite it though.

I try to stay away from drama on here. So I'm not gonna get too involved.


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25 Feb 2023, 12:25 pm

babybird wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
FleaOfTheChill wrote:
A lot of times it's the very things that people do not directly say that seem to hold the most weight in conversations for them


Yes, this is true for me. I tend to think that people here are doing that. And people here have done that before.
I remember a few years ago a member (they left ages ago) wrote a thread about how much they hated this site. I knew I had had a little disagreement with them because they'd criticised me in one of my threads about a personal problem of mine. So I said that I hoped I wasn't responsible for hating the site, and they exploded at me "YOU'RE THE EXACT REASON THIS SITE IS TOXIC" then hurled a load of verbal abuse at me, swearing and all. Ever since then I've always been paranoid that people are cryptically talking about me.


Yeah you seem to create a lot of negative attention for some reason. I've noticed this about you. I don't think you do purposely invite it though.

I try to stay away from drama on here. So I'm not gonna get too involved.


I don't really cause it but I do find myself in the middle of it and not sure how to get myself out of it. It's not really my personality though, and it doesn't happen on Facebook. Just here. Maybe I don't get along with other Aspies.

In this thread I did say sorry to Isabellalinton and admitted I made a mistake and I wanted to move on, but other people carried it on. Then the more people carry it on the more I will become paranoid when such behaviours are discussed in other threads.


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