My two older kids make our lives awful

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First off: don't panic, I am just frustrated tonight. I will get over it and regain my positivity tomorrow. I just need to scream into the void right now.

My two older kids, 7F and 5M are autistic with speech apraxia - non verbal autistic. They poop and pee on the floor. We have potties but they rarely use them. If we let them have access to a toilet, they stuff anything and everything they can find down the toilet.

They also refuse to keep clothes on. They are naked all the time in the house. Thankfully, they keep clothes on outside the house.

My 5 yo son is probably OCD as well and habitually rips paper and other things. He's ripped off most of the wall paper he can reach and shredded it.

My 7 yo daughter is queen of mayhem and if you turn your back for a second, she destroys things. We have almost every room locked off with chain locks. The most dreaded statement in our house is "Oh no, I left the door to ___ unlocked, they got to ____."

If they get to the kitchen, they dump all the eggs in the fridge on the floor, all the flour they can get to, etc. If its the laundry room, they dump the laundry detergent all over the floor. Today they got to a back room that was left unlocked and dumped epoxy all over the floor.

Most of the time, I have gotten myself into a positive mindset. But tonight after they went to sleep, I went to get my headphones so I could relax to some music and I realized my 5yo son had gotten to them and shredded the cord.

I have to admit, I am struggling with it. I avoid thinking like this, but I've admitted to myself that had I known what I know now, I would have not had kids. Its a dark direction go down and I am trying to remain positive.

My second daughter (third child) is what keeps me positive. She is very attached to me and is helpful. When I sweep up shreds of paper from my son, she follows me around with the dust collector thing and puts it on the ground.

Yeah, you know it'll pass, it's just a bad day.

I don't think you need any advice, but sometimes a bit of perspective can help.



https://www.choosingtherapy.com/regret-having-kids/

^ I'm not suggesting you need therapy just pointing out you are not alone.

Last edited by Recidivist on 05 Mar 2023, 2:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

Hha yeah that link has just normal stuff. My son peed on my coat the other day. It wasn't the first time at all either. If I forget to put my coat away in a locked room, he will take it and pee on it.

If I went to therapy, my wife would get mad that I am not there. I would also be paranoid at what the kids are doing when I am not there. My wife doesn't do a very good job at containing them. My headphones got broken because my wife was watching my son. He apparently hopped over a barrier and got them and then shredded the cord.

Theres no benefit to therapy really. I need drugs - I need like really good drugs, the kind you get from cartels.

You could be the perfect parent but just one minor oversight can make you feel like crap. I'm a smoker and once I forgot to put my lighter out of reach, I had a rough night and fell alseep while watching kids TV with my little one. I awoke with pure anxiety with my kid nowhere to be seen, I went into her bedroom just as she was setting fire to the carpet

That was over 25 years ago and I still feel bad about it

Valium is the drug you need

Congratulations on being normal!

I think there’d be something wrong if these things didn’t irritate you. Surprised you don’t vent here a bit more about them, really. Must mean you deal and cope with it well. Hopefully via healthy means like exercise or riding motorcycles.

My son set the field on fire and fell out of an open window once.Almost cut the dogs tail off with loppers but we caught him in time.
Kids.

Your kid sounds like a psychopath.

I feel for you. I only have the one 9 year old and she exhibits some of the behaviours you describe, although with less intensity. She's verbal which makes it much easier, she has at least stopped peeing on the floor although she still stuffs half a roll of toilet paper down on every visit to the bathroom. Her meltdowns get scary violent and she can be cruel to animals which I really struggle with.

She's plenty to deal with, but I feel like I have it much easier than you do. This is a good place to vent and get it all out. Most people here won't judge.

Most small children are.
He’s all grown now and works for the power company.