What is autism like?

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Same, it's never gone away. I think I first articulated that thought to myself as a teenager long before I had a diagnosis but it's never really ceased to be true.

You are right. That feeling never goes away. It's just that now, I actually intellectually know that I am a biological human. Back then, I literally wasn't sure because I felt so out of place.

Ah, the jury is still out on whether I'm a human or just two goblins in a costume.

Which would you prefer?

Well, the goblins would make my shortcomings as a human much more acceptable.

Not to mention explaining some other traits.

Like what?

LOL!

A lot of them can be lumped together under poor impulse control, although aggression, hoarding, poor organizational skills, tendency to not notice mess and some others come to mind. Goblin mode can't be turned off.

^ I can relate somewhat. I’ve never been aggressive though except for the whole dragon thing.

It definitely depends on circumstances; but if someone actively seeks a physical confrontation, they'll probably get it; or if another animal challenges me on my property, I don't retreat, I approach; if someone gets right in my face yelling, they might catch a headbutt for their troubles.

I got beat-up a lot when I was younger and gradually that 'cornered feral cat' response became really ingrained when dealing with actual threats. Learning to not freeze took awhile, but gradually I learned that if you 'take control' the other party can't, active aggression became a tool for making confrontations end more quickly and favourably.

I assume aggression and being hyper-competitive likely correlate. At the very least, I'm both.

Whether it's confrontations or other sorts of competitions, I like to win and I'm willing to work for it.

I tend to just freeze or retreat, if that’s an option. I don’t really do confrontation. I’m not competitive either although I was when I was a kid. I suppose trauma affects different people differently.

Retreat in good order is often the best response, so long as it's an option.

The older one gets the less acceptable red mist becomes as an excuse.

"Twilight Zone" is how I would've described it but when my bride told me about "Wrong Planet" I immediately liked that name, too. I think both are very descriptive.

And, yes, I did get a formal diagnosis:

>=>=>Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild)
>=>=>With a note that I also satisfied the criteria previously associated with Asperger's Syndrome.

I really did insist we stop for champagne on the way home from getting the diagnosis. And I got more champagne when the written diagnosis arrived in the mail.

Interesting. I'm certainly not immune to boredom, I'm intolerant of it and will move mountains to remove it, but when it strikes I feel it most acutely. Strangely enough I've not yet been bored while waiting for a flight. That's probably because I've only ever done long-haul flights and I've always been so anxious about getting lost, missing something important, or being turned away for not having the right documents or not behaving in the expected way that I'm fully occupied by hypervigilance, constantly error-checking and rearranging my baggage so that whatever I might next need is to hand.

I couldn't answer the poll because for me ASD is both good and bad. It feels like what it is - standing outside of society and its weird rituals and presumptions, feeling prone to accidentally making others think me odd, lazy, antisocial or whatever, many experiences seeming more intense that they are for others, having a slower and more thorough thinking and communication style than most people have or like, having something missing from my executive functioning (it's hard to know exactly what). It's a very complicated condition that may take more than a lifetime to fully understand, but it's likely possible for most people to get a reasonable-but-crude grasp of it within a week or so of first hearing of it, if they're prepared to study it diligently.

I have always felt so different and weird I don't understand people. I feel like I'm an imposter and I don't even feel like a person. Does anyone else feel this way? I've also heard people describe having autism as everyone else has a rulebook for life and people but nobody gave you one so you don't understand the rules. I really relate with that.

Very much so.