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What is autism like?

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What is autism like?
Is you're experience good or 40%  40%  [ 12 ]
Bad 60%  60%  [ 18 ]
Total votes : 30

funeralxempire
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05 Mar 2023, 11:53 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
skibum wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
It's like being some other sort of animal, awkwardly pretending to be human.
This is one of the best and most accurate descriptions that I have ever seen. I literally felt this when I was a young teen.

I still feel like that now.


Same, it's never gone away. I think I first articulated that thought to myself as a teenager long before I had a diagnosis but it's never really ceased to be true.


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skibum
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05 Mar 2023, 12:15 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
skibum wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
It's like being some other sort of animal, awkwardly pretending to be human.
This is one of the best and most accurate descriptions that I have ever seen. I literally felt this when I was a young teen.

I still feel like that now.


Same, it's never gone away. I think I first articulated that thought to myself as a teenager long before I had a diagnosis but it's never really ceased to be true.
You are right. That feeling never goes away. It's just that now, I actually intellectually know that I am a biological human. Back then, I literally wasn't sure because I felt so out of place.


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funeralxempire
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05 Mar 2023, 12:17 pm

skibum wrote:
You are right. That feeling never goes away. It's just that now, I actually intellectually know that I am a biological human. Back then, I literally wasn't sure because I felt so out of place.


Ah, the jury is still out on whether I'm a human or just two goblins in a costume. :mrgreen:


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TwilightPrincess
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05 Mar 2023, 12:25 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
skibum wrote:
You are right. That feeling never goes away. It's just that now, I actually intellectually know that I am a biological human. Back then, I literally wasn't sure because I felt so out of place.


Ah, the jury is still out on whether I'm a human or just two goblins in a costume. :mrgreen:

Which would you prefer?


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funeralxempire
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05 Mar 2023, 12:26 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
skibum wrote:
You are right. That feeling never goes away. It's just that now, I actually intellectually know that I am a biological human. Back then, I literally wasn't sure because I felt so out of place.


Ah, the jury is still out on whether I'm a human or just two goblins in a costume. :mrgreen:

Which would you prefer?


Well, the goblins would make my shortcomings as a human much more acceptable.

Not to mention explaining some other traits. :oops:


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TwilightPrincess
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05 Mar 2023, 12:28 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
skibum wrote:
You are right. That feeling never goes away. It's just that now, I actually intellectually know that I am a biological human. Back then, I literally wasn't sure because I felt so out of place.


Ah, the jury is still out on whether I'm a human or just two goblins in a costume. :mrgreen:

Which would you prefer?


Well, the goblins would make my shortcomings as a human much more acceptable.

Not to mention explaining some other traits. :oops:

Like what?


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skibum
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05 Mar 2023, 12:38 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
skibum wrote:
You are right. That feeling never goes away. It's just that now, I actually intellectually know that I am a biological human. Back then, I literally wasn't sure because I felt so out of place.


Ah, the jury is still out on whether I'm a human or just two goblins in a costume. :mrgreen:
LOL!


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funeralxempire
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05 Mar 2023, 12:49 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
skibum wrote:
You are right. That feeling never goes away. It's just that now, I actually intellectually know that I am a biological human. Back then, I literally wasn't sure because I felt so out of place.


Ah, the jury is still out on whether I'm a human or just two goblins in a costume. :mrgreen:

Which would you prefer?


Well, the goblins would make my shortcomings as a human much more acceptable.

Not to mention explaining some other traits. :oops:

Like what?


A lot of them can be lumped together under poor impulse control, although aggression, hoarding, poor organizational skills, tendency to not notice mess and some others come to mind. Goblin mode can't be turned off.


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05 Mar 2023, 1:18 pm

^ I can relate somewhat. I’ve never been aggressive though except for the whole dragon thing.


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funeralxempire
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05 Mar 2023, 1:50 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
^ I can relate somewhat. I’ve never been aggressive though except for the whole dragon thing.


It definitely depends on circumstances; but if someone actively seeks a physical confrontation, they'll probably get it; or if another animal challenges me on my property, I don't retreat, I approach; if someone gets right in my face yelling, they might catch a headbutt for their troubles.

I got beat-up a lot when I was younger and gradually that 'cornered feral cat' response became really ingrained when dealing with actual threats. Learning to not freeze took awhile, but gradually I learned that if you 'take control' the other party can't, active aggression became a tool for making confrontations end more quickly and favourably.

I assume aggression and being hyper-competitive likely correlate. At the very least, I'm both.

Whether it's confrontations or other sorts of competitions, I like to win and I'm willing to work for it.


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05 Mar 2023, 1:55 pm

I tend to just freeze or retreat, if that’s an option. I don’t really do confrontation. I’m not competitive either although I was when I was a kid. I suppose trauma affects different people differently.


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funeralxempire
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05 Mar 2023, 2:12 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
I tend to just freeze or retreat, if that’s an option. I don’t really do confrontation. I’m not competitive either although I was when I was a kid. I suppose trauma affects different people differently.


Retreat in good order is often the best response, so long as it's an option.

The older one gets the less acceptable red mist becomes as an excuse.


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05 Mar 2023, 2:53 pm

skibum wrote:
Double Retired wrote:
My Autism has been like being stranded on the Wrong Planet...and not knowing it.

Older folk might understand me when I say it has been like living in the Twilight Zone. It seems like the real world but there is a subtle, inexplicable undercurrent of strangeness and unpleasantness.
    :
    :
    :
Your Twilight Zone analogy is spot on. Were you able to get the diagnosis?
"Twilight Zone" is how I would've described it but when my bride told me about "Wrong Planet" I immediately liked that name, too. I think both are very descriptive.

And, yes, I did get a formal diagnosis:

>=>=>Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild)
>=>=>With a note that I also satisfied the criteria previously associated with Asperger's Syndrome.

I really did insist we stop for champagne on the way home from getting the diagnosis. And I got more champagne when the written diagnosis arrived in the mail.


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07 Mar 2023, 9:29 am

Urselius wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Everything is "too".

Too loud, too bright, too tight, too itchy, too anxious, too tired, too engrossed, too scattered, too particular ...

The only thing I've never experienced is boredom.


I am also totally immune to boredom, except in airports waiting for a flight. Probably due to being unable to settle enough to read.

Interesting. I'm certainly not immune to boredom, I'm intolerant of it and will move mountains to remove it, but when it strikes I feel it most acutely. Strangely enough I've not yet been bored while waiting for a flight. That's probably because I've only ever done long-haul flights and I've always been so anxious about getting lost, missing something important, or being turned away for not having the right documents or not behaving in the expected way that I'm fully occupied by hypervigilance, constantly error-checking and rearranging my baggage so that whatever I might next need is to hand.

I couldn't answer the poll because for me ASD is both good and bad. It feels like what it is - standing outside of society and its weird rituals and presumptions, feeling prone to accidentally making others think me odd, lazy, antisocial or whatever, many experiences seeming more intense that they are for others, having a slower and more thorough thinking and communication style than most people have or like, having something missing from my executive functioning (it's hard to know exactly what). It's a very complicated condition that may take more than a lifetime to fully understand, but it's likely possible for most people to get a reasonable-but-crude grasp of it within a week or so of first hearing of it, if they're prepared to study it diligently.



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07 Mar 2023, 9:35 pm

I have always felt so different and weird I don't understand people. I feel like I'm an imposter and I don't even feel like a person. Does anyone else feel this way? I've also heard people describe having autism as everyone else has a rulebook for life and people but nobody gave you one so you don't understand the rules. I really relate with that.



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07 Mar 2023, 9:43 pm

maybeautistic wrote:
I have always felt so different and weird I don't understand people. I feel like I'm an imposter and I don't even feel like a person. Does anyone else feel this way? I've also heard people describe having autism as everyone else has a rulebook for life and people but nobody gave you one so you don't understand the rules. I really relate with that.


Very much so.


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