What is autism like?
funeralxempire
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I still feel like that now.
Same, it's never gone away. I think I first articulated that thought to myself as a teenager long before I had a diagnosis but it's never really ceased to be true.
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Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う
I still feel like that now.
Same, it's never gone away. I think I first articulated that thought to myself as a teenager long before I had a diagnosis but it's never really ceased to be true.
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"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
funeralxempire
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Ah, the jury is still out on whether I'm a human or just two goblins in a costume.
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Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う
Ah, the jury is still out on whether I'm a human or just two goblins in a costume.
Which would you prefer?
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Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and caldron bubble.
funeralxempire
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Ah, the jury is still out on whether I'm a human or just two goblins in a costume.
Which would you prefer?
Well, the goblins would make my shortcomings as a human much more acceptable.
Not to mention explaining some other traits.
_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う
Ah, the jury is still out on whether I'm a human or just two goblins in a costume.
Which would you prefer?
Well, the goblins would make my shortcomings as a human much more acceptable.
Not to mention explaining some other traits.
Like what?
_________________
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and caldron bubble.
Ah, the jury is still out on whether I'm a human or just two goblins in a costume.
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
funeralxempire
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Ah, the jury is still out on whether I'm a human or just two goblins in a costume.
Which would you prefer?
Well, the goblins would make my shortcomings as a human much more acceptable.
Not to mention explaining some other traits.
Like what?
A lot of them can be lumped together under poor impulse control, although aggression, hoarding, poor organizational skills, tendency to not notice mess and some others come to mind. Goblin mode can't be turned off.
_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う
funeralxempire
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It definitely depends on circumstances; but if someone actively seeks a physical confrontation, they'll probably get it; or if another animal challenges me on my property, I don't retreat, I approach; if someone gets right in my face yelling, they might catch a headbutt for their troubles.
I got beat-up a lot when I was younger and gradually that 'cornered feral cat' response became really ingrained when dealing with actual threats. Learning to not freeze took awhile, but gradually I learned that if you 'take control' the other party can't, active aggression became a tool for making confrontations end more quickly and favourably.
I assume aggression and being hyper-competitive likely correlate. At the very least, I'm both.
Whether it's confrontations or other sorts of competitions, I like to win and I'm willing to work for it.
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Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う
I tend to just freeze or retreat, if that’s an option. I don’t really do confrontation. I’m not competitive either although I was when I was a kid. I suppose trauma affects different people differently.
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Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and caldron bubble.
funeralxempire
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Retreat in good order is often the best response, so long as it's an option.
The older one gets the less acceptable red mist becomes as an excuse.
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Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う
Double Retired
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Older folk might understand me when I say it has been like living in the Twilight Zone. It seems like the real world but there is a subtle, inexplicable undercurrent of strangeness and unpleasantness.
:
:
:
And, yes, I did get a formal diagnosis:
>=>=>Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild)
>=>=>With a note that I also satisfied the criteria previously associated with Asperger's Syndrome.
I really did insist we stop for champagne on the way home from getting the diagnosis. And I got more champagne when the written diagnosis arrived in the mail.
_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.
Too loud, too bright, too tight, too itchy, too anxious, too tired, too engrossed, too scattered, too particular ...
The only thing I've never experienced is boredom.
I am also totally immune to boredom, except in airports waiting for a flight. Probably due to being unable to settle enough to read.
Interesting. I'm certainly not immune to boredom, I'm intolerant of it and will move mountains to remove it, but when it strikes I feel it most acutely. Strangely enough I've not yet been bored while waiting for a flight. That's probably because I've only ever done long-haul flights and I've always been so anxious about getting lost, missing something important, or being turned away for not having the right documents or not behaving in the expected way that I'm fully occupied by hypervigilance, constantly error-checking and rearranging my baggage so that whatever I might next need is to hand.
I couldn't answer the poll because for me ASD is both good and bad. It feels like what it is - standing outside of society and its weird rituals and presumptions, feeling prone to accidentally making others think me odd, lazy, antisocial or whatever, many experiences seeming more intense that they are for others, having a slower and more thorough thinking and communication style than most people have or like, having something missing from my executive functioning (it's hard to know exactly what). It's a very complicated condition that may take more than a lifetime to fully understand, but it's likely possible for most people to get a reasonable-but-crude grasp of it within a week or so of first hearing of it, if they're prepared to study it diligently.
I have always felt so different and weird I don't understand people. I feel like I'm an imposter and I don't even feel like a person. Does anyone else feel this way? I've also heard people describe having autism as everyone else has a rulebook for life and people but nobody gave you one so you don't understand the rules. I really relate with that.
funeralxempire
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Very much so.
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Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う
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