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Let me start by saying that I am a 66 year old retired teacher. I have always known, from as far back as I remember, that I was different. I also learned how to fit in by faking it and have been extremely successful at it. As a teacher, I was aware of the autism spectrum and long suspected that I might be on it. This morning after fighting with myself, I finally worked up the courage to look online. To say I was stunned is an understatement. What I read, on various sites, described me to a T. I almost couldn’t breathe for a few minutes despite my suspicions. I don’t know where I’m going with this as it will take me some time to absorb and process but just getting this far is the first step. I will throw in one other confounding factor; I have been living with stage IV (metastatic) breast cancer for over 11 years. This is very rare and I am considered an outlier. While I am generally grateful for this , I thought, “Darn, I can’t even be typical when it comes to a terminal disease (stage IV is incurable). I am asking nothing from anyone here, just a nonjudgmental ear. Thank you

Thank you for joining us.

Welcome to WP! I hope you are here for a long, long time. ^{An indirect way of wishing good things on other medical issues.}

You might find these interesting, if you haven't already found them:
<=>- Autism-Spectrum Quotient Test (AQ)
<=>- Aspie Quiz ^{Registering is optional!}

Welcome to Wrong Planet. Terminal Breast Cancer. I am sorry you are going through this. I suffered a massive stroke about 2 years ago. I think it was an ender stroke. I suffered a very severe form of Aphasia combined with a vision loss on my right side. I have been working very hard to correct the damage and made significant progress. Maybe it is in our genes. Aspie Genes.

Thank you all for the welcome. I am at a real loss right now about how to proceed. My daughters, while lovely, have little kindness toward me at present. All I hear from them is “Get help, I can’t do anything for you.” This is delivered brusquely, no warmth, no kindness. I am not asking for anyone to fix me, I just want an empathetic ear. I want to hear that I am loved and accepted for who I am because I am emotionally exhausted from being the person that was more acceptable to the world. Yes, I do understand I need to seek some professional help I simply don’t understand what I’ve done to merit such coldness.
The breast cancer issue is also odd in that I am such an outlier. I look perfectly fine on the outside and again, I’m grateful but over a decade on medication has taken it’s toll on me not to mention the specter of progression that is always hanging over my head. About half of the people I’ve told about my bc question whether it’s true because I look well. The implication that I’m lying, exaggerating or just plain don’t know what I’m talking about is very upsetting. My metastasis is to my bones and it has been biopsy proven. Living with this knowledge is hard enough in itself. I don’t know what’s next but I guess I’ll bumble through as always. Thanks again.

If you've muddled your way through 66 years then maybe you don't need to go anywhere with it? After the diagnosis you are pretty much the same person you were before the diagnosis, except you know more about yourself.

I was diagnosed shortly before my 65^th birthday. I got the Adult Autism Assessment because I was curious and I wanted to know. I wasn't seeking any practical benefits and I haven't really gotten any, other than the relief of finally understanding so much about myself. At our age the diagnosis isn't so much a warning of problems in the future but rather a better understanding of the problems in the past.

There really wasn't any action required from friends and family. They already thought I was odd.

Oh, one BIG benefit of my diagnosis is that when my bride bumps up against one of my Autism traits I can say:

^{I have a doctor's note for that!} _{(I think that is funnier than she does!)}
I have been informing my assorted medical providers about the diagnosis. Even before I knew I was Autistic I had been asking my medical providers to give me stuff in writing—but they seldom did it. Now I can tell them about my Autism diagnosis to support my need for getting stuff in writing—but I still seldom get stuff in writing.

I have found some medical resources that might interest you, however:
<=>- AASPIRE looks interesting to me.
<=>- And their Healthcare Toolkit looks very interesting to me.
<=>- And I print copies of their paper "How Autism Can Affect Healthcare" to give to my providers,
<=>- And I print along with a page of notes about how some specific points especially apply to me.

Also, I have trouble when asked "On a scale from 1 to 10, how much pain do you feel?" What!? They think I have a gauge to look at?! There is a "Comparative Pain Scale" that I find helps me when asked that question. I usually take a few printed copies with me when I go to medical providers. (Note that I have not found a good permanent source for that pain scale...sometimes I have to poke around on the Internet to find it again.)

Oh, another definite benefit of my diagnosis is Wrong Planet. I find it to be a nice place to visit and I hope you do, too. I don't try to track the whole planet, just the parts that interest me. And if a conversation bothers me I just leave that conversation, not the whole planet.

Welcome!

Welcome. I felt the same way as you when I looked up some info and it fit me to a tee. That was when I was 63.

I think our families don’t know what to do with us. I’m sorry yours isn’t more caring. Mine isn’t either.

Great news on the cancer not progressing. Each new day is a good one. Don’t worry about what others think. We know we’re outliers in many ways.

That sounds real, real familiar! I hope you find more live people closer to home who will listen to you & just let you be who you are. I'm sorry to hear about your daughters' uncharitable attitude..... (I have no kids; I'm the crazy uncle.)

Here's to your living well & long; I hope the situation with the meds becomes a bit more moderate. I don't know anything. I hope this even if it is not possible from a medical perspective.

Tangentially, I wonder how many of us are teachers?

Take good care, & Welcome!

Brain Weevil

Glad you are with us.
Learning about being autistic opened a door for me, provided the answer to so many "whys" of the past and helped with self understanding and understanding others too. It was a huge relief to learn everything in my past was not "all my fault" and nobody knew about the autism either. I was happy to learn I was not alone, that there are others out there (here) who understand!

Its a lot to sort ( I was diagnosed at age 68) This is a great place to ask autism related questions. Who better to give insights and information than those of us who have lived long lives and have plenty of experience?

When I was a child, one of my aunts developed a condition. I believe it was a form of cancer. At the time everyone died from this condition within a few months. It must have happened about 65 years ago. It was a death sentence at the time. She was placed in a hospital ward (to die). They ran some radically new treatment on her. I believe it was a form of radiation therapy. (They probably burned it out of her.) She was the patient one in the entire hospital ward that survived. She was young at the time, probably in her early 20s. She survived the cancer and grew to old age.

Thanks for joining us here on Wrong Planet, feel free to take a look around and indulge yourself in various forums and posts in a most friendly environment

I was similar. Was trying to find out whatever was causing me issues and finally at the age of 4 via members of this site (Long story) I descovered it was shutdowns and partial shutdowns. Not been diagnosed as yet as I am still waiting to be assessed as I joined this site a few months after I was accepted to go on the list to be assessed. Was shocked again and again and again and again to find out I had so many traits. A friend on here listed 28 and she could keep going when I asked her how many traits she noticed I had. I did write them down on my tablet but it stopped working so I no longer have them listed. Only around two traits in her list I am not sure if I have.
But yes. It comes a shock, even though one always knew one was different and life somehow was a struggle where one could not see why! Always puzzled shat that "Thing" was that made people popular and enabled them to easily make friends... That something that I felt was missing... And how the thing I did not have a name for but now know is called "Masking"... How I reasoned that others must be soo much better at doing it than I was to be popular. I never knew they didn't mask. I knew I did it. I had to! I could not not mask around people when in school.

Welcome to WP!

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