29 Mar 2023, 9:16 am
29 Mar 2023, 6:57 pm
29 Mar 2023, 8:57 pm
29 Mar 2023, 10:22 pm
TheUndiagnosed
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 26 Jun 2022
Gender: Male
Posts: 51
Location: Western Europe
29 Mar 2023, 10:42 pm
30 Mar 2023, 4:31 am
30 Mar 2023, 4:35 am
30 Mar 2023, 4:37 am
KitLily wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Often relationships can be transactional.
Yes, I've read about transactional relationships. I read advice by 'communication experts' to say that we should move on from transactional relationships to transformational relationships where we aren't trying to get things from other people. But instead getting to know each other. Something like that anyway.
I haven't seen much evidence of that, I think humanity is still at the stage of transactional relationships.
I often think 'communication experts' live in cloud cuckoo land.
If a "transaction" involves a mutual personal sense of meaning, it can't be too bad.
30 Mar 2023, 4:44 am
Pepe wrote:
If a "transaction" involves a mutual personal sense of meaning, it can't be too bad.
I don't think it does. It means 'I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.' Person A does something practical e.g. lends some money to person B. Then person B cleans the windows of person A in return. They don't really connect deeply, they're just like business acquaintances.
31 Mar 2023, 7:53 am
KitLily wrote:
I totally agree with you. A guy online (not social media) said this:
[i]It's possible we took a wrong turn somewhere when we started focusing on metrics in our everyday life.
It's ok to do something just because you want to, or because it brings you personal joy / fulfillment / satisfaction.
It's ok if no one sees it. It's ok if no one knows about it.
[i]It's possible we took a wrong turn somewhere when we started focusing on metrics in our everyday life.
It's ok to do something just because you want to, or because it brings you personal joy / fulfillment / satisfaction.
It's ok if no one sees it. It's ok if no one knows about it.
This is the best way I have honestly seen this articulated ever
Nail on the head right there, everyone is doing things to have their accomplishments seen by others not for themselves, allistics have been given a literal metric of their validation in the form of a follower count and that seems to have led them to lose all sight of reality.
KitLily wrote:
He is correct. We should stop measuring these things and just live life for the fun of it. Not because we want to be 'influencers'.
I do that with my fanfic now. Many people write fanfic hoping the actual actors will read it and comment or whatever. I was horrified when I found that actors read fanfic. So now my own fics are tagged so eccentrically that few people will find them. I write them for myself. I laughed so much at one I wrote yesterday I gave myself a tummy ache.
I like this a lot, I conjured the idea of Emma Watson actually reading a harry potter fanfic it was adorable. Nothing better then writing for yourself tbh, people seem to forget to live amongst all their legacy creation efforts.
31 Mar 2023, 8:02 am
Quote:
For younger ppl who need more life experience, I don't recommend isolation.
For older ppl, it is a "godsend" to be a recluse.
For older ppl, it is a "godsend" to be a recluse.
I get this, I wouldn't be who I am now nor have the knowledge I did if I didn't spend all the time I did trying to understand them. Now that I understand them, I want nothing to do with them lol.
Quote:
My grandpappy skunk used to say:
"Most pain comes from other ppl...
Reason would suggest avoiding most ppl."
Smart old bugger.
"Most pain comes from other ppl...
Reason would suggest avoiding most ppl."
Smart old bugger.
Skunk was wise indeed
Quote:
I think most ppl on the spectrum find "chit-chat" uninteresting.
The very idea that people literally find small chat engaging blows my mind
Quote:
Don't speak too soon.
You haven't met EVERYBODY.
You haven't met EVERYBODY.
There's always someone to ruin the fun I suppose, I've read a few threads that have gotten derailed already feels like the Gaia days lol
31 Mar 2023, 8:04 am
31 Mar 2023, 8:08 am
cyberdad wrote:
MechaOphidian wrote:
I'm 3 months into Isolation from Neurotypicald and it's been a world of difference in my mental health.
:
:
How do you avoid NTs for 3 months?
Free-lance work online + Costco Self-Checkout
The only time I speak to Allistics is when the universe itself has decided I need to interact with one
Dentists/Doctors/Repairmen etc.
You can't live in a society with other humans in full isolation it's not exactly possible but you can damn well shield yourself from the absolute vast majority if you move to remote work.
31 Mar 2023, 9:26 am
MechaOphidian wrote:
KitLily wrote:
I totally agree with you. A guy online (not social media) said this:
It's possible we took a wrong turn somewhere when we started focusing on metrics in our everyday life.
It's ok to do something just because you want to, or because it brings you personal joy / fulfillment / satisfaction.
It's ok if no one sees it. It's ok if no one knows about it.
It's possible we took a wrong turn somewhere when we started focusing on metrics in our everyday life.
It's ok to do something just because you want to, or because it brings you personal joy / fulfillment / satisfaction.
It's ok if no one sees it. It's ok if no one knows about it.
This is the best way I have honestly seen this articulated ever
Nail on the head right there, everyone is doing things to have their accomplishments seen by others not for themselves, allistics have been given a literal metric of their validation in the form of a follower count and that seems to have led them to lose all sight of reality.
Yes, he really summed it up well didn't he.
And so did you! These days many people are living a kind of 'by proxy' life where everything is done for effect. I think you are correct- many people have lost sight of reality because of this.That is why I don't go on social media much anymore.
MechaOphidian wrote:
KitLily wrote:
He is correct. We should stop measuring these things and just live life for the fun of it. Not because we want to be 'influencers'.
I do that with my fanfic now. Many people write fanfic hoping the actual actors will read it and comment or whatever. I was horrified when I found that actors read fanfic. So now my own fics are tagged so eccentrically that few people will find them. I write them for myself. I laughed so much at one I wrote yesterday I gave myself a tummy ache.
I do that with my fanfic now. Many people write fanfic hoping the actual actors will read it and comment or whatever. I was horrified when I found that actors read fanfic. So now my own fics are tagged so eccentrically that few people will find them. I write them for myself. I laughed so much at one I wrote yesterday I gave myself a tummy ache.
I like this a lot, I conjured the idea of Emma Watson actually reading a harry potter fanfic it was adorable. Nothing better then writing for yourself tbh, people seem to forget to live amongst all their legacy creation efforts.
Yes, I write fanfics for myself and to put them 'out there in the universe.' I feel like stories are alive and need to be expressed and set free. I know that sounds like I'm right up my own a55 but I'm not writing to impress anyone but ME. Actors and characters are separate.
I watched a video of a fan convention and they said 'these specific actors love reading fanfic, so tailor your fanfic accordingly'. It was so cringey.
Last edited by KitLily on 31 Mar 2023, 9:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
31 Mar 2023, 9:30 am
31 Mar 2023, 2:00 pm
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