I'm struggling at home

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I don't do much. I'm often home alone lately. Everyone I know has a job ,my dad, my mom, my sister, my brother, my boyfriend etc.

When my family is around I love that but sometimes I feel like I'm doing stuff wrong. I repeat stories a lot, I don't know why.Im always being reminded about my hygiene. It makes me feel bad. My mom brushes my hair for me and I'm embarrassed by it. She says I should do it myself. My family also gets annoyed when I forget to put deodorant on. Also they want me to get dressed everyday.

Getting dressed is a challenge for some reason. I don't really like doing it. I like expressing myself though. I sleep in my clothes. I usually just change my pants or just my shirt. I'll wear the same things for days. Lately I've been told that is not really acceptable.


My parents are also confusing. They want me to be independent yet do not really let me. I have to tell them where I go. Also they always talk about how I need to take my meds, yet they think autonomy is important. I have a diagnosis of Schizophrenia and maybe Schizoaffective now. It just doesn't feel right. I just feel like they don't want to deal with me.

I'd guess there are times when they find the whole situation difficult and frustrating, but other times accept the way things are and are able to cope and do what they feel is best for you, hence the mixed messages. Nobody can be a perfect parent and they will make mistakes.

I can certainly relate to wearing the same clothes all the time, I don't like new clothes because they feel strange or uncomfortable and for some reason it does feel like a big deal to change the one's I do have. Pretty much anything that doesn't involve me being occupied with my hobbies is a big deal.