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Kitty4670
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12 Mar 2023, 5:02 pm

I so wish people could learn about Aspergers & Autism, & other things people have, they would learn something. I was just attacked on Facebook for posting about getting help for cleaning in my town group, she blamed me for stuff, she said she knows what she talking about. Why Aspergers people can have a very hard time?


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timf
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13 Mar 2023, 6:18 am

The percentage of a population that tends towards being jerks increases dramatically in prosperous consumer societies. Unrestrained selfishness tends to make people think that everything they have to say is precious and should be appreciated by others. It is part of the same reason people think they need to control the environment and fix the climate. They almost see themselves as god. However even the real God does not go so far as to try to control or instruct everyone.

Having Aspergers may increase sensitivity to cruel comments and since so many more people are inclined to make them, it can be helpful to avoid those who use words to hurt others.



SharonB
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14 Mar 2023, 8:18 am

In my 20s I was discriminated based on a possible medical condition from a spouse of a person who had that medical condition. That was a learning experience. Come to find out I didn't even have it. How could a person have a knee-jerk reaction and be so ignorant? Oh.... yea.... ignorance is bliss. People don't want to face reality. People don't want to face responsibility. People like to make attribution errors. Much easier.

At work there was this whole thing about "Circle of Influence" which to my horror my management translated as stay in your lane: "do nothing". In the meantime, I disregarded that nonsense and petitioned the highest levels of leadership to change a widely- and negatively-impacting company policy (which took a year or so but was done). I'm sure they would all comment had they known: Those pesky non-conforming idealistic persistent Autistic people.

Sorry for the online attack. :cry:



Kitty4670
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14 Mar 2023, 10:06 pm

SharonB wrote:
In my 20s I was discriminated based on a possible medical condition from a spouse of a person who had that medical condition. That was a learning experience. Come to find out I didn't even have it. How could a person have a knee-jerk reaction and be so ignorant? Oh.... yea.... ignorance is bliss. People don't want to face reality. People don't want to face responsibility. People like to make attribution errors. Much easier.

At work there was this whole thing about "Circle of Influence" which to my horror my management translated as stay in your lane: "do nothing". In the meantime, I disregarded that nonsense and petitioned the highest levels of leadership to change a widely- and negatively-impacting company policy (which took a year or so but was done). I'm sure they would all comment had they known: Those pesky non-conforming idealistic persistent Autistic people.

Sorry for the online attack. :cry:


Thanks :D When people worked for me in the past, cleaning my apartment, they can quit, blaming me, because I have Aspergers, there are ALOT things I CANNOT control, like getting upset & mad at person who got me upset. And people doing things wrong, putting things back in the wrong place, I tried to calm down. With having Cerebral Palsy too, my voice can get high when someone upset me too, I can’t hear myself all the time. Maybe it was my fault & I should take the blame, cuz I was adult, I should learned how to handle things better.


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SharonB
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16 Mar 2023, 9:36 pm

Although I am better at lowering my blood pressure after an upset and maybe even at avoiding raised blood pressure, I will only ever ne much better at it when I am six feet under. I hope that is a very, very long time away. Until then no amount of maturity or "adultness" will have me be as "better" as might be expected of an NT. I am not built that way. Sure, we improve (some more than others), sometimes we regress (some more than others). Doing are best here, under the circumstances. :heart:

My daughter's pet fish passed away last week. I shared when one of my pets passed (there were many). It's hard. We did are best. We were at fault (inexperience, obvious in hindsight). So I take responsibility and call out to my pets my care and my sorrow and for forgiveness. :heart:



Kitty4670
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17 Mar 2023, 8:46 pm

SharonB wrote:
Although I am better at lowering my blood pressure after an upset and maybe even at avoiding raised blood pressure, I will only ever ne much better at it when I am six feet under. I hope that is a very, very long time away. Until then no amount of maturity or "adultness" will have me be as "better" as might be expected of an NT. I am not built that way. Sure, we improve (some more than others), sometimes we regress (some more than others). Doing are best here, under the circumstances. :heart:

My daughter's pet fish passed away last week. I shared when one of my pets passed (there were many). It's hard. We did are best. We were at fault (inexperience, obvious in hindsight). So I take responsibility and call out to my pets my care and my sorrow and for forgiveness. :heart:

I don’t understand, you saying it was my fault? I wish other people would reply too.


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SharonB
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18 Mar 2023, 9:59 am

Kitty, technically one is at fault in an accident (my example) or has a part in any interaction or dynamic (your example). It's for us to see what degree we contributed to the situation --- it's shades of gray (not black and white). I was discriminated against at work based on gender. It cost me substantial amounts of money and esteem. I had a part in it also (I internalized the crap and even propagated it, as do most of us). The toxic workplace environment played a large role, but I can see my part also. I have power in that I can better my part and I called for my workplace to better their part. I am not THE ONE at fault for the situation, you are not THE ONE at fault for the situation ---- we played a part along with the other participants. I might even say I am not THE ONE at fault in the situation of my pet who passed --- it's the pesticide company and myself (but alas... my pet and myself paid that price. :cry: ) I'm just relating this to myself as many (or some) ASD folks do, take what works for yourself, leave the rest, I hope more folks chime in as you have requested...



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18 Mar 2023, 10:02 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
I so wish people could learn about Aspergers & Autism, & other things people have, they would learn something. I was just attacked on Facebook for posting about getting help for cleaning in my town group, she blamed me for stuff, she said she knows what she talking about. Why Aspergers people can have a very hard time?


She sounds like she's just bitter and looking for someone to abuse.


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Kitty4670
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18 Mar 2023, 6:44 pm

SharonB wrote:
Kitty, technically one is at fault in an accident (my example) or has a part in any interaction or dynamic (your example). It's for us to see what degree we contributed to the situation --- it's shades of gray (not black and white). I was discriminated against at work based on gender. It cost me substantial amounts of money and esteem. I had a part in it also (I internalized the crap and even propagated it, as do most of us). The toxic workplace environment played a large role, but I can see my part also. I have power in that I can better my part and I called for my workplace to better their part. I am not THE ONE at fault for the situation, you are not THE ONE at fault for the situation ---- we played a part along with the other participants. I might even say I am not THE ONE at fault in the situation of my pet who passed --- it's the pesticide company and myself (but alas... my pet and myself paid that price. :cry: ) I'm just relating this to myself as many (or some) ASD folks do, take what works for yourself, leave the rest, I hope more folks chime in as you have requested...



Are you saying it was fault, if it wasn’t my fault, then I should take blame cuz I was an adult back then?


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SharonB
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19 Mar 2023, 9:54 am

Kitty, you posted about getting help for cleaning and was attacked. No, it is not your fault. Sorry, I'm rambling about topics I'm relating by the hair on my chinny chin chin and I got confused with a different post where the OP was in a direct in-person social interaction. My apologies. Is the FB group a small or large one, do you interact with that person much?



Kitty4670
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26 Mar 2023, 12:14 am

SharonB wrote:
Kitty, you posted about getting help for cleaning and was attacked. No, it is not your fault. Sorry, I'm rambling about topics I'm relating by the hair on my chinny chin chin and I got confused with a different post where the OP was in a direct in-person social interaction. My apologies. Is the FB group a small or large one, do you interact with that person much?


I explain more in another post. I said there were women that cleaned for me in the past that quit, they blamed me for quitting cuz they got me upset, cuz of my Aspergers, they didn’t understand me, they wanted me to act like them, they wanted me to fake being a NT.


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SharonB
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26 Mar 2023, 8:56 am

I can relate. Similar experience here also in years past. My ASD BFF has a cleaner that is respectful/careful. My husband wants to get a cleaner for us this year and I'm apprehensive.



Kitty4670
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04 Apr 2023, 7:36 pm

I wish people would learn Aspergers. When I write something in my town group page on Facebook, alot of the times, i tell them about my Aspergers,Cerebral Palsy & Learning Disability. People should know that I’m not like them & can act sooooo different from them. With Learning Disability, everything is soooooo much harder for me.


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Diamondisis
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05 Apr 2023, 1:36 pm

sometimes I think I am invisible or that what I do doesn't bother people. I was fired from my job in a deli because I picked my nose, it is because of that that I can never work in food services again. It sucks a lot because my dream job is to open a restaurant. It's moments like that when I hate having Aspergers