Forcing myself to do things I don't want to do. How to stop?

Post Reply New Topic

I seem to think I find myself forcing myself to do certain things because I seem to think a lot of other people are doing them but some of those things I don't do. I feel forced even more if I see some other people posting photos of themselves at gyms showing off their muscles for example as it seems as though that is one of the fads of today and that by not doing that it feels as though you don't fit in with the rest of other people of your age. I was even forced in someway into driving a car and now drive a car. I was quite pleased I passed my test and was quite confident about driving my own car but I seem to think it didn't make me feel 100% content with life.

I've never really considered in going to a gym as I have quite a thin build and have a healthy weight anyway and I don't really feel comfortable getting myself into gym wear in front of other people I don't know at a gym. I do have bar-bells at home which I have used occasionally but not all the time. I remember doing it quite a lot before the pandemic kicked off and we went into lockdown. I'm still not exactly a very muscular looking person and can still see my rib cage showing but I don't really feel like wanting to look like a body-builder.

I don't know what the problem is I have here, I don't know if again its just me comparing myself all the time to other people and not showing appreciation and gratitude for the things I ''have'' and not for things I ''don't have''.

If you do not want to go to a gym don't go to a gym, for goodness sakes. No one is forcing you.

I'm envious of your discipline! Wish I could force myself to do all the things on my to-do list that I don't want to do.. If I had that sort of discipline I'd get so much more accomplished!! !!

Sometimes you have to do it. I've learned how to use my Asperger's know-it-all part of my personality to push forward in difficult situations, such as when I'm uncomfortable in a social situation to just walk in and act like I own the place. I developed this when I was 13 and started telling myself I just had to point myself in the correct direction and give myself a push.

Of course, if it's a counterproductive situation like going into a pub full of idiots, common sense says no.

It can be really hard to accept yourself as you are. You are recognizing that you really don't want to do things that other people are doing and that's a great first step. Its also fine to be grateful for what you have, but too much of that can feel like you are gas-lighting yourself, especially if you force it. Too much of that and you'll lose self-confidence and not trust your own judgement.

Many times we do things we don't want to do to please others. When the situation comes up try asking yourself WHY you are doing it. Sometimes just that little pause to reflect will allow you to decide if its something you really want to do or not - if its not...don't do it.

It can also help to do something you actually want to do for yourself instead.

[naturally there are also things we have to do - even if we don't want to]

Yep. I've managed to push myself to do all kinds of things big and small. Most recently, I managed to stay focused well enough to get my contract job done reasonably efficiently so I still made $75/hr vs pissing around wasting time and earning less.

Just wish I could stay focused and disciplined all the time so that I could consistently get All The Things done vs. have a backlog of a to-do list I seem to never get around to tackling.