Red Flags

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What are some red flags that you’ve seen, experienced, or exhibited ( ) when it comes to dating/romance/whatever?

What are some things to watch out for for the oblivious among us?

Watch how the person treats service people when you are together in public. If they are rude or demanding to a waiter/waitress/cashier/other employee, definite red flag.

• Claims Trump won the 2019 election.

• Claims vaccines cause autism or that they contain nanochips.

• Denies the existence of COVID-19.

• Claims the MAGA coup attempt on 2020/01/06 never happened.

• Gaslights your factual observations.

• Reacts to your compliments as insults.

• Indecisive yet criticizes your decisions.

• Accuses you of things you have never done or said.

• Claims to know what you are thinking.

- Probes into your trauma history/ongoing trauma and is aroused by it - yep, it's happened.

- Insists that you share the same opinion about a topic/won't allow a different opinion

- Discourages you from having your own taste in clothes or hair

- Invalidates your experience

- Exhibits controlling behavior

- Starts pursuing you when because you are vulnerable

- Love-bombing

- Asking personal questions especially about sex

- Suggesting they can help you with trauma, but also saying they don't respect psychology

- Refusing to apologise or admit accountability for mistakes or bad decisions

- Blaming those mistakes and bad decisions on others

- Telling people "You trust me" or "You love me"

Transactional or conditional behavior, particularly if it relates to basic respect.
"If you want me to treat you right, you better act right"

Expecting you to know your "role" or "place", rather than letting you be you.

Blames you for their transgressions.
"look what you made me do!"

Ingratiation or otherwise offering "gifts" to be used later as leverage.

Expecting a pass for their sh!t behavior for various reasons. (didn't mean it, was an accident, "muh bad childhood")

Ignoring or invalidating what you say, on the grounds that "you didn't say it right". (See above, transactionalism)

Undercutting or minimizing your achievements or accomplishments.

Inability to accept being told "no".

Inability to take criticism.

"Sex sex sex sex sex sex..."

^ Yes, I can relate to a lot of those too! My ex would often blame his appalling behavior on his lousy childhood.

Punching a TV out of frustration.

- narcissistic behavior/a constant need to make everything about them and what they want

- not willing to compromise

- demanding

- disrespectful

- pushy about sex

- kicks garbage cans when can't get sex

- sends unsolicited dick pics

- complains about blue balls if you aren't in the mood

- locks you in a room for saying "no"

- hogs the remote

Brings up EXs and criticizes them constantly, making themselves the victim in every relationship

If they have kids, are involved in a dramatic custody battle. Get involved with them, you will become part of the battle also

Have addiction issues

Have a bad relationship or no relationship with their parents

- favorite band is Poison

- Teaches / mansplains to women about how to have orgasms or get wet

- Says that women get wet even during SA because their body likes it