Increasing popularity of friends-first approach

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But



And emotional discipline seems a necessary component to act with integrity in the face of temptation.

I think that's typical behavior of young females who aren't attracted to the kind of guy they wish they'd be.

Be flirty, it doesn't turn them on, move on because it's hard work, awkward and unpleasant. Emotions cloud the judgement and it's too fun when someone experienced white knights them.

The fact they remain friends means they like the person but not romantically. If they didn't have ctrl over their attraction they would sleep with someone that turned them on. (Considering the guy wasn't doing much wrong)

Why do you sound like an incel?

Last edited by Rexi on 20 Mar 2023, 5:39 am, edited 6 times in total.

Emotional discipline and personal integrity support each other.

The waifu is a spoiled babe.

The male is not allowed to be testosteronish and barbarically pick bull fights with waif like they have amongst men. This genetic system only works with some it seems, though.

"We found that women in love had higher levels of gonadotropins (FSH, LH) and lower testosterone levels compared to single women who were not in love."

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6861983/

Bby, I knew it. We switched roles. I'm getting fertile while you're getting nurturing.

You're also a cure to my PCOS so I must continue my treatment.

Therefore, does it not stand to reason that if emotional discipline is lacking, then integrity should also be lacking, as the one lacks the support of the other?

Also, emotional discipline can absolutely exist without integrity. Con-artists live in this domain. But you'd be hard-pressed to maintain personal integrity, without emotional discipline.

I'm not, I'm married with a wife and 17 year old daughter.

I am sharing how I felt at the time. Not how I feel now.

In the end she had plans for me which I didn't know nor did she reveal. She did care otherwise she wouldn't have hung around me for almost 4 years. The problem was my brain did not process why a hot 18 year old would show me such attention. It was (I admit) intoxicating. At the time there was no term to describe what I was going through.

Her plan? she revealed it over the phone when stopped returning her calls. One day out of sheer boredom I picked up. and she was crying accusing me of things which I blocked out because I felt so angry at her. What I remember was she wanted me to marry her best friend (who was a student at the time). The other girl was also somebody I was acquainted with and who was an attractive and similar age. I didn't know at the time but she (the other one) was smitten with me.

The plan was I marry her and the three of us would hang out for the rest of our lives. But now she said both of them were unahappy with me. I didn't care since I didn't like the other girl (despite her good looks she had an eating disorder).

I feel compelled to note that when you picked looks over personality, with the first girl, who intoxicated you despite her questionable and inconsistent behavior, you got into an unfavorable situation - but when you focused on personality over looks with her friend, when her eating disorder overshadowed her good looks, you likely avoided trouble rather than inviting it. Funny that.

Also note that it only took one single personality trait to completely override and cancel out all of her good looks, whatever they were.

It was a little more complicated than just the eating disorder.
So Woman A - 18 yr girl who friendzoned me
Woman B - 20 yr old attractive mutual friend who I met frequently but had no idea she liked/had feelings for me

So one day I walked past a well known men's establishment and saw Woman B walk out dressed in a skimpy outfit. We both locked eyes and said nothing, I shrugged my shoulders and figured "so that's how she pays her bills". She was shocked and stared but said nothing.

The very next day I got a call from Woman A whom I had already ghosted demanding why I hadn't called her and what was going on. Then once she establshed I didn't want to have anything to do with her she told me all about Woman B and how she really liked me and how the two of them (A and B) were going to engineer me falling in love with her and us getting married and then the three of us being lifelong friends (Woman A had no interest in marriage or kids).

But apparently Woman B had told Woman A about me seeing her walking out of a gentleman's establishment wearing what I can only describe as a "hooker's uniform" she felt completely deflated and went home and cried hysterically. She thought she had blown it with me. I of course had no idea.

Bottom line- I knew she had a eating disorder because after going out to lunch with her a few times she would go and throw up her meal in the bathroom which I thought was gross. After seeing she earns money in a massage parlour any vestigal interest in Woman B as a result of the revelations from Woman A dwindled to zero.

To be continued.
Same time...
Same channel...

… and then A and B together; with C’s agreement, tied up C, and did some bdsm threesome “activity” to him.

While that is a bit more complicated (as things usually are once explained in greater detail), it's still just a longer version of a list of reasons why their personalities mattered more than their looks.

And I get it - that was a fair amount of f*ckery to have to deal with. But that was two dumb kids, out of billions of people, 20+ years ago. You were then, and are now, a grown-a** adult. Whatever decisions led you to that situation, were made by you.

The advice you give, currently, carries heavily the weight of how-you-felt back then. Trauma seldom makes for good advice.

Lastly, I fell compelled to point out, that while I am being critical of your situation, I am neither making light of it, nor making fun of it - though I can't say the same for others...

Not in the context I was using.

Yes, well, while most people use context as illumination to add clarity, as a flashlight or a laser beam, to make things easier to see and pinpoint - your "context" is oft provocatively offered in the way a matador wields a cape, dangling it as a target only to be pulled aside at the last second, to then be dangled again in a new location. It makes for a great show, but it's still just a "bunch of bull" running around...

Yes I pretty much took responsibility for my own bad decisions