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Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 9 Apr 2022
Gender: Female
Posts: 5
Location: Lynchburg, VA

16 Mar 2023, 9:12 am

I am frustrated because I just hate talking on the phone. No problem with texts or email, just communicating by phone. Anyone else and any advice?

Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 16 Mar 2023
Gender: Female
Posts: 8
Location: USA

16 Mar 2023, 10:04 am

I too have an aversion to talking on the phone. I don't know why. I don't think I was always this way.

I am in the process of trying to at least not avoid it, if not better than that. I do know the more we do of anything no matter how you feel about it , doing it becomes easier to do and less of a chore or dread.

So being a texter , I make a call and talk instead of texting, if it is to someone that I know is not in school or work. It is not happening fast. But since starting this i have a couple times (much to my surprise) without forcing myself , I just dialed, it has only happened 2 times, but I have hope if I keep forcing myself that at some point it won't hate it. I was so bad sometimes I wouldn't answer my phone. I would text them and ask "whats up?" So yeah I was pretty bad. I don't do that anymore. :) Good Luck


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Joined: 26 Aug 2020
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 604
Location: 1Q84

19 Mar 2023, 5:34 pm

Create a script in your head.

You have the intro - "Hi how are you? Great, me too. Blah blah blah."

The middle - State your purpose, explain what you need. Sometimes I apologise for not explaining something clear and people have been nicer to me for that. Try to listen to their response. If you can't hear what they say, please ask them to repeat it. Use manners.

The End- Say thank you.

dear god, dear god, tinkle tinkle hoy.


Joined: 26 Mar 2023
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 479

04 Apr 2023, 12:51 pm

IamLucy2 wrote:
I am frustrated because I just hate talking on the phone. No problem with texts or email, just communicating by phone. Anyone else and any advice?

I try to make sure I know why I'm calling and for what purpose. Also know what message to leave if I can't just text if they don't answer.

There's no shame in writing a list and having relevant information handy.

My previous role required that I make a lot of less than pleasant phone calls. And just knowing the most important information does help.


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Joined: 1 Oct 2017
Age: 51
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 1,667
Location: Australia

07 Apr 2023, 6:16 pm

The title of this thread was so scary it took me 3 days to build up the courage to open it, haha.

But seriously, using the phone gets easier with practice, if you can bring yourself to keep doing it. I usually have a bit of a script to work off.

Until you get to about age 50 when you stop caring what the other person thinks and start being brusque and rude again.

Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

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Joined: 19 Feb 2023
Gender: Male
Posts: 47
Location: Mexico

09 Apr 2023, 12:38 pm

In my first job, my boss asked me to make and receive phone calls on his behalf.
He saw I wasn't good at it so he suggested me two things:

1) Write a script before you call.
2) Write down all that the other person says and that you think is important.

For my second job, I made a script based on the communication I saw on TV. It might not sound natural, but it worked for me. Something like:

Good morning. I'm Y from Company X.

I'm calling to make a follow-up on some invoices (or memos) we requested... to make a follow-up on an order we placed last week... etcetera...

Sometimes I didn't know what the other person would say after that, so I wrote a bank of questions I had to do and answers (keywords) for possible questions they would do.

· Ask about ETA?
· Ask if they can issue a new invoice?
· Lead time 2 weeks.
· Part number: XYZ123
· Discrepancy 350 USD (credit memo)

This is useful in a professional setting. For personal calls, I only like calls from my family and best friends, but I suck at others.

TL;DR: Advise
1) Make a script before calling. Write your introduction and the purpose of your call.
2) Make a bank of possible questions to make and possible answers to questions the other person could make.
3) Write down what the other person says that you consider important.

You can have a notebook for that and write numbers 1, 2, and 3 on the same page to keep a log of your calls. Also, you can make a review on the same page and check it later in case you need to solve something similar in the future.

I'm a diagnosed Aspie and ADHDer.


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Joined: 25 Nov 2022
Age: 29
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 559
Location: USA

09 Apr 2023, 12:49 pm

I had an aversion to even talking to friends and relatives on the phone as a child. Not sure why. (Is that an autism thing??)

I've gotten more comfortable with phone conversations, but answering the phone at work is always a bit awkward. I know how to be professional, I guess, but I'm so put on the spot that sometimes I mess up.

I agree about having a script in mind. I usually pick up the phone like "thank you for calling [store] in [location], this is [name], how may I help you?" It gets a little tricky when actually answering questions as you can't exactly write a script for that as easily.... but it gets easier with practice, usually.
It helps to be familiar with the system for forwarding calls beforehand, too. If they ask a question I'm unsure of I'll transfer them to my boss or the store manager or another department. "I'm actually not sure, I'm going to transfer you to [fill in blank] now and they'll be able to help you"

Inattentive ADHD, "soft diagnosed" autistic (working on formal diagnosis), most likely have dyscalculia
RAADs: 104 | ASQ: 30 | Aspie Quiz: 118/200 (aspie) & 85/200 (NT)

Also diagnosed with: seasonal depression, anxiety, OCD, AVPD