I'm beginning to think my mother is autistic as well

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colliegrace
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18 Mar 2023, 9:58 pm

So earlier in the day my sister (who is neurodivergent for certain but not yet diagnosed with anything) was telling my mom to please not talk for a while. My mom thought it quite rude, so on the way home from work I decided to bring up that sis wasn't intending to be rude, she was just having a bad sensory day. What happened next stunned me.

My mom was like "yeah, I get like that sometimes too, I think it's pretty normal." And proceeded to talk about how back in her day you'd just grin and bear it. I was like "wait, what."

Anyways, my boss a while back said that she thinks my mom is also autistic and my sister probably is too (sis works at the same place I do, so she's her boss too). I didn't think that was the case, but.... maybe it is.


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ASD, most likely have dyscalculia & BPD as well. Also dx'd ADHD-C, but don't think it's accurate.
RAADs: 104 | ASQ: 30 | Aspie Quiz: 116/200 (84% probability of being atypical)

Also diagnosed with: seasonal depression, anxiety, OCD


ASPartOfMe
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18 Mar 2023, 10:14 pm

Very possible. Autism causation is mostly genetic.

It is possible her parents were autistic or had autistic traits and her children are like that so why would she not think it is normal?

Back in the day, we did just "grin and bear it". No such thing as accommodations. If you could not handle it you were institutionalized.


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“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


colliegrace
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18 Mar 2023, 10:29 pm

I do think my grandmother could have been neurodivergent based on things I've been told. (I only got to see her a few times before she passed away, we lived many states away.) For example apparently when my mom and her sisters were growing up she was constantly misplacing things and things like she'd freak out and ask if she had her purse when it was in the back seat of the car while she was driving. Which is more ADHD-eques to my understanding, but still.

That and the number of times I've described symptoms of my social difficulties to my mom and she goes "yeah I'm like that too".


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ASD, most likely have dyscalculia & BPD as well. Also dx'd ADHD-C, but don't think it's accurate.
RAADs: 104 | ASQ: 30 | Aspie Quiz: 116/200 (84% probability of being atypical)

Also diagnosed with: seasonal depression, anxiety, OCD


SharonB
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19 Mar 2023, 10:05 am

My mom thought I was normal. I have an ASD diagnosis. I would do my thing; she would do her thing. Worked out well enough that way (sad sarcasm). She is likely Autistic as well. I believe her mother was (who wanted to talk about electrons more than children and was institutionalized b/c that was not normal for women, while my grandfather was given an award for wanting to talk about chemicals more than children b/c that was normal for men). Given my niece is diagnosed ASD and my daughter has ASD (but has yet to qualify for a diagnosis :cry: ) it seems to be predominantly a "girls" thing in our family (who married mostly Allistic men). My mom suppressed a lot to get by (and stay out of an institution) so she's the shutdown type of ASD (oppressed bigtime, detached, avoidant). I feel for her. I shared with her my suspicion years ago and she said "I am who I am" and dismissed it. Now I am pretty sure she acepts it as so, but has left it to idle.

---Oh, and I started asking my cousins about my aunt on my dad's side ---did she hear, smell, etc. better than others? Did she stay to the social edges and otherwise did her own thing, regarding her "special interest"... -- yes, yes, yes... I knew her in the last part of her life and could relate to her the way others couldn't... And my dad's own mother!! ! (a quiet, well-behaved woman who got divorced when it wasn't popular and worked as a secretary in a museum, we stayed with her every Christmas, a little mouse of a woman wanting to every just right...)... but makes a lot of sense... I highly suspect... That I've let be as they are very afraid of mental health issues. So sad as the secrets led to the tragic loss of my favorite cousin and other cousins are currently suffering.

Wishing your family well on your discovery paths.