Dating but no job

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I don't think disabled or unemployed people having problems getting relationships is is usually about others being shallow or stuck up persay.

A disabled person not working is sometimes thought to be lazy & unmotivated. Whereas if the disabled person is very active within their community like volunteering a lot for non-profit groups or working long hours to get by financially, they are thought to be driven & passionate.

Some people grow up in areas that have a very negative opinion of others needing help & assistance. The judgers cant grasp how difficult it is for some people to become self-reliant. Or the judgers majorly struggled themselves & did not have any help or assistance available to them. The judgers think that they were able to get ahead or were forced to just thread water by trying extremely hard & working themselves into an early grave & the judgers think that if they could do it anyone can. The judgers see others getting help as a slap in the face since the judgers were forced to struggle to get by on their own.

Lots of people these days are working minimum-wage or extremely underpaid jobs just to survive paycheck to paycheck. They worry that they will have to support a disabled person financially if the benefits & assistance end up getting cut. They also worry that the disabled person will not be able to take care of things around the house. I imagine that having to work long hard hours at a job you hate & then having to do most all the chores when you get home while your disabled partner stays home all day doing nothing except watching TV or playing video-games or whatever, will fuel resentment very fast for lots of people.

If a disabled person were to need special care for a bit, their partner may be forced to miss work for a while to take care of them. Lots of employers do not provide paid family & medical leave & lots of people have their health insurance tied to their job or their partner's job. It would majorly s#ck for the family if a non-disabled person was the primary financial provider & they lost their job & health insurance because their partner needed extra care. Also lots of jobs are not accommodating towards pregnant employees & if the woman was the primary financial provider & she lost her job & health insurance due to her getting pregnant & her employer not accommodating or her needing to miss work for an extended period of time, it would also majorly s#ck for her family.

I'm not saying that these things are common in relationships where one person is disabled but I do think these concerns are understandable & justified, especially considering that the economy has not stopped rapidly going down the toilet since the millennium hit.

great post Nick you summed up the attitudes of society to disabled people well.

Flea thats encouraging do you mind me asking where you met your partners?

great post Nick you summed up the attitudes of society to disabled people well.

oh goodness i dont want to be in another relationship where i was resented again that would be the worst possible outcome. I have more stability now though and wouldnt actually need anyone as i have my parents nearby if im bed ridden.

I like being alone and have been alone 90% of my life and thats just the way it is but Its just a nagging feeling of missing out on the 'perks' of life as i get older ! Maybe thats the kickback of going on disability and being happier and reducing my medications. Perhaps you cant have it all haha.

I did use to volunteer at Oxfam for a couple hours. Even that really took it out of me getting there and back. Id like to do some more. Maybe i should focus on getting out in to the community before anything else.

Out of curiosity are there any filters on dating apps that might weed out people who would potentially be a terrible match?

I've met people in a few different ways. I did try online dating twice, but that was for a fwb thing, not an actual relationship, but it did work out for me, sort of. I also met another fwb at a bar. As for actual relationships... I married my best friend when I was young (teenage wedding). After he and I split up, I ran into an old friend from school that I hadn't seen in years...she was working at a store I happened into and she and I ended up dating off and on for ten years. My second ex spouse and I met in a martial arts class. Another ex was a friend and we were both available at the same time, so we took advantage of that. I have (or had at least) a tendency to date friends or people I became friends with. Not always though.

One person I met while walking...I went past their house every morning around the same time and they were always on the porch so we got to chatting. One person worked at a local store I pop into now and then. I met someone else while getting coffee at a lil coffee shop. Sometimes it's been random encounters like those, that for some reason turned out to be something. *shrugs* I don't really do much, but I walk a lot and go to the same few places, so I tend to see the same people and will say hi, wave, whatever. If the person is engaging and seems interesting to me, I'll gladly engage if I'm up for it.

I kinda felt like my 2nd girlfriend resented me but that may of just been my perspective. She was in college at the time & wanted to train service dogs for disabled people. She was a lot smarter & more independent than me & was the one in charge in our relationship. I woulda had to be a lot more independent in order for us to have been able to move in together in the foreseeable future. I kinda felt like I was a special project to her. That may not of been the case but I felt like I couldn't measure up & I was upset & unstable.

Having parents nearby can be great if you guys have a decent relationship & they try to be supportive.

It sounds like your doing well & getting out in the community could be very helpful. Try to ease yourself into things if you can. Trying too hard can cause a burnout or a shutdown.

It's been like 12 years since I used dating sites. I'm sure things have changed quite a lot since then. I doubt I would understand the majority of them.