unsure how to handle impending crash (work-wise)

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Trying to keep the explanation simple.

I live with my mom. Plan to stay. Mom has multiple disabilities. I have multiple mental disabilities. We both work. Mom will eventually not be able to work anymore, she's getting older and her health problems are beginning to seriously pile up. This is not sustainable.

I work. I don't make enough to provide for us. I'm not even certain I have the cognitive skills to provide for us, though that doesn't mean I won't try and see before throwing in the towel.

People have suggested that perhaps we should apply for disability. We live in the US, and getting disability here is hard. We'd both have to quit our jobs as you basically have to prove you're unable to work.... Disability can take years to finally be approved for. I'm sure you can see where this is not doable.

You definitely should apply, you've got nothing to lose, though if you claim now - whilst you're both still in work - I'm guessing you'd have less chance of being successful. I'm not in the US but I'd presume they will prioritise what you're struggling with at this moment in time rather than what you might have problems with in future when assessing whether or not you qualify, so you might be better off waiting a bit until your circumstances have changed leaving them with less reason for turning you down. You'd need to take more advice on this, but probably worth bearing in mind.

Here in the UK it's changed from being relatively straight forward to quite difficult. I was put on disability benefits without asking to be put on them when I was in my 20s, then soon taken off again when I had a partner working full time. Now I'm a single parent, I'm still recognised as having a disability with free prescriptions/dental/opticians etc (none of which I use) but I get no actual disability payments.

Will she be receiving any sort of pension income? Social Security I think the US calls it.

She should apply for disability. Seems strange that it could take years to be approved. If people become disabled/more severely disabled and cannot work, they need shelter/food/medicine in the near term - not in a few years. Makes sense that it make take several weeks to approve and require letters from Doctors/Specialists for their professional assessment that someone is no longer capable of work to prevent abuse of the system.. but years to approve = wtf? (I have no idea how long it takes to be approved here in BC, Canada.)

Only two things you can do to sustain yourselves:

1. Maintain or Increase income. Possibly by switching jobs, taking on a second job, mom still working part time or perhaps working some sort of job from home that's easy on her, (telephone customer service etc), renting out spare space if you have a bedroom or storage space to rent, renting out a spare car or main car when it's not in use, renting out other things - there are apps to rent all sorts of things out these days.. tools, sporting goods etc. There are also countless online opportunities to figure out how to make a few bucks if someone is internet savvy - everything from writing to graphics or coding or posting auctions or ads, photo editing etc etc etc if someone's computer/internet savvy they could find Something to do to generate a few dollars.. and if they don't care to learn much, pick something simple. Heck, I have car salesmen friends that post tons of ads on Craigslist/Marketplace etc to generate leads to sell luxury cars - bet they'd be happy to pay someone $x/ad written and posted so they don't have to spend their time doing that. All sorts of small-assist type roles that could exist for the asking.. just gotta see an opportunity to do something of value for someone or some business near you and make a mutually beneficial arrangement.

2. Reducing expenses. If mom retires/semi-retires, she won't have commuting costs, work clothing costs, possibly reduced food costs etc. If she saves on a few line items by not going to work & then still does something from home to generate some income she might not be much worse off financially than while she was still leaving the house to work.




At least you're getting ahead of things a bit and thinking about these things now so you can make some sort of workable plan that creates a sustainable budget for the two of you.

It can take a few years to get approved in the states. It's a pain and then some. You get back paid from the time you applied if you get approved, but that's zero help in the meantime.

I'd recommend talking to a lawyer. I'm not sure where you are, but in my state, there are disability lawyers who will work with you and not take any payment until (and unless) you win your case. Then they take a percentage of the backpay to cover their fees, up to whatever amount. It's not a ton of cash you end up being out and the whole process is a nightmare. I certainly couldn't do it on my own. I had a therapist help me the first time, then when I got denied, I got a lawyer and won. It took me somewhere between two to three years from start to finish, but as I said, I was denied the first time. From what I understand that's pretty common though. It's like they want to make sure you really need the help or something.

It might be a good idea to apply, but I'm really not sure which one of you should apply first. It can be harder to get disability for physical issues up to a certain age. I had a friend who had a massive stroke when she was 30 and got denied disability despite having all kinds of issues from that, and a different friend around the same age got approved her first time applying due to being bipolar. So depending on your mom's age, it might be more reasonable that you apply if you are going for psych related things over physical ones. If she's older though (like 65 plus) it might be worth it for her to apply first. I wouldn't recommend both of you doing that at the same time just from complete lack of income.

But I'm no lawyer. Really, I'd look around and see if anyone will take on your case and accept payment later. If not, there are often state appointed people who will help with legal issues if you are below a certain income level. That might be worth looking into as well if the other isn't an option.

Also, if you do apply, don't have money in the bank. They will use that against you and tell you to live on that. I know a guy who was saving a lil money (like $2500) and got denied because of it. He used all that up quick paying rent, then got evicted and became homeless. Once the money was gone he had to reapply and then got approved. Then it took 9 months for him to get into public assisted housing. It's messed up, but true. Don't have money they can find. Stick that stuff under your mattress if you have to. They will use that against you.