Is it common for aspie to often not fit in?

Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

catpiecakebutter
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 13 Feb 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 125

23 Mar 2023, 6:35 pm

I know because of my issues I don't know where I really belong more in special needs or mental health. I didn't really graduate from high school properly, I don't have a regular paid job, I'm not really a social butterfly all the time, I have low self esteem, I don't fit in very well, and I don't understand complex things. Do people on the spectrum often not fit in? I'm not a social butterfly but I have a few friends I see in person.



The_Walrus
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,789
Location: London

23 Mar 2023, 6:52 pm

It's a very common experience among autistic people. You'd fit in around here :D



MagicMeerkat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,821
Location: Mel's Hole

23 Mar 2023, 7:06 pm

I find it hard to fit in even with other autistic people


_________________
Spell meerkat with a C, and I will bite you.


Benjamin the Donkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2017
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,305

23 Mar 2023, 7:34 pm

It's one of our defining characteristics.


_________________
"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."


Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,363
Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔

23 Mar 2023, 8:00 pm

Any form of deviance or divergence would do that.


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

26 Mar 2023, 7:50 pm

Duh! :)
(Didn't mean that nastily, it's cool to ask, just thought I'd give an obvious answer lol). :heart:


_________________
Female


QuantumChemist
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Oct 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,910
Location: Midwest

27 Mar 2023, 7:59 am

Even if we “appear” to fit in with NTs through masking, we still “feel” the truth that we do not fit in with them.



autisticelders
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,946
Location: Alpena MI

28 Mar 2023, 5:46 am

"social struggles" is one of the things we must have to be diagnosed as autistic. Yes, most all of us feel like outsiders, feel separate and experience frequent rejection . very common indeed!


_________________
https://oldladywithautism.blog/

"Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” Samuel Johnson


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

28 Mar 2023, 9:51 am

I wouldn't say I don't fit in with NTs. I'm actually quite likeable and I'm easy to get on with and to talk to. I'm very trustworthy as well, when people confide in me with gossip I don't go off and tell others whom it may upset. People like that about me. But sadly I'm not that popular and I don't often get invited out to do social activities with others, which is a huge RSD trigger for me and can knock me into depression.

I think I understand the social rules more than a lot of autistic people do. I see things the illogical way, rather than logical. Sometimes even here when people have empathy (which you all do) I see it is often expressed in a more logical way. That doesn't mean you lack empathy though, in fact it seems more empathetic. I can't always relate to that.
And I understand other things NTs do too, like lying and not being bothered if someone ain't literal. Like if someone says "I'll just be a couple of minutes", I wouldn't think "oh, a couple means two, that's exactly 120 seconds, any more or any less then it's a lie". I just see "a couple of minutes" as "I won't be long".


_________________
Female