Seriously, why is there so much Misogyny on WrongPlanet?!

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31 Mar 2023, 8:36 am

cyberdad wrote:

There are two interesting statistics
1.63% of men under 30 describe themselves as single, compared with 34% of women in the same age group.
2.Never-married single men and women are about equally likely to have never been in a relationship (35% and 37%, respectively).

the number that's most interesting is 37% of women whom have never been in a relationship. When cross reference that against women who are single it provides some scary news for single men

If 34% of women are single (not attached) and in the same survey 37% have never been in a relationship it means
a) nearly 2/3 women are not single
b) the other third have never been in a relationship (but here's the question, do they want to be in a relationship with just any man? or are they waiting for a "high value man"?

I think you have the numbers a bit wrong.

The 34% of women who are single is looking at all women, whereas the 37% number is relative only to single women. So about one third of one third of women have never dated.

The numbers would roughly be 66% of women are taken, 22% are single but have had relationships, and 12% are single and have never dated.

TwilightPrincess
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31 Mar 2023, 8:40 am

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if it’s true that there are more single guys desiring a relationship than single women. That fact wouldn’t make it any easier for the women on here who are lonely and want a partner. It just makes sense to be more inclusive than to try to determine who supposedly has it easier.

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IsabellaLinton
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31 Mar 2023, 9:45 am

Not trying to derail, but do these surveys assume that women who haven't dated actually want to date?
Do they take into account some women may not be interested in the first place?
And of course, is the study heteronormative (the women are interested in men?)

Reasons women may not want to date men:

- No interest
- No time (busy with family, school, work)
- Haven't been asked by anyone they like
- Stats that say most women who are murdered are murdered by an intimate partner
- Stats that say most women who are abused are abused by an intimate partner

I don't think "not dating" means a women is "too picky"
Given these considerations, I wouldn't blame them for being cautious about dating

*This is not to insult men or be misandrist
It's a known fact that women are at high risk of abuse from at least one partner
I know that not all men are abusive but women need to be very selective as a result

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Last edited by IsabellaLinton on 31 Mar 2023, 9:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

The Grand Inquisitor
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31 Mar 2023, 9:46 am

It should never be about who has it easier, and everybody who posts about their issues should be supported, not disparaged or antagonised.

People should be free to talk about their own personal struggles with dating, including how social trends, their gender, and their sexual orientation have influenced their situation. Obviously this should never morph into belittling the difficulties faced by people of different identities.

Joe90
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31 Mar 2023, 9:50 am

There's misogyny on every forum.

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IsabellaLinton
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31 Mar 2023, 9:50 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

Thank you! I agree it's hard for some men to find dates for a number of reasons (particularly social changes). We hear it enough here on WP to know it's true. I'm glad you acknowledge it's just as hard for women to find dates, assuming they are cautious about dating the right person, and not just willing to accept anyone who comes along.

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31 Mar 2023, 10:05 am

Off Topic

Why call it 'love' and dating?

Why not just call it 'romance' and dating?

If I were to post anything related to love AND dating -- there's no romance. Or anything related to R 18+ that's more suitable for the adult autism issues section.

It's either more fitting into social skills and making friends, in depth adult life section, or even PPR.

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Fireblossom
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31 Mar 2023, 10:22 am

cyberdad wrote:

I've been asked about statistics and I've been warned I will be thrown off this forum.

The world's largest survey of men and women evert undertaken was by Pew Research who in 2020 surveyed single American men and women
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-tren ... americans/

There are two interesting statistics
1.63% of men under 30 describe themselves as single, compared with 34% of women in the same age group.
2.Never-married single men and women are about equally likely to have never been in a relationship (35% and 37%, respectively).

the number that's most interesting is 37% of women whom have never been in a relationship. When cross reference that against women who are single it provides some scary news for single men

If 34% of women are single (not attached) and in the same survey 37% have never been in a relationship it means
a) nearly 2/3 women are not single
b) the other third have never been in a relationship (but here's the question, do they want to be in a relationship with just any man? or are they waiting for a "high value man"?

Now in my experience I have come across a lot of single women who are highly selective about whom they sleep with but choose not to be in a relationship. In sharp contrast the single men I come across all desperately want a partner.

This would suggest there is 1 in 3 men who are likely never going to find love (this number has been verified in numerous publications) and as time goes the situation is only going to get worse. If you want to see the future, then look at Japan where at the moment 42% of men are virgins
https://edition.cnn.com/2016/09/20/asia ... index.html

Again I am not sure why I have been called a misogynist for merely reporting what is fact

Okay so I opened the link, and saw that it has this chart with numbers about what kind of women and what kind of men are single. It also has a mention that if you take all groups from one gender and put them together, the number of singles is 31 % for both genders. So, it's not like there are far more women in relationships than men. If we look at the chart by age groups however, we see that 52 % of men between the ages of 18-29 are single, while with women of the same age, the number is 32 %. If we go to the other end of the age scale, only 21 % of 65+ men are single, while with women of the same age group the number is 49 %. So, more young men showing as single in statistics than young women is not because some alphas hock all the women, but because, statistically speaking, young women are much likelier to go for older men than young men are to go for older women.

Oh and by the way, those statistics are about Americans, so they might not ably in other places.

The Grand Inquisitor
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31 Mar 2023, 11:48 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

How hard dating is, how hard it is to find dates, and the issues being dealt with will vary widely between individuals of all genders based upon numerous factors.

Heterosexual men appear to be more likely to have absolutely no women showing interest in them than the other way around, and while women may be generally more likely to receive interest, that doesn't mean it's coming from quality suitors, and it may sometimes take the form of harassment.

I think it's important that we we're able to talk about gender differences in dating, because they're relevant to how one's dating issues manifest and affect them, and how one needs to go about solving them. While some pieces of advice can be equally beneficial for lonely men and lonely women, gender identity and sexual orientation, along with other factors, are going to have an influence on where we struggle, why we struggle, and what we need to do to achieve the dating success we seek.

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31 Mar 2023, 12:00 pm

I think discussing potential gender differences when it comes to dating should be avoided because on WP it always leads to sexist posts that dismiss the struggles of other people who are experiencing the same thing.

It just doesn’t need to be about gender. People can talk about their problems while using inclusive language.

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Fireblossom
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31 Mar 2023, 12:04 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

Not a bad idea. I'm in favor of it, who else?

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31 Mar 2023, 12:05 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

I completely agree!! !

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31 Mar 2023, 12:09 pm

Fireblossom wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

Not a bad idea. I'm in favor of it, who else?

Me!! Me!! I am!!

IsabellaLinton
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31 Mar 2023, 12:20 pm

Fireblossom wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

Not a bad idea. I'm in favor of it, who else?

It works for me.

"I'm lonely and I wish I could date. I've had difficulty because _____ (reasons: being introverted, not knowing how to approach or meet people, lack of self-esteem, trauma from a previous situation -- whatever the issues)."

None of it needs to be about gender bc it can apply to us all.

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The Grand Inquisitor
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31 Mar 2023, 12:43 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

I get where you're coming from, but I think you're missing the full picture if you don’t look at dating through an intersectional lens.

As with other issues, people's dating issues are influenced by the intersections between their different identities, including neurodivergence, and certainly gender. I see stifling conversations that acknowledge gender dynamics and differences akin to stifling conversations that acknowledge autism as a factor in that you're not allowed to explore how your identity has factored into your current situation.

I'd like to see the misogyny gone too, but I think the better way is to harshly discipline offenders.

Twilightprincess wrote:

It just doesn’t need to be about gender. People can talk about their problems while using inclusive language.

Dating inherently pertains to gender.

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31 Mar 2023, 4:35 pm

^ But some women, including some women on WP, still struggle with the same issues and for similar reasons. Avoiding discussions about gender wouldn't stifle discourse at all.

Stating that one is shy and has trouble demonstrating interest could hold true for many, no matter their gender, and often does. Utilizing inclusive language does not inhibit dialogue. It encourages it.

As it stands, when female members struggle with similar issues, their problems are often dismissed and belittled because it does not fit in with certain members' preconceived notions or in some statistic.

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